Skeletons In My Closet!

CartoonStock.comI will risk being ridiculed as a clichΓ© when I write this post, but I have to get my fingers moving over the keyboard. I am suffering from a serious bout of writers’ block nowadays. I can’t seem to convince myself that I must write to keep my mind spiraling down into an abyss of mundane work. I’ve been putting in twelve hours of work everyday now, for the past few weeks, and that has taken a toll on my writing. I have been accused of neglecting my blog, neglecting all the beautiful people on my Gtalk list, and not giving enough time to myself.

So, I decided yesterday (while I was in the middle of a beautiful dream) that the best way to get over this block is to start by revealing ten deep, dark secrets about myself – the skeletons in my closet – for the whole world to see and judge and hopefully, have mercy on my poor soul and forgive me for all my cupidity. Er.. I mean, stupidity! πŸ˜€

1. Stuffed penguins freak me out! (As a kid, I used to watch Pingu and cry, and almost killed a friend of mine for forcing me to watch Happy Feet!)

2. I am homophobic – I don’t like the concept of homosexuality! (No offense to anyone, it’s just my personal belief that nature did not intend that to happen!) πŸ˜€

3. I like it when people scream at me. It’s probably not subtle masochism but the fulfillment of an innermost desire to annoy others! πŸ˜€

4. I am in love…

5. I like playing chess with people online, because that way, I can cheat by using Shredder Chess! πŸ˜€

6. I once burned my dad’s feet with a hot serving spoon intentionally, when I was six years old, because he refused to buy me chocolates! πŸ˜€

7. I think I’m from another planet, but I’m not sure of the facts…

8. When I’m alone, I fart loudly and smile to myself! πŸ˜€ (I will vehemently deny this fact in court, if it comes to that!!)

9. Till very recently, I did not know the difference between the kind of work a Prime Minister does and the kind of work a Mayor does! (Thanks for the enlightenment, Shefaly!)

10. I don’t bathe on weekends! πŸ˜€

Phew.. Took me half an hour but I did it! I wrote something! Yay! πŸ˜€

P.S. This was also a tag by Vishesh. I’ve got a couple of other left in my drafts, which I’ll be posting soon.

P.P.S. Ms. Charming Girl, you were exactly as I had imagined you would be. Thanks for meeting me last night…

(Photo Courtesy:

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

54 thoughts on “Skeletons In My Closet!

  1. well, if these are your darkest secrets, you must be a saint!! πŸ™‚ In any case I am never going to meet you on week-ends!! πŸ™‚

  2. @Nita
    hahaahha!! It’s ok, I never usually meet anyone on the weekends when I’m not bathed… But if I have to go out somewhere, I do take a cursory splash… πŸ˜€

  3. lol….
    1st one is strange and difficult to beleive :P’
    4th one is not ur dark secret anymore u revelaed it in last u need to write another one as a substitute for that πŸ˜›
    what is this shredder chess ? does it help u out with moves πŸ˜›
    8th one is disgustingly funny πŸ˜€ πŸ˜†
    and no wonder about the 10th one..most guys are like that πŸ˜›

  4. About your DD, are dangerous when your are vindictive.

    I like it that you are in love. I vow to never play chess with you online, now that I know you cheat. I don’ t want to know about your bathing habits. πŸ˜›

    but i am curious what Shefaly enlightened you with?

  5. Nikhil: That difference was applicable mostly to the US and the UK. I do not know if Mayors exist in Indian cities and if their role differs from the Premier’s in different ways.

    Confession 2 is serious. You may have to think twice about visiting London or SFO then! πŸ™‚ These are seriously liberal cities and you will spend much time being upset.

  6. nikhil , u dont bathe on weekends ..chi chi πŸ˜€
    n what did ur father get u that day ?? πŸ˜†

    //I like it when people scream at me.// . hahaha πŸ˜†

  7. @ shefaly, we do have mayors in Indian cities and their roles are quite important [atleast on paper! πŸ™‚ ] but since i have not seen any really working for the city will not be able to say whether they are really different from other official governmetn post!

    @ Niks

    1. I still like pingu and almost cried seeing happy feet! Notice the word”almost” πŸ™‚

    2. homo? … hun… well…

    4. as arvind already mentioned earlier, we all know that now! πŸ˜€

    5. cheater cock, cheater cock! πŸ˜›

    6. You were so vindictive at the age of six? my god, can’t imagine you now! πŸ˜› *shudder*

    7. hmmmmmmm… when my daughter asks me “what is an alien?” will show your snap! πŸ˜›

    8. …….

    9. a writer’s general knowledge! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜›

    10. Totally agree ith nita… in case we ever meet, will make sure its not a wek end! πŸ˜›

    P.S. point no three has been deliberately left, “comments writer block”

    And congrates for meeting your Ms. Charming finally! enjoy!!!

