No, I’m not that religious.

But of late, I would probably need divine intervention. People who are in the computer-hardware-retail industry should understand that some technocrats like myself need a constant supply of RAM chips and upgraded hard disks to stay happy and smiling. Few days ago, I decided to upgrade my piece-of-junk desktop and opened her up. After clearing away the dust and the cobwebs, I saw a couple of dead cockroaches among the wiring, a tiny label that read “Warranty ends June 1991” and two wrappers of an ancient bubble-gum called Big Babol! πŸ˜€

I overhauled the machine, giving it a shiny, new cabinet, spacious hard-drive, a reliable DVD writer and – the best of the lot – an Intel dual core processor. I was very happy. I was actually proud of my handiwork. I patted myself on the back, and switched the damn thing on. Three minutes into Vista’s “Welcome” screen, the piece-of-junk committed suicide. It chose to hang itself. πŸ˜€

I realized that it probably didn’t have enough memory (and this is perhaps the reason it forgot to stay alive!) went on a mission to find new RAM chips. I had little time on my hand, I was wearing a pair of dirty shorts and a tattered t-shirt, and it was 8 pm on a Saturday night. The cops were everywhere and they latched on to me like a pack of dogs. Their demands were threefold:


“Insurance documents!”

“Emission Test Certificate!”

I had none and I had to shell out quite a fat sum of money to get my bike back from those idiots. Finally, when I reached my trusty hardware store, they said they didn’t have the RAM I wanted and that I had to wait till Monday for someone to come and find it. I started wondering if God is playing a prank on me.

Even now, after returning home and sitting on this for some time, wondering, I look back on all the things that have happened to me in my life, and I ask God, “Why? Why me?”

He once replied, “Because I created you for a specific reason. You’re my yo-yo!” πŸ˜€

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

63 thoughts on “RAM, RAM!

  1. dude… of all the good things that are available, y did u go for vista? XP wud have run far far better… btw, i too am in need of RAM (DDR1)… present one is booting in 9 secs and shutting down in 7 secs flat. and if i get it, i’ll be a proud owner of a not-so-old comp which can beat my present one. πŸ™‚

  2. Awwwwwwwwww. You’re a Yo-YO now, Nikhil?
    He he.
    A Yo-YO, which gives really warm and fuzzy hugs??? πŸ™‚

    I just love the way you make us all smile, giggle and laugh.

  3. lol πŸ˜€ Ram woes r never ending !

    Btw i have an ancient desktop too ! when opened,the guy flatly declared ” this RAM is not even manufactured now madam πŸ˜› “

  4. YO YO….LOL, I really miss playing with them!!

    How I wish, you lived somewhere closer…I would have definitely used you as my proper techie yo yo..who turns my old monk comp into a new looked 18 yr old…!! I like people who can do all this very confidently…I reaaaaallly wannna learn…I can fix anything with the software..but get dammmmee scared to mess around with my comps hardware..and moreover I need a lot of tools for the same…!

    Anyways, working and researching on getting a new laptop now….any recommendations???

  5. @Nik – Bribe??????!!!! – nothing else you could do naa? πŸ™‚ What cap you planning to buy? 4gigs?

    @Megs – πŸ˜€ LOL! 1986 model?

    @deepsm25 – I would suggest HP or Dell and look out for deals!

  6. saturday nights are when the police are out for hunting. Yest I saw alteast 20 or more motorists been stopped by the police. Thankfully I too the bus. πŸ™‚

  7. RJ,

    Thanks. How about Acer?? And I am looking out for deals in return for a buyback…any particular models you have in mind?

  8. Dont worry buddy .. GOD’s delays are not his denials .. There might be somethng better in a box for you .. So GOD will open his cards at a right time.. Trust GOD and hv a faith in him.. Whatever happens, happens for a reason and happens for something good.. Ohh man ! I hv turned into a philosopher..

