The Funny Guy! :)

I have recently been awarded the dubious distinction of being Mr. Funny Guy by my friends. I should be honored, and to an extent, I am. How this title came about and why I am not really satisfied with it will be apparent after you read this whole post. πŸ™‚

It was a dark and gloomy Wednesday evening, around six, when I decided to wrap things up in the office and go all the way to Yelahanka, where my brother was waiting in the police station after his bike had been towed away. I had to go there and pay the fine of 600 bucks to bail the bike out. When I left, the rain had just about abated and I made quick time in traveling the 30-odd miles to Yelahanka. We both got drenched on the way back, but that seems to be a minor point of little or no interest to the readers, who’re probably well accustomed to my bouts of bad luck. I met a few friends for dinner that night and decided to liven up the night with a joke.

“Okay, people! I am going to tell you a joke!” I announced. Everyone fell silent and listened intently, being aware of my reputation for spinning a lovely yarn. I was actually trying to impress my friend’s cute cousin who’d joined us. She was sitting next to me and seemed to be hanging on my every word. I desperately wanted to impress her and make her smile. So, I dug into my vast database of corny jokes and pulled out the best one!:D

“There was this scientist,” I began, “and he had just invented a biologically-engineered refrigerator. The fridge was so cool (no puns intended!) that it could order groceries online and make instant breakfast. It ran on some pretty cool DNA-computing circuits and was state-of-the-art! It was more intelligent than the most intelligent computers of the day. So, this scientist was selected for the Nobel Prize that year.”

I looked at the cute girl, paused for effect, and smiled. Everyone on the table was gripped. “The Nobel Committee waned him to fly over to Stockholm and demonstrate his bio-engineered refrigerator. So, this scientist rented a single engine Cessna plane and started his journey. Halfway through the flight, the single engine died and the plane began to crash. The pilot screamed, “Hey scientist! We are too heavy and the plane can’t handle it! You have to throw your fridge out!”

“No way!” screamed the scientist. “I have given my whole life for this invention!”

“Look, fella! If we don’t throw it overboard, we’re all going to die. It’s too heavy. You have your research data with you anyway. It’s just a question of assembling it again. Please understand!”

“So, this scientist, after careful deliberation, opened the door with a heavy heart and threw the fridge out.”

I stopped talking and took a sip of water and leaned back with a smile. Everyone on the table were leaning forward, intently waiting. “Then what happened?” asked the cute girl next to me.

“Nothing,” I said. “That’s the end of the story. ”

When they all realized that I had conned them, it was too late. The expression on their faces was a million dollar one. I started laughing out so loud that I drowned their angry retorts and groans and the hotel manager came up, glared at me and said, “Sir, please don’t laugh so loud. You’re disturbing the other guests!”

I continued laughing in a whisper and the other people around the table were ready to drown me in my tomato soup. “Okay guys, I am sorry,” I said. “I’ll make it up to you. I’ll tell you a better joke this time and I swear on the graves of all the men, women and children who died building this hotel that you will not be disappointed.”

My reputation as a funny guy preceded me and they all agreed to give me one more chance. “Last chance,” said the cute girl next to me. “I’ll slap you if you do this again.”

I wanted to tell her that I would do anything to get her to slap me because that would mean she would have to touch me. Oh, she was so cute!! πŸ˜€

“Okay, get ready,” I announced and cleared my throat. “There’s this beautiful lake in the middle of nowhere and in the center of the lake is a small islet on which the most beautiful flower is growing. The lake is infested with crocodiles and sharks and piranhas and just about any man-eating critter nature has created. On the banks of the lake, a man and a woman are sitting, cuddled up. They are very much in love with each other. The woman asks the man to swim across and get that flower for her. He protests and says that he’s going to killed trying to cross the lake. “Is this how much you love me?” asks the girl, very depressed. So, the man takes offense and says, “If you want me to prove my love to you, then I will cheat death and get you the flower.” He strips down and starts swimming. He battles all the critters that come in his way and finally reaches the middle of the lake, plucks the flower and swims back, again battling nature’s fury. He reaches the shore and climbs out holding the flower. And then, right in front of the woman’s eyes, he dies!”

I paused for effect. “Why did he die?” I asked, looking around at everyone.

They were all listening to my story so intently that one of them immediately said, “The flower was poisonous”

“No,” I said.

“Something attacked him!”

“No”

“He had a heart attack?”

“No”

The cute girl then said, “Tell me, tell me! Please!”

I couldn’t ignore her cries. Oh, and her voice was so sweet. So, I told them the answer – “The fridge fell on him!”

For two minutes there was complete silence and I inched closer to the cute girl and turned my head at an angle so that she could get a good whack at my cheek. But to my surprise, she burst out laughing and so did the others. They liked the stupid joke! I was so annoyed!

So, that’s how I got the title and that’s why I am not too excited about it! She didn’t slap me! Now, I don’t know when I am going to see her next. Damn! 😦

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31 thoughts on “The Funny Guy! :)

  1. TO ALL THE GIRLS WHO READ THIS,i think your shoes will be pretty too for hitting this guy!

    any i started laughing too…not as bad as a junior in my school…he made me and my friends sit for an hour before an exam and told long never ending one….

  2. Damn Nikhil, she is your “friend’s” “cousin”!!!! πŸ˜€ Be decent (even inside your mind man πŸ˜› )

    Wow and the joke really deserved a kick on your ass. I will give this “tip” to that cute little girl next time πŸ˜€

    P.S. And I used to TELL another version of this joke where second story involved a young couple on BEACH ready to start something πŸ˜›

  3. Well, she should have slapped you really hard. πŸ˜†
    And the story was worth a laugh. So stop calling your friends stupid indirectly. πŸ˜›

  4. Ahhhhh so typical of you guys- ‘I wanted to tell her that I would do anything to get her to slap me because that would mean she would have to touch me. Oh, she was so cute!!’

