Tiny Steps

I’ve been meaning to write this post for quite some time now, but never really got the chance. Now, I have the time, the motivation and the inclination to actually sit and write it down.

It’s a Friday afternoon and a lazy one at office. Not much of activity in the PR world on a weekend, and most of the work is to be pushed to the next week. So, I sit back in my plush chair, look up at the air-conditioned ceiling and think back at how to start this post.

This is actually an ode, a tribute to a friend of mine who’s been more than just a friend and never more. I call her Chucks, affectionately naming her after the haunted doll in a series of horror movies called Child’s Play. Chuckie’s in Sydney now, and has been for the past year and a half, studying to become a researcher in cancer genetics. Yeah, I know, she’s got big goals.

Actually, this is not an ode to Chucks, but rather a message of hope and strength that she desperately needs right now. She’s never been one to lose hope and direction in life, but quite recently, she shocked me when she said that she had lost them both. A self-deprecating journey can be disastrous and I know this first hand, when a lot of things didn’t fall in place for me at one point of time, and I fell into so deep a hole that it took me almost a year to recover. Chucks played a vital role in my recovery, and ever since, I’ve looked upon her as more of a mentor than a very good friend. it’s now been five years to the day since I’ve known her. April 18, 2002. 🙂

When a mentor loses confidence, then it’s up to the disciple to take over the mantle and guide the mentor out of the looming abyss. Things happen in life that can’t be avoided. We all go through a phase when we start questioning our judgments and our decisions, and whenever possible, we must be strong enough to back ourselves up. Realizing that we are of sound mind and sound body can help a lot.

Have faith, Chucks. Never lose faith. Believe in yourself and you’ll do amazing things. I am sure of that. I know you and I know your abilities and I’m sure somewhere deep down, you do too. Hope and faith are all the ammunition you’ve got to fight depression and bad tides. I urge you to use it.

Nostalgia can go a long way in your recovery. Remember how you cured me, Chucks. Remember the medicines you gave me – nostalgia, hope and faith. I hope you remember, because if you don’t, then I’d have to come all the way to Sydney now. 😀

I wish you all the very best in your life, Chucks. You’ve got a long and fruitful life ahead of you, and please don’t lose track of your original goals and plans. I’m here for you; we’re all here for you, Chucks. We want you to succeed and I want you to fulfill your promises you made me before you left.

Proceed in tiny steps, Chucks.


Dear Readers: I apologize if this blog wasn’t really the ideal forum for posting this message to Chucks, but I had to do it. After what she’s done for me, I feel this is the least I could do. I would be grateful if you could leave behind your wishes and good will for my dear Chucks, and hope that she can get over her troubles and depressions and return home victorious! Thanks! I owe you all! 🙂


Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

40 thoughts on “Tiny Steps

  1. Chuckie,
    I wish you all the best! Yaake, I think this is a very touching post and one thats filled with a lot of love and strength….
    don’t you bother, chuckie… life comes a full circle every now and then… 🙂

  2. Whoa !!
    Thats something wonderful what you’ve done !

    All the Best to Chuck from me too !

    Btw,researcher in cancer genetics ?
    Thats so cool. Something I may want to do for sure !

  3. Staring at the blank page before you
    Open up the dirty window
    Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

    Reaching for something in the distance
    So close you can almost taste it
    Release your inhibitions
    Today is where your book begins
    The rest is still unwritten

    Adopted – Unwritten

  4. @Harbinger, slater, nita, meor@maru:
    Thanks so much people! I really appreciate it… 🙂

    thanks for dropping by.. actually, many people can relate to this… i just wish things work out in the end… 🙂

  5. @Priya
    Thanks so much… I know Chucks can work things out… she just needs some support…
    the poem you’ve quoted is so true and makes so much perfect sense in this situation… nothing is written still, we all need to fill in our pages… 🙂
    and u’re interested in cancer research…? coool!! 😀 I was actually working as a cancer researcher myself… lol… 😀

  6. Sometimes times/things get real tough
    and it is great friends that really show u the way
    this is inspiring stuff 🙂

    i was just talkg long distance to someone dear and she said one thing – kids and infants work so hard to do stuff, i mean the mundane things like to crawl, turn, express and even shit – tis us adults that loose interest or faith in our abilities

    Hang in there !

  7. Chance is a gift for those who try, its not just on your part to give up, but yeah i have seen ambitions can be devastating, live life and do not long for what you could do but for what you are doing now.

