Oh My God!


I am terrified! I am in mortal fear of my sanity! I don’t know what to do! I am freaking out! I need professional help! I am losing my mind! Aaaaargh!

Okay, sorry for that. I am being a little melodramatic, but my life’s become so full of shit right now that I am not able to squeeze in the time to blog! I am such an idiot when it comes to time management! Anyway, I have made up my mind now – I am going to blog every day, come what may! I don’t care if I miss appointments; I don’t care if I piss clients off; I don’t care if I get a low performance rating; I don’t care if I miss my flight/train/bus – it’s one post a day or I’m a retarded monkey. And I know I’m not a retarded monkey.

Also, I have this sneaking feeling that I have Alzheimers’. My mom’s dad had it and there’s a good chance I do too. Every time my finger or my eye twitches, my heart skips a beat. So, in all probablility, I am going to lose my mental acuity and my control over my muscular movements. I will wither away and mumble to myself and breathe my last. So, it’s better I blog everyday because I don’t wanna wither away with regrets.

Fuck excuses. I give you all permission to shoot me on sight if I don’t visit your blog regularly and comment. Go ahead. Bullets are cheap. Someone tried to stone me to death with popcorn the other day, so I am guessing bullets are more effective.

Okay, I’ll stop talking nonsense. ๐Ÿ˜€

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

54 thoughts on “Oh My God!

  1. Whoever says my macha is retarded monkey will be shot right in the middle of eyes by my special task force!!
    HAHHAAH…I am feeling all of us are suffering from this terrible block..the year end is keeping us on our toes!
    Suda, me, you,sakhi,reema- everyone’s bitten by the bug!
    But kudoz to you for not fearing low KPIs and pissed clients……But what about the crazy nights when you meet great looking girls !! you are in so much awe of them- I am sure why you haven’t mentioned this condition as well.
    So if you’re really dedicated- add this clause too!

    HAHA…I am wicked…
    P.S- thrilled to post the first comment…guess what-lost vibes are now found!!
    fruity ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. @Machiiiiiii
    Thanks!!! Yeah! I know!!! the vibes are back! ๐Ÿ˜€
    And as for the girls, well, you know I can’t ignore them! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Hehehe! I hope the next year will be better.. ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. @Smita
    Sure! When do you wanna do it? ๐Ÿ˜€
    I’m free this weekend!

    Hehehe! Yeah, I spoke to her last night, and meeting her tonight… Is she a good shot? ๐Ÿ˜€

  4. Hey there, found your post listed under ‘humour’. Thanks to the promises you’ve made, while you manage to hang on to your sanity, am sending you my blog address – newly started and do have a look. If this reeks of desperation, so what! : )

  5. @AnnoyMously
    Welcome to MirrorCracked! ๐Ÿ˜€
    I’ll sure drop in to your space… ๐Ÿ™‚

    Welcome back!!!!!!! Thank You!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  6. @Annoy
    Hehe! I’ll do my best! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Yup, I’m a decent guy… sometimes… ๐Ÿ˜€

    Hahaha! That’s ok… Keep your gun ready… I’ll be back soon! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Thanks macha! ๐Ÿ˜€
    I’ll do my best to keep you entertained… Er… I mean that in a non-pervert way! ๐Ÿ˜€

  7. @Vishesh
    Are you sure? I won’t throw up, no? ๐Ÿ˜€

    @Shoe Girl
    Haha! Let’s see who’s right a few years from now – Shoe Girl or Retarded Monkey! ๐Ÿ˜€

  8. RAT-A-TAT-A-TAT! Thats me using an AK 47! some stabbing with dagger too for good measure. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr….What about napalm?

    @Mahak Sweetie if you would see my blog, I m still posting 3 posts a week as usual ๐Ÿ™‚ I m not suffering from block but from comment recession.

  9. @Reema
    How dare you throw generous dollops of sarcasm at my Fruity!! Grrr..!! Your bullets have no effect on me! I am Superman! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Machii!! Let’s unite in this fight against this sarcastic girl!!

  10. @Nikhil
    You put me in Dharmsankat here… I can’t go against Reema (fear factor) and I will never dream anything against Mahak (no factor!!! ๐Ÿ˜€ )… yes… I can do one thing as usual….. shoot-kick-throw-tear-dishum-dishum you ๐Ÿ˜€ Ok this time I am throwing you, as you are superman today, you can return later.

  11. sarcasm and me?/ why do u always take me otherwise? Hmm sawaan ke andhe ko sab kuch hara hi nazar aata hai.
    Anyway I was merely correcting Mahak that I’m not bitten by the bug of block yet.

  12. @ Niks

    Welcome back and dont worry about the guns and bullets!! pointing one at you will also point three fingers (not the nozzel of the gun of course!! ๐Ÿ˜› ) at me!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    @ Fruity

    ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. @Suda
    Hahahahahaha!!!!! Fear Factor! I like that!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Hehehehehehe!!! And you always take me seriously! Hmm sawaan ke andhe ko sab kuch hara hi nazar aata hai… ๐Ÿ˜€

    Hahahahaaha!!!! Good one! ๐Ÿ˜€

  14. I have a strong feeling that blogging is a prevention for alzeimers! seriously! ๐Ÿ™‚ It keeps one mind active and one’s fingers moving! So blog on!