    **I had none and I had to shell out quite a fat sum of money to get my bike back from those idiots **

    Ahhh, I did not like this.. It was your fault that u did not hv license, PUC etc.. SO you are bound to get punished .. Now abusing the policemen wont lessen your fault….

  9. Dead cockroaches ? Eeewwww !!

    Is vistas good ? I mean, everyone said it sucked.

    You don’t have your License ?! Man, they’re right, you must be a pathetic guy on road. Aah well, you always bribe the cops huh.

    I can relate you to Joey so well Nikhil. Really. Keep going! Nice ending! ( As always. Need I mention that? )

  10. @Deepsm25 – My bros got a Acer – hes not too much impressed with it! I have a HP – works fine. Its been close to 1.5 yrs now. Give me your email id will send some recommendations!

  11. Ha ha vista why dude why?
    I upgraded to 1 GB (RAM) a while back and then bought a playstation for gaming.. otherwise I would have given u company upgrading!

  12. Your comp had character man! Now you’ve made it like any other! πŸ™‚ And as for why it happens to you? I have a reason…so you can blog and make us smile!!

  13. lol, Ooopss!! Was it rude to laugh at ur woes???

    Yo! Yo!?? Not a punching bag??? hehehe…

    God bless the soul of ur comp, hope he you are able to revive it soon πŸ™‚

  14. @Vishesh
    Lol.. Yeah, I think it was just a paperweight dressed up as a comp! πŸ˜€

    9-sec boot?? Oh, man! I would love to have that one! Mine boots in around 9 minutes!! πŸ˜€
    And I like Vista… XP is also good, but I somehow feel Vista is better.. πŸ˜€

    Hehehe… yeah, a yo-yo that hugs! Lol… πŸ˜€

    Hahaha!! Phew, at least I’m better off… They haven’t even HEARD of my old comp’s manufacturer!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Haha! Would love to help you out… Since you are a global citizen, make a stop in Bangalore once and I’ll give you the gyaan on comp hardware! πŸ˜€
    As for buying a laptop, I suggest Dell Vostro 1400..!! The best!! πŸ˜€

  15. @RJ
    hehe!! bribes here are an everyday affair… And i’m looking for 2 gig RAM… that’s enough for the desktop.. i’m not heavily into gaming, so this would suffice… πŸ˜€

    Lucky You!! πŸ˜€

    “GOD’s delays are not his denials”
    Lovely Line!! This is my status msg now!! πŸ˜€

    I have my license, but wasn’t carrying it then… And Joey?? Hmmm… Interesting! πŸ˜€
    I think Vista’s good… Better than XP in terms of features… Not many would share my opinion…

    Haha!! I like vista, man! It’s very good! πŸ˜€

    Hehehe! That’s another reason, I guess! πŸ˜€

    @ S
    Haha! Don’t worry, my woes are laughable! πŸ˜€ Please do… hehe… and thanks, i hope to upgrade soon, without incident! hehe…

  16. I know God uses Ubuntu, I sent him the dVd of Ubuntu 8.x last week by registered post.
    I still don’t understand why god is still bearing with a yo-yo who drinks a lot and has a nasty beard?

    I am back officially πŸ˜€


  17. πŸ™‚

    Came to ur space thru Reema’s πŸ™‚

    Why I came here…?
    to tell u honestly… d reason : ur sparkling shining teeths in ur profile pic πŸ˜‰

    Spare God with the technology… πŸ˜€

  18. Hey Thanks for dropping by from me as well πŸ™‚

    “hum kisi ka udhar nahi rakhte ” πŸ˜›

    Bakri ya taare??

    waise I think bakri ginana is easy then taare πŸ˜€

  19. @Suda
    Welcome back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    And my beard is NOT nasty!! πŸ˜›

    Taare ginne mein maza kya hai? Sab log karte hai! Be different, yaar!! πŸ˜€

  20. hey why the comp has to be “female”… i opened her, it seems! πŸ˜› πŸ™‚

  21. β€œWarranty ends June 1991β€³ Phew! How did you survive with that damn old crap! And F Vista and continue with XP coz Vista sucks big time..! Its just a piece of shit!
    Also, whats your config right now?