  8. Hiloss…thanks for sharing ur secrets…but i guess this is not ur DD it?…i doubt…btw…congrats for making that happen ! All the best for yo and yor Ms.Charming πŸ™‚

  9. @Arvind
    Finally! At least someone agrees with me on point 10!! πŸ˜€
    Shredder is a chess engine, which helps people cheat! πŸ˜€

    Hehehe… fair enough…
    And shefaly explained to me the difference between the two ppl – mayors and PMs…! πŸ˜€

    Hehehe!! I shall think about it.. .:D

  10. @Rekha
    My dad gave me such a beating that day!! πŸ˜€

    Hahahaha!! Your responses to my secrets are funnier to read! πŸ˜€
    I’m not vindictive anymore… As i said, Dad beat me up good.. He beat the hell out of me! πŸ˜€

    Maybe… It’d be interesting if she tries to.. This habit has been borne out of years and years of practice… πŸ˜€

    Thanks! DD Secrets?? πŸ˜€

  11. On that post-post script, I could not help but resist adding this:

    PS: You have NO IDEA what a flank you have opened, Nikhil! πŸ˜‰

  12. @sandeep

    sandeep is more excited bout the girl πŸ˜€ watch out teddy


    yeah,pingu is cho cute ! dunno how anyone can hate em !

    i am gifting u a wknd shower in some exotic spa,when is ur bday ?

  13. haha……’s really damn funny
    Especially the 8th one………….
    About the 4th one i think u have already revield that in your previous post.

  14. @Nik – Abt the post…ok funny..nothg different than what other people had to say…

    Abt Miss Charming…is it like the Love Love? Or Ok Love? Hows she?
    Met her? damn..!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜› Me n San are just interested to know abt her! πŸ˜›

  15. @Ken
    Oh! Ok… I thought something different altogether! πŸ˜€

    @Quirky Indian
    Yeah! Tried it a couple of times… Trust me, it wasn’t a nice feeling… On the first occasion, had a client meeting and everyone was cringing their noses… And the second time, I freaked out two hot chicks in the car! πŸ˜€

    Keep them coming! πŸ˜€

  16. @Sandeep
    Yeah man! hehehe… πŸ˜€

    August 20th!! I shall be waiting! πŸ˜€
    Can you throw in a nice massage from an exotic woman? πŸ˜€

    hehehe… yeah, well… i like to savor it! πŸ˜€

    yay!! πŸ˜€

    hahahha! patience, my boy! patience! πŸ˜€

  17. LOL the 3rd is the same for me too… πŸ˜›
    And the 4th one, I guess all your readers know about it… πŸ˜‰

    Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that you look more like my college maths teacher..or may be, ditto…! I’ll show you his pic once…(or I’ll mail it to u)…I’m not sure, but seeing that pic on top, flashed me…

  18. I loved Pingu but somehow I didnt quite like Happy feet being an animation fan. 2nd …Mine is like each to his own taste. 4th Hmmmmm
    6th Sons!!!! God forbid 7th Now I can place where I have seen u earlier..I have been thinking so long!! U were on Independence Day right? 8 & 10 Ugh!

  19. @Reema
    hahahaha!! Yeah, i remember now… I became famous after that movie… πŸ˜€

    Good one! Hilarious! Yes, sir.. I’ll be careful! πŸ˜€

  20. @ xylene Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee! how gross! πŸ™‚

    And btw why did you post it here, i mean after niks told that he doen’t take bath on weekend? πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

  21. @Sakhi
    Xylene’s blog is called “Crapbook”.. So, I’m not surprised he posted the link here! πŸ˜€

    Way to go, man! Got any more? πŸ˜€

  22. btw..just wantd 2 chck if my pic will come or not..this comment is 4 tht..dnt publish this..hehehhehe

  23. 3. cool yaar, i love annoying others too….*hi 5*

    8. ewwwwww, but then again, who doesn’t? πŸ˜›

    10. well at least u bathe 5 days a week, at one point in my life, for 6 months or so, i bathed ONLY on weekends

    And congrats on meeting ms. charming

  24. @Balu
    yeah, so i’ve been told! hehehe… what to do, this is as dark as i can get… 😦

    hehehe… you’re weird! πŸ˜€

    thanks man! πŸ˜€
    And i have never tried that plan… bathing only on weekends… Hmmm.. you’re tempting me now! πŸ˜€

  25. You are so funny. Sometimes, I fart in front of people and walk away cuz they stink and noone knew it was me. I laugh on the inside.

  26. Eh!!! I hate you for hating Pingu… 😦
    And I knew abot your inner criminal instincts -see you poved me right burnt your daddy!! Ooohhh
    HAHAHAHAHAHAH and why against homos man-they have their own life…..I meet so many people like this and they’re perfectly normal…

  27. @Jesseybean
    You and I are cut from the same bark of the tree of life! πŸ˜€

    Well, I could tell you more positively if only you told me the kind of oddities you’ve been through! πŸ˜€

    hahaha!! No way! No way! πŸ˜€

    hehehe…. Lost Gem to some, Freaky abnormality to me! πŸ˜€

  28. @Fruity
    haha!! I don’t know… I just think homosexuality is weird! πŸ˜€
    And don’t hate me!! Please! πŸ˜€

    yes yes… she is s regular reader! πŸ˜€

    hehehe… got any more? πŸ˜€

  29. U actually feel happy after u fart ???…Man, I must admit, this is the frank-‘est’ post I have ever read. I was a silent reader of your blog all these while, but this one made me comment ! Happy farting buddy.

    PS : I wonder if this article of yours would get published in that blore daily !!!!

  30. @Vimal
    Welcome to MirrorCracked! πŸ˜€
    hehehe.. .I’m glad you decided to comment, instead of just remaining a passive reader… I dunno if they’ll publish this, man… too sensitive! πŸ˜€

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