The Finger!

For some strange reason, people like to give me the finger! They think that raising their middle finger at me and glaring at me (if-looks-could-kill kind of looks) would make them feel better, perhaps even make up for all the injustices I have heaped on them. And the other thing that bothers me is that whenever people give me “the finger”, more often than not, they are people I don’t know and am passing them on the road. I sat down and seriously considered my driving skills one day.

I am a safe driver, I don’t go beyond 60 kmph and most of the times, I apologize for bumping into some other vehicle or some old bugger trying to cross the road, and at the times I don’t apologize is when I don’t realize that I’ve “made contact,” a fact which I realize only when I go home and see the fuel or the oil leaking out from a hole in the chassis. But still, I haven’t killed anyone or anything on the road, and am generally on the right side of the traffic. ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway, these things are beyond my comprehension. If people on the street want to give me the finger, they can go ahead and do it. I don’t really care. But if they really have to give me the finger and shout out loud that I’m a “rotten scoundrel who has to learn how to drive and respect elders,” when I’m standing in front of my house, with a few cute girls whom I’m trying to charm, thus ruining my chances with the lovely creations of God, then it pisses me off! ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway, dear reader, I’m back from my hiatus and will be filling these pages with more of my singular and quirky experiences hoping to make you laugh, and I thank you all for your support.

Shefaly has tagged me with a lovely meme here, and I am in the process of compiling the relevant information to do that. Hopefully, I’ll finish it soon and post the tag.

Cheers! ๐Ÿ™‚

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

16 thoughts on “The Finger!

  1. ” I donโ€™t go beyond 60 kmph ”
    In namma Bengaluru, even 40 kmph is not safe man!!

    And people ‘actually’ showed you ‘the finger’ on the road ??
    Buahahahhahahahaha !! Which road ? ๐Ÿ˜€

    โ€œrotten scoundrel who has to learn how to drive and respect elders”
    ROFL !!

    Btw, you are Always onto charimg ‘cute girls’ eh ?? Like, EVERYTIME ?!! What-are-you-?

    Glad that you’re back. I’ll get something good to read in between Magnetism and Evolution ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

  2. The Finger is one of the brilliant creations by man after the wheel. But its bad, when u are at the wrong side of it.

  3. Exactly..
    I too am a very safe driver like you.. ๐Ÿ˜›
    swearing happens at least once in two days..
    and an altercation at least once in a couple of weeks!

    and ya as Pri says you always on to charming cute girls huh? ๐Ÿ˜€

  4. @priya
    This happened on MG Road and on 19th Main Road, in Rajajinagar! ๐Ÿ˜€
    and yeah i can’t help it if cute girls flock to me and wanna get charmed!! hehehe….

    yes! I know! then come the cigarette, the cell phone and the condom! ๐Ÿ˜€

    hehehe… well… what can i say? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. @ Nikhil: You know why the V-sign (the one which shows the back of the hand to the person who sees it) was used as a rude gesture? It dates back to the 100 Years war.

    The greatest victories of this war came to the English and the Welsh longbowmen, who were vastly outnumbered by the French but had much greater skill with their weapons. When the French captured the longbowmen, they chopped off their first and second fingers, essentially required to draw the bow. So now the English longbowmen knew what would happen if they were captured. Therefore, before battle, they would taunt the French lines by sticking a two-finger salute up at them.

    This continues in the modern day as a gesture of defiance.

    Of course this is not to be confused with Winston Churchill’s V-sign with palm facing towards the person who sees it.

    Next time, try the two-finger salute and leave people confused. If nothing you will feel superior. There are other fairly rude hand gestures in Europe, that vary from country to country and it would be very safe to use them on Indian roads. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. Hey Check out Youth Unite and the new Header.

    About the new Authot Page…can’t we just make a simple normal one ?? Now there are more authors and it would be a tough job.
    Anyway, its up to you now.

    My gmail isn’t working so had to say it here.

    Adios !

  7. @Shefaly
    wow! thats an interesting piece of history! Thanks! I will definitely do that from now on!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Okie, I’ll check it out! And yeah I agree, the author page is not feasible because too many authors are involved… lets see what we can do!
    And why is gmail not working??? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

  8. //shout out loud that Iโ€™m a โ€œrotten scoundrel who has to learn how to drive and respect elders,โ€ when Iโ€™m standing in front of my house, with a few cute girls whom Iโ€™m trying to charm//

    I dont get it..why would anyone scold u for driving badly when ur standing in front of ur house???

    Nice to have u back.

  9. Reema, think logical, he just stopped in front of his house after showing some extraordinary driving capabilities ๐Ÿ˜€ Am I right Nikhil?

  10. you are so hung up with the “look at me,you cute chicks” plan ! ๐Ÿ˜›

    and road rage is at its peak these days,even though i dont drive,whenever i travel in an auto ,i am so worried the driver will pick up an argument with someone,they r known for that !the choicest of abuses come from them !

  11. Like Xylene, I think ‘the finger’ and wheels are amongst the best inventions. And they are chums too. These days it’s usually a hand on the wheel and a hand out the window — with a flipped finger. That’s the new hello of NY — feels inadequeate without one a day !

    Donno if its the Aussies or the Brits, one of em takes offence to a Thumbs-Up..

  12. oh now after being on the highway(well ok,it had a lot of diversions because of the new *biggie road* coming up) 60 sounds so slow ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. @Reema
    Suda’s absolutely right!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    You’re absolutely right!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    chicks find me cute, so I return the favor… ๐Ÿ˜›
    And yeah, auto drivers are the worst of the lot!!

    Welcome to MirrorCracked!! ๐Ÿ™‚
    and i think its the brits.. they always were a little strange… hehe…

    haha… 60 on bangalore roads… hmmm… well… ๐Ÿ˜€

  14. @ Nikhil:

    That was just an idea, not an advice, ok? So go easy! I also visit Bangalore and I would not want to be tracked down and lynched. ๐Ÿ™‚

    No, the Brits do not take offence at the thumbs-up sign.

  15. just reminded of this ,
    in a meeting someone said, don’t remember the exact lines, in U.S, driving is left side, in UK driving is right side, India, driving is suicide,

    funny post, just try to get used to both, driving and swearing.

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