Indian Conspiracy Theories


Blog-hopping got me to Keboch’s absurdly hilarious post on Conspiracy Theories here. Which got me thinking. I live in a country rife with political chaos, and every turn gives me to newer and better ideas to ponder on. So, I thought a complete compilation of possible “would-be” and “could-be” scenarios was needed, something that isn’t even there on Wikipedia!

Here I go, building conspiracy theories:

  1. Indian car manufacturers did not include air-bags for so long because the steering wheel had cocaine in them.

  2. The Indian cricket team intentionally loses a match every now and then in order to avoid being struck by the “evil eye.” (In fact, superstition runs so deep in the Indian cricket team that the job application for becoming a national cricketer has a question, “Did a black cat cross in front of you while climbing the stairs of this office?”)

  3. The highly successful Bollywood song – Kabhi Kabhi Aditi – when played backwards, reveals the plans for a top-secret mission in which Indian troops are planning to invade Kenya.

  4. Happydent chewing gum was invented by ISRO, the Indian Space Research Organization –Β  as an alternative to electric lights on board Chandrayaan.

  5. Vaseline contains 90% alcohol.

  6. CNN IBN was sued by Ronald McDonald’s creator for calling him “The McDonald Duck,” but the lawsuit was never filed. It was settled out of court after Rajdeep Sardesai decided to write a whole blog post apologizing for the misnomer.

  7. Asprin, when it was first made available in India, was so named because of it’s powerful enema actions. The extra ‘s’ was dropped because it became apparent that people were using it from the wrong end.

  8. The Indian currency, especially the 500-rupee note, is made from super-strength alloyed cotton, which has surprising paper-like qualities.

  9. An Indian blogger named Nikhil, who blogs here, is an undercover agent for the Indian secret service. He is conspiring to ask a hot chick out on a date.

  10. Shah Rukh Khan is, in fact, an ugly woman.

There may be a lot of other such conspiracy theories going around. So, let me know if I’ve missed anything juicy. We live in a scary world, don’t we? πŸ˜€

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

42 thoughts on “Indian Conspiracy Theories

  1. Rahul Dravid played badly against Australia because he wanted to become that black dot that mother’s put on their kid’s cheeks to ward of all the evil πŸ™‚

    Asspirin – LOL πŸ˜€

  2. Indian Politicians are not really corrupt. They are eating away our money, stacking it and will suddenly take it out to save the world out of recession πŸ˜€

    4th ROFL
    10th Totally agree πŸ˜‰
    9th Is it so??? πŸ˜€

  3. @Vishesh
    Hehehe! Yeah! And 6-pack, you mean? Abs or beer? πŸ˜€

    @Mojo Jojo
    Pepsi? That’s another conspiracy, dude! You don’t wanna get into it, trust me! πŸ˜€

    LOL… all the best! πŸ˜‰

    Do you realize that this is the only page on the internet that has the words Wikipedia and Nikipedia?? πŸ˜€

    Haha! πŸ˜€

    Hahahahaaha!!! Optimist, you are! πŸ˜€

    LOL… Yeah, man! πŸ˜€

    Bah! Looks who’s talking! πŸ˜›

    Vishesh’s mom thinks I’m a terrorist?? Holy Fart..!!

    Hehe! Yeah!! πŸ˜€

    Who doesn’t think I’m a terrorist, raise your hands!! πŸ˜€

  4. πŸ™„

    So many people thing that you are a terrorist!! πŸ˜›

    BTW i feel the last theory might actually be true… no, i think it IS true!! πŸ˜€

  5. Looks like someone has way too much free time.. mind if i borrow some…. :d

    damn, i always knew that u were psycho n SRk was a woman… now its proved!!! πŸ˜€

  6. Haha! ROFL!
    One more, WWE’s Undertaker is a dead man, who comes from his grave to fight, and lady wrestler Chyna is a man! πŸ˜›

  7. 2nd one was the funniest !!! I showed that to my colleagues here and even they were ROFL.

    and I personally like the 3rd one too.

    like everyone else, even I find the 10th one true. Karan Johar is not gay and is attracted to her (SRK) ; he is, perhaps, the only person who knows the truth.

  8. //Shah Rukh Khan is, in fact, an ugly woman//
    ROFL!!! I agree!! no wonder they asked him i mean her 2 coach the women’s hockey team!!

  9. There is a secret underground lab below India Gate where the Alien ship which landed there in 1950 is kept. All the people who saw that event vanished in one day!

  10. I am an illegal alien whose family landed here a hundred years back. And then I started a blog to blend in to the people. πŸ˜€

  11. ha ha ha these are cool ones and i enjoyed reading all 35 of them. here’s my addition to the theories…..The real Amitabh Batchan is a fake. He is really, really a farmer from UP, who is in disguise and seeking revenge against the Thackerays :D.

  12. @Sakhi
    Aw, come on! Don’t be so mean!

    LOL..!!! Whoa! That’s brilliant!

    @Shoe Girl
    Hehe! That’s our little secret! πŸ˜‰

    Welcome to MirrorCracked!

    Sure, please take away my free time!
    I am NOT psyched! πŸ˜›

    Thanks man!

    Hmmm… Interesting!

    Hehe! Trust me, you don’t..!

    Haha! Why does everyone think that??

    @Dinesh Babu
    Hehehe! Yup!
    And whoa, that’s a good one!

    Hehehe! We’ll restrict ourselves to Indian shores, ok? πŸ˜€

    Deja vu? πŸ˜€

    Hehehehehehe!!! True! Karan Johar is bi-curious, according to some magazine!

    LOL… Yeah! Vaseline, on the rocks! πŸ˜€

    Hhahahaa!! Yeah!!

    Oh yeah! I remember forgetting something like that!

    Hehehe! What’s with so many aliens in India??

    Not yet happened!

    @Just Call Me ‘A’
    Welcome to MirrorCracked! πŸ˜€
    I did not get into the dirty politics of the country for obvious reasons!

  13. @Nikhil: I couldn’t know why, but if everyone thinks that, there could be a reason, don’t u think?? LOL

  14. Don’t ask. They are still watching us. Anyone who tries to get closer to us vanishes mysteriously. [Looks on innocently]. πŸ˜€

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