    Duh huh! Anyways its an old joke and everytime I hear it I find it funny! hehehee…..And learn more jokes if in case the cute girl (ahem) visits you next time.
    hheheeeheh

    fruity πŸ˜‰

  5. I agree with fruitymind.. So typical of you guys! πŸ˜›
    I have this friend who makes me promise that I should laugh for her joke, no matter how silly it is! And I do.. just to make her happy. I laugh out loud like how you did! πŸ˜€

  6. Nikhil: People do not realise that being funny (or having a good sense of humour) indicates a great deal of lateral intelligence that engages instantaneously, and at the right time. I can see why the girl would never slap you in a million years! Few guys have this sort of intelligence and even fewer can make jokes that somehow do not involve denigrating a group (gender, religion etc) or making innuendos. This sort of silly jokes that require connecting two jokes are just the best.

    PS: Luckily, knowing your writing, none of us has to ask after the first line – Funny, Ha-Ha? Or Funny Peculiar? πŸ˜‰

  7. At first when I saw this post i thought, what the heck, nikhil expects us to go through such a long joke!! πŸ™‚ But yeah, it was funny. πŸ™‚ something tells me that it would have be even funnier to hear you tell it, if your expression was like what it is in your avatar. πŸ˜€

  8. hey, i have tried this joke, was almost run down, got beaten up, got THE LOOK……..
    but each time I hear this joke (or say it) I laugh all the way down on the floor…. πŸ˜€

  9. u r picturing the girl to be an innocent sweet one πŸ˜€ who refused to slap u,beware ,u try such jokes again with her,baat bhi shaayad bandh ho jaayega πŸ™‚

    and contradictory,u say–you wanted to impress her ,then u say u wanna get slapped ,hypo hypo :X

  10. Again, SO typical of you guys!

    Also, So typical of us girls! We’re total suckers for all you funny guys, nah?
    He He, No wonder the cute girl loved the “joke”!

    πŸ™‚

    Good luck with The Cute Girl, Mr. Funny Guy.

  11. A typical guy activity!! I have observed many of guy friends,colleagues and students..if a girl gives little attention to their PJs they are prompted to make up more of them. A giggle from the girl is sufficient to make them crack bad jokes or show off in any other way to get attention!! πŸ˜€

    But ur joke is above PJ category. Nice punchline…the connection part…

  12. @Vishesh
    Gee thanks, as if slaps weren’t enough!! hehe… And yeah, really long PJs are just very irritating!! πŸ˜€

    @Suda
    You ask me to be decent when you own version of the joke isn’t… Is that fair?? πŸ˜›

    @wingardiumleviosa
    Sigh… I know!! 😦
    You’re the only one here who’s supporting me… Look at the other comments, they all think I’m a “typical” guy..!!

    @Amit
    Yeah, well… They weren’t stupid… And I don’t know, I wanted her to slap me.. so, i thought this would be corny enough! πŸ˜€

  13. @Fruity
    Do you have any new ones?? Please tell me.. .I met few more cute chicks and I was searching for such jokes! πŸ˜€

    @Swat
    I am 100 times better than your friend in the jokes dept.. Generally, all my jokes are funny! πŸ˜›

    @Shefaly
    Yeah, since I’m gonna retire as a comedian, I have this habit of keeping my jokes politically correct and gender-insensitive! πŸ˜€

    @Nita
    My expression was exactly like that in the avatar.. πŸ˜€
    I didn’t know the post would run into this long, and i think this is the longest post… πŸ˜€

  14. @Xylene
    Oh yeah! The LOOK..! πŸ˜€

    @Meghana
    I am not being a hypocrite! hehe… You do not understand these subtleties we men have to go thro when it comes to impressing you girls!! πŸ˜›

    @Pooja
    Thanks da!! I shall let u know if something clicks! πŸ˜‰

    @Reema
    I don’t do PJs..!! hehe… I’m a bit better than that! πŸ˜€
    Thanks for visiting my site! πŸ˜€

  15. dude i’m not sure if you have impressed that friend’s cousin.. but you sure are impressing few pretty girls out here by making a mountain outta a mole πŸ˜‰

    btw is this a strategy? πŸ˜›
    now i’ve begin to wonder if there was any cute girl… πŸ˜€

  16. You are indeed clever… thanks for the laugh I had a long weekend…

    Great joke… I was hanging on, then when it happened… the fridge…

    “oh no he didn’t!!!” great story!!!

  17. @johemmant
    Gotcha! πŸ˜€

    @allirekha
    Well, you don’t know how much a guy has to suffer if a girl is cute!! πŸ˜€

    @Sandeep
    Hmmm… Let’s keep it our little secret! Btw, I picked up a few chicks with this line on Saturday at Stones! πŸ˜€
    They were impressed!! hehehe…

    @enreal
    hahahhaa!! glad you had a laugh! πŸ˜€

  18. dude you rock! πŸ˜€
    saying this coz of your comment in reply to allirekha.. ‘you don’t know how much a guy has to suffer if a girl is cute!’ /)

  19. @Poonam
    Hehehe… in the context, I felt stupid because the chick actually liked it! πŸ˜€

    @Sandeep
    Amen, brother! πŸ˜€

  20. OMG! It’s that joke !! THAT joke!!! if only i had had the patience tu read all this before going tu Solitaire! Damn, we’d have swapped LOOKs πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    hmmm…so yu try this on every girl! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜› (never worked, did it?)

  21. this was a great one… wow.. loved it very much…
    I burst out laughing after the fridge fell on him.. everyone was staring @ me in the office πŸ™‚

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