    I remember the only pain that comes is from attachment with things, but its quite impractical to live here without attachment with the things but still one can avoid a thing or few.

    Hope she will understand the life a lot better.

  8. @Prax
    your words are so true… they say child is the father of man… and this is one good reason for it… there’s a lot we can learn from children…
    thanks for your support! 🙂

    thanks so much… please visit again 🙂

    thanks for your wisdom… I’m sure she can achieve great things, but needs some support… thanks again! keep visiting 🙂

  9. chucks,whoever you are….wherever you are,i hope reading this post gives you the strength,it almost seems like yaake is screaming out and trying to reach for your hand lest you slip and fall below …dont let that happen,hang on,will pull you back 🙂

  10. thank u people. i really appreciate this. today i realize i have such a good friend. i didnt know that he considered me his mentor. i thought we were more like normal best buddies, helping out each other in any problem either of us faced.
    but frankly, he aced out today. certain things are beyond words, and i dont know how to thank him and thank everyone of u, to wish me luck and wisdom.
    off late, it has been very difficult to see things clearly. the more i try, the more blur it becomes. i believe it normally happens to people at this age. maybe they call it quarter life crisis. but whatever it is, it breaks a person completely. but your saving grace, are ur friends. mine is yaake. thank u. i know small words. but that is all i have.
    thank u everyone and thank u my friend. thank u.

  11. @ Yaake : Thats a song man. Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield ( don’t go by the artist, the songs pretty good 😛 )

    Ohh !!
    Not Cancer research in particular, but yeah, Genetics – Reasearch is all very interesting ! 😀

  12. @Priya
    lol… yeah, it is, isn’t it? 😀
    And i actually like a few of bedingfield’s songs… hehe… and any info u need on cancer genetics, lemme know… 🙂

    what can i say… you’re welcome! 😀

  13. no we are just great buddies !!! i already have a boyfriend. its pure platonic relationship !!!

  14. @Aniche
    lol… No, dude! I ain’t in love with her… just good friends… 😀

    yea, platonic was the word i was looking for… 😀

  15. Whatever your setback was, Chucks, I hope you can turn to it and say, “Thank you.” Then, kick the setback’s ass, and say thank you again. Or maybe the setback will thank you for kicking its ass.

  16. Hey what a sweet thing to do for a friend…..sometimes friendshp reaches a level so beyond itself-it becomes a part of your own identity. Both of you’re lucky to have each other. may your friendship be an example for others.
    I am touched.
    fruity 😉

  17. @mariacristina
    truer words have never been spoken… (um… written) 😀 Thanks…

    Thanks! 🙂


    thanks so much… i really appreciate it! 🙂

  18. All the best, dear chuckie…
    Yaake, this is such a lovely thing you’ve done for her… And I had great fun reading this comments..!!! lolzzz… 😀

  19. Chucks, I hope you already made the right decision by now… 🙂

    Words of consolation may seem small as said, but they can seem enormous if perceived right…
    Always remember:
    If you think you can, you are right!

    I’ve had the good and bad days, on the good ones, I thank God for giving me the joy, and on the bad ones, I thank Him again for giving me the opportunity… i had the bad ones because I believe He trusts me, He knows I can make my way thru it…
    and when I think of His trust, I do not want to disappoint Him.

    We are all similar in that we are all unique!

    And knowing you have such a great friend, that itself would make it worth while to try leaning to the brighter side…

    Be yourself, now and always 🙂

  20. @CokeBoy
    Have fun! thanks for dropping by! 🙂

    I think you’ve said it all… You’ve said it more eloquently than I could even have done… Thanks so much… I really appreciate the gesture 🙂

  21. Oye I am so late to reply dear yaake 😦
    But I am really happy to see Chucks reply. 🙂
    All the best …… All is for the Best

  22. after all chucks the mentor is human, but with faith in her self and your kind of friendship, she’ll be more than fine!

    @priya – i also go back to the words of that song in discouraging moments. 🙂

  23. thank you everyone! i m trying. really trying hard. i wish it just works out. its just a phase, and it shall pass. i hope !!!

  24. @ratedxtin
    Thanks! 🙂

    You’re welcome! 🙂
    Hope is the best vehicle.. ride it… (no puns intended!) 😉

  25. I know my wishes come late, but Nikhil, I didn’t think I’d ever get to read something so sweet on your blog! Not since I started blog-stalking you anyway 🙂

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