    And how much did you feed those hungry dogs? They’ll be waiting for someone who can shell out money. I seriously hate those….grr

  22. I have added you in my links… Glad to meet you, lovely boy! ^.^


  23. Interesting ?? He’s the BEST of all !! πŸ˜€

    The ‘Apparent’ post and your ‘Foodie’ post and all reminded me of this πŸ˜›

    Hey Btw, you have any idea how much I can get the friends dvds for at national market ? Like, for bargaining and all πŸ˜›

  24. @Chakoli
    Ketchup, eh? Yea that works too! Lol.. πŸ˜€

    If I had said “he” you’d have asked me why not “she”… πŸ˜›

    Config’s pretty decent man… dual core and stuff.. I got the RAM finally.. got a 2 gig RAM… works like a charm! πŸ˜€

    I’ve added you too! Glad to meet you too, lovely lady! πŸ˜€

    Haha! Thanks… I’ll be called Joey from now on, people! πŸ˜€
    And in national market, I just bought the 5-DVD collection of all 10 seasons at 60 bucks a DVD, total of 300 bucks! Lol… They’ll ask 80 bucks for it… Bargain it to 50-60… Bekaaadre maathadtheeni nan jote bandre… What say? πŸ˜€

  25. yo yo man……..it’s cool………
    These traffic guys really suck man……….but i never stop when signal to………

  26. @Chakoli
    You came here because of my TEETH..!! Hahaha!! I’m sorry, I missed that part when I was reading through the comments, and saw it just now… Hahaha!! I am flattered…! πŸ˜€

    haha… I try not to stop, but somehow they always manage to catch me! πŸ˜€

  27. and I thought I was the only person who kept asking “Why” ! (Referring to the recent post in my blog).

    And for Sakhis question, u shudve mentioned the PC as “it” πŸ™‚

  28. What did u exactly do
    changed the ram cpu cabinet dvd drive and hdd ?
    did u use the old mb ? else it should be called a proper upgrade
    instead of refurbishment or an overhaul.

    Winxp scores anytime over vista! but hey this is a democracy.

    DDR1 400/333 (rarely) is available in Mumbai – 3yr warrenty at lamington road – should be available at at blore too – but mostly from cos that assemble like Dynet.

  29. But buddy its an un-animated object and why not keep it as “it”… πŸ˜›

  30. @Smallstar
    Lol… And you’re ever more elusive! πŸ˜€

    Welcome to MirrorCracked! πŸ˜€
    And no, for me a computer is living, breathing, dumb person… My laptop is a sexy woman, and my desktop is gender-confused! πŸ˜€

    I upgraded the RAM, hdd and processor, gave it a new cabinet and bought a new UPS… And I went around the city searching for DDR2 Ram 2 gig and I found it finally, for a very reasonable price of 1800… πŸ˜€

    Does my response to Vimal answer your query? πŸ˜€

  31. @ nikhil…guess what, now I get the ‘context’. anything that is living(or rather existing), breathing and is dumb should be referred as she πŸ™‚

    btw, y welcoming me again, I’d already commented twice here; one even in that deleted controversial post of yours πŸ™‚

    @ poonam…i know, how can they call a sturdy looking car ‘she’; but do girls use similar ‘he’s’ ??

  32. @Poonam
    For me, a computer is loyal, sometimes frustrating, an expensive investment, and more often than not, I need to reinforce my love for her… So, that makes her the ideal woman for me! πŸ˜€

    Because I can’t see you anywhere here? 😦
    I tried to use UV goggles too, but in vain… Where are u?

    Thanks! will do!

    Oops.. I’m sorry, man! I suffer from Alzheimers, so please excuse me! πŸ˜€

  33. @ Vimal…* now I get the β€˜context’. anything that is living(or rather existing), breathing and is dumb should be referred as she *

    How can u say such a thing! πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    And calling our favourite thigs as “he”.. impossible! πŸ˜› πŸ˜› phbt….

