Letter to Cupid :)

Dear Asshole Cupid,

When you first met me, you chose a lovely, red, pointy arrow and shot it right through my heart. I bled and bled but you didn’t really care. You moved on to your next victim, impaling everyone you met! I so hate you for pulling that arrow out forcefully and hurting me more! When you did that to me, you not only ensured that two lives would never be the same again, but you also made sure that I can never be affected by your childish charms and sharp arrows again!

Just because you’re a child with wings and you carry around a bow and arrow, you think you can play around with people’s lives and emotions and feelings? Who gave you that right, you idiot child? Just because you are written about in books and sung about in stupid love songs, you think that you are the ultimate puppet master, making your victims dance to your tunes? You’re nothing but a spoiled brat, you hear me? Your curly, blonde hair, your red and rosy cheeks and those brilliant blue (apparently) innocent eyes may fool others but not me! I think I know what you’re planning for me!

You want me to take the tried and tested path of begging for your arrow to be impaled again in my heart, drinking myself silly in filthy places and in my stupor, calling out for that cardiac pain again and stabbing myself with chemicals in the hope of seeing your bright wings again – think again, asshole Cupid! I am not going to give you that pleasure. I am well and truly in control of my emotions and for all I care, you can take those arrows of yours and thrust it up your ass. I don’t really care how you do it, but given a chance, I’d do it for you myself! I dare you to come before me again, as you did last time! Stand before me like a man and face me!

Oh, I forgot – you’re a child! πŸ˜€

So, here’s what I really had to say to you, Cupid. Drop Dead! πŸ˜€

Yours sincerely,

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

36 thoughts on “Letter to Cupid :)

  1. I love how humour bursts into life in your words even when they happen to be emotionally raw and vulnerable.


  2. oh! master of puppets? buy an arrow na…?? i mean even children know the value of money πŸ™‚ dear cupid,i would like to buy an arrow,i want it to have the following effects on me….the devil’s wager πŸ™‚

  3. @Saro
    Thanks! I’m glad you feel that way! πŸ™‚
    I tend to be a bit funny (sometimes too much) so, please bear with me! πŸ™‚

    the devil’s wager! nice! isn’t it a book by someone? πŸ˜€

    Why would anything be wrong with me? πŸ˜€

  4. whoa whoa whoa!! poor cupid..whatever happened to having a part to play in all that happens to you?

    Good you don’t plan to turn into a urbanized, verbally endowed version of the grand old drunkard of the Indian kitch cinema..bring on the humour I say!

  5. @vishesh
    Yeah!! Spencer! she writes all these weird romantic novels man! Now I know why you want cupid to be involved now!! πŸ˜›

    Verbally endowed? Me?? Look who’s talking… πŸ˜›
    And no da, I’m not going down that road!

  6. It’s only words. words are all I have, to kick his ass aside… or something like that, as the beegees song goes! πŸ˜€

  7. “Dear Cupid,
    Way to Go !! Strike as many arrows as possible at this big fat jerk. He totally deserves it for being so funny and for (almost)making every reader fall out of their chair bursting into laughter.”

    You child killer ! πŸ˜€

  8. child killer is what priya says and optly gives clues to cupid for the humour you create wonderful my first visit to your blog i am impressed so much. when are you going to gokarna btb i am here thro poonam’s blog and then on way back to goa. do you stay in mumbai?
    continue your witty writings and I love to read your stories at my leisure hope to get into more details about nikhil!!!!!!!!!

  9. So creative! Poor ole cupid didn’t know who he was messing with. Sometimes anger after a breakup is the best way to move forward.