  15. lol!!! I never realised that life at work could be as crappy as 12th!! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Mayb I’ll just drop out of skool, go to some remote country n live off the state’s unemployment allowance… ๐Ÿ˜›

  16. Dude “itโ€™s one post a day or Iโ€™m a retarded monkey” noted ๐Ÿ™‚ …………………. Now in my bad hindi. “Yeh duniya ek mayajal hai, jobs ka kaya hai ek ayega to dursra jayage, boss to hamesh hamari marega ” LOL

  17. @Nita
    Haha! Yeah! Of course it is! I was only kidding! I think the twitch is a reminder for me to blog often! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Hehe! Hang in there, it’s not that bad! ๐Ÿ™‚
    But if you decide to run away, then go to Gokarna! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Hehe! My Hindi’s worse than yours, so I didn’t understand a word! ๐Ÿ˜€

  18. Lemme check my appointment book…:D

    But on a serious note….blog everyday because we all here enjoy your post’s ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. mmmmmmmmh…….

    Are You Ok? To read this post I guess the answer could be negative… ๐Ÿ™„

    ahahah I am joking, of course! :mrgreen: but I am sorry if the words in this ur post are really true… If they are, can I help you? ๐Ÿ™‚

  20. Alzheimer ? Is that another joke ? I guess it remains as a joke.

    Let’s see if you can post daily :p And where is Hairy Puttar, that was awesome sh!te, am still waiting for next release.

    “sawaan ke andhe ko sab kuch hara hi nazar aata hai” – lol…dunno if its muhawarey or lokoktiya but sure understood the meaning ๐Ÿ˜€

  21. You were too busy to blog :O ! How could you do that :O . . .But don’t you worry . Even if you do get Alzheimers’ , I am sure all those mumbling will be blogged , (u could hire a pretty assistant to do the blogging or sth :P)

  22. @Arvind
    Haha! Thanks! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Have I ever been serious on my blog?? ๐Ÿ˜€

    @ T
    Hehehe! Of course it’s a joke, dude! ๐Ÿ˜€
    Hairy Potter is next! ๐Ÿ˜€

    LOL… That’s an idea! ๐Ÿ˜€

  23. If you are still not dead after being hit by all those bullets, let me know. I’ll send you the music CD of Karzzzz. ๐Ÿ˜€

  24. With your kind permission …. I pull the Trigger ….. BooM

    Let’s not take chances!….here goes the 2nd one BOOM

  25. Wow! A post daily on MC..COol
    BTW, it will be great to see someone with poor time management come up with one post daily… Discipline, what an unattainable virtue! ๐Ÿ™‚

  26. sometimes it helps to just go with the flow and not make everything a compulsion ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve learned it the hard way.

  27. @Amit
    Haha! I’m alive, unfortunately! Send the CD across… ๐Ÿ˜€

    Amir Khan?? Oh my god!! Noooo!!! He’s gay!! I’m not! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Thanks so much!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Hehehe! Yup! Let’s see! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Hehe! It’s not a compulsion… It’s a commitment! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Kidding! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Hehe! I’ll meet her this weekend… ๐Ÿ™‚

  28. The Picture in this post is sooo you….Woow…! You getting really old Pal and that also fast.. ๐Ÿ™‚ Don’t worry, what are friends for….always to kill ๐Ÿ™‚

  29. Dude, just relax and take a deep breath. Don’t pressure yourself into blogging. Just blog when you feel like and whatever frequency is comfortable with you. If you want to remind yourself to blog, just tatoo it on your hands like Aamir khan in Ghajini ๐Ÿ™‚

  30. @ Nita

    Blogging or any kind of work that keeps the brain agile and active is not a prevention for Alzheimer’s. However in such people, cognitive decline is difficult to assess as their brains have learnt a way to keep functioning even when some faculties start to decline. This means that by the time such smart people’s Alzheimer’s is detected, they are far more advanced than others, whose illness may be detected sooner. This was an explanation advanced when research found a correlation between having advanced education and having a low probability of Alzheimer’s.

    Such is life. A British actor – can’t remember who it was but definitely someone old school – recently said (approx): being famous is like having Alzheimer’s; everyone knows you but you have no bloody idea who they are. ๐Ÿ™‚

  31. Dude, forget Alzheimer’s, do the post a day for this month, and am telling ya, you’d be this short of crossing the line into insanity, which I am told is a much better place than the big A ๐Ÿ˜›

    I did it for October. I think am ok. You are safe if you want to try ๐Ÿ™‚

  32. @ Reema – sorry….I meant earlier there wasa phase when you were away for a few days!! Not now….
    @ Nikhil – Thanks for saving me from Reema’s qahar
    @ Sakhi – Lolz
    @ Suda – No factor -hmmmmmmm…now you don’t know how eagerly I am waiting for that Confessions part 2!

  33. @ Nita:

    I think it is a serious matter. In the UK, assisted suicide and euthanasia are not legal which is a very unpopular policy stance. Alzheimer’s is a situation that many otherwise bright people wouldn’t want themselves to be in. Ergo, serious situation. :-/

    In all other situations, I do have wry remarks on the ready ๐Ÿ™‚

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