    @ Niks… PHBTs…… πŸ˜›

  34. @ Nikhil : You are forgiven !!! Btw, I would appreciate if you could answer Poonams question to me here. and an oops for that too. πŸ™‚

    @ Poonam : We will wait for Nikhils answer.

    @ Sakhi : I deciphered that from Nikhils reply to my comment πŸ™‚ but I guess I am not wrong LOL. and ya, what on earth is PHBT ?

  35. @Smallstar
    Me neither! 😦

    I think Vimal’s referring to a slanderous post… I deleted that one… Felt that it did the job! πŸ˜€

    No, that’s not what I meant! I never said the word “dumb”…! You said it, I didn’t! πŸ˜€
    So, Phhbbbttttt!!!! πŸ˜›

    Haha!! You’re having fun, aren’t you? πŸ˜€

    Did I answer it right?
    And Phbbtttts are when you stick out your tongue at someone and make that slurpy, irritating, slobbery noise like Sylvester the Cat! πŸ˜€


    Thanks man! I am adding you too! πŸ˜€

  36. @ Vimal and niks

    a bigger phbts……… now that you know the meaning! πŸ˜›

  37. @Nikhil: ❓ mmmhh… Then we should make the point clear!!! I AM HERE, ALSO IF U DO NOT SEE ME! LOL LOL LOL

  38. @ nikhil : yes, it was that slanderous post. glad you gave that sylvester example. btw, i came in here to comment for the post u published today and now thats deleted too!!!

    @ sakhi : poor nikhil published his sad computer story and we are PHBT -ing each other πŸ˜€

    @ poonam : I thought I saw your comment for that slanderous post of nikhils.

  39. sad πŸ˜€ hehehehehehee….O poor you..I wondered why all such things happen to you! and now you’ve answered me YOYO…

    πŸ˜€ last week my office computer also behaved obnoxiously….it refused to auto recover two precious designing files I had created after two days of labor…I was furious and wrote a long email to section head….RESULT : RAM upgradation-its now 2 gb!

    πŸ˜€ hahahahahha – laughter of satisfaction…

  40. @Sakhi
    Hehehe! Thanks! I deserve it! πŸ˜€

    Are you invisible? πŸ˜€

    Hehehe! Trust me, you didn’t miss much.. It was a stupid post anyway… πŸ˜€

    Look more closely!!! πŸ˜€

    hehehe… its frustrating with autosave doesn’t work! πŸ˜€
    I’ve gone thro that… So bloody frustrating! and wow, u got a 2-gig RAM now! yaaay!! πŸ˜€

  41. Heheheheheh … you’re my yo-yo !! πŸ˜€ that was funny …
    well , i’ve had my share of such experiences..
    Once, there was dis frnd of mine who had an MSI motherboard … it was out of warranty when somethin went wrong wid it, one of my frnds uncle’s owns a cyber, and she said we could just switch one of those motherboards with ours and no one wud knw since her uncle was out of town for 8 days, n the cyber wasn’t open then.. we went inside, locked the shutter down, did all the dirty work, got the PC workin.. and just when we were about to close the cabinets, some workers walked in to clean the place… they figured out what we were doin n asked us to put it bak rite away!! at d end of da day, we had to buy a new one … we’re cursin our bad luck since then..
    so did u finally get the RAM?
    try installin XP .. Vista gives a lot of problems..
    //After clearing away the dust and the cobwebs, I saw a couple of dead cockroaches among the wiring, a tiny label that read β€œWarranty ends June 1991β€³ and two wrappers of an ancient bubble-gum called Big Babol!// u were livin in da stone age? i dun even think we get big babol anymore πŸ˜€
    And yeah, mumbai cops (Pandus) are no good too … !!!
    Funny post.. keep writin .. take care .. byeeeeeeeee

  42. hey my frnd calld he tooo faced da same prob while installin vista it hanged.. i dun think its ur RAM.. dun install vista .. xp is anytime better

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