  10. @Priya
    Thoo… i’m no child killer… i’m very particular about which children I hate! πŸ™‚

    I live in b’lore… and i’m going to gokarna in June sometime… πŸ™‚
    Thanks for dropping by! I’m glad u liked it here… Keep visiting πŸ™‚

    I hope the smile doesn’t leave ur face, ever! πŸ™‚

    yeah, i guess so! i mean, since I can’t blame her nor can i blame myself for the way things turned out, I chose the perfect scapegoat in cupid! πŸ˜€

  11. @Meghana
    I don’t care! I’m blind with rage, anyway!! πŸ˜€

    I shall consider it! Thanks for dropping in and leaving your FIRST comment on my site after 4 months!!!!!!!! πŸ˜›

  12. @ Yaake- you so remind me of the popular punjabi cult song-Pyaar karke pachtaya!! Hmmmm love bugged………..Breakup SUCKS!!!! and your letter is the perfect elixir for broken hearts!!!!!

    fruity πŸ˜‰

  13. you’ve got it all wrong. the cupid isn’t a sweet cherubic child. he’s a fuckin midget! he’s just bitter! so i think if u need to get rid off him you have to take him out. he’s not just gonna drop dead.

  14. @Fruity
    I haven’t heard that song… but yes! breakup sucks bigtime!! πŸ˜€ Baahhhhhhh

    Ok, brother! I’ll do it! Will you help me get prepared? Let’s get all the goods and hire someone professional to do this. I’ll call the fuckin midget out to some field at night and when he least suspects it, a bullet to his head… or better still, lets incapacitate him and torture him to death! πŸ˜€

  15. Melancholy huh?
    Now i get why you are on to blogging πŸ˜›

    And talking about songs..
    Do you enjoy I dream of Rain by Sting??

  16. @Sandeep R
    One – I wasn’t dumped! πŸ˜€
    Two – It was a mutual break-up thingy… πŸ˜€
    Three – I am not melancholy…!! “Phbbbt !!! πŸ˜›
    Four – Thanks! I’m glad you liked it! πŸ™‚
    Five – I am not melancholy…!! “Phbbbt !!! πŸ˜›
    Six – I am not melancholy…!! “Phbbbt !!! πŸ˜›

    hehehehe!! Thanks for dropping by, man! I’m adding you to my blogroll! πŸ˜€
    Btw, how did the war with Meghana go? Who won?? πŸ˜€

  17. @Sandeep
    Yeah, the jury decided after i submitted the comment above! πŸ˜€
    and I am not melancholy! yay! πŸ˜€

  18. @Aniche “incapacitate him and torture him to death”!!!! and deprive others who are not asbitter yet or have not experienced the over whelming feeling yet or those who have a happy journey/ending love story??? and remember love is not always between only bf-gf.

    @Nikhil If you fall in love with another and she falls in love with you and then love choses to leave,do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame.There is a reason and a meaning which u will know in time.. Enough philosophy!!! Adding ur blog to my blog roll..and I don’t agree with blaming cupid or killing him. Have you heard Michael Bolton’s Time love and tenderness?

  19. Dude its only the first arrow that matters. After that its all the same old wine in a spanky new bottle. With time, if the new bottle gets old, finish the wine, break the bottle and stab the cupid. πŸ˜‰

  20. @Reema
    Thanks… Actually, you’re right… It not we who choose, but the other way around… but still, its frustrating when its ends… πŸ™‚
    And no, i havent heard that song…

    Thanks! I’m glad u liked it… πŸ™‚

    hehehe… good advice, man! πŸ™‚

  21. hehe…good one…
    btw, wish tu let ya know…Cupid is dead. I murdered him a while ago myself πŸ˜‰ [Police thinks he took yur advice and shove the arrows up where yu asked him to; hope CBI doesnt latch on to the case] πŸ˜€

  22. @Scorpia
    hahahaha!! So it was YOU..!!! When I tried to kill that kid, he already looked dead.. .didn’t put up a fight at all! πŸ˜€

  23. made me LOL!! you turned a bitter topic into a laugh riot. okay. thats an exaggeration. but i really love your writing style! im glad i discovered your site. pls keep on writing. πŸ™‚

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