It’s been nice knowing you for so long. Really, when you stumbled upon my blog a month ago, I never realized we would be forging such a strong bond of indifference. With all that’s been happening in my life right now – work tensions, women, money issues, women, health issues, women, etc – I really think that I can do without your incessant stupidity.
You remind me of an ancient monkey-like creature that has been dead for a million years; it died because it mistook professional courtesy for unconditional love. Of course, since I haven’t even met you, I don’t know whether you actually look like the stupid monkey-like creature, but I’d put my money on it.
You are sexually insecure and your parents hate you. You were a mistake to begin with. You were the result of one night’s heavy drinking nine months before you were born. Your parents are ashamed of you, aren’t they? That’s why they named you like that. You are ashamed of your lineage, and you can’t do anything about it, except roam around the blogosphere harassing people when you could do something useful like kill yourself.
All said and done, my dear dear Asshole, I still like you. I like you a lot, because the world needs people like you. Where else will the scientific community get human specimens for experimental trials? Where else will car manufacturers get dummies for their crash tests? The world would have a boring place without you, my friend.
My dear Asshole, I salute you with a lot of feeling, but I am sorry that you can’t see which finger I’m holding up. Go rot in hell.
Disclaimer: Asshole is real. He is an Asshole. He is an ancient monkey-like creature. Maybe someday, when he kills himself, I’ll throw a grand party where I’ll reveal his name, Till then, let’s play the guessing game. 😀