If I Were A Video Game…

  1. I’d be called “Yo-yo: God Strikes Back!”

  2. The first release of the game would have included villains like The Malevolent Nightmare from the Isolated Earth” and “Kitten-Obliterating Ravager of Yuckiness.”

  3. I’d be constantly on God Mode.

  4. Cheat codes would include, “Call Her Tomorrow”, “Don’t take her phone calls”, “Ditch every third girl”, “Men are pigs”, “Beer breakfast”, “Weed cake”, “Nirvana”, “Forgive and Regret” and most importantly, “Fuckhead.”

  5. Playstation 3 would feature a multi-player version of me, where one of the players has to be a woman and has to be cute, compulsorily. (Players will have to undergo a genetic test before playing.)

  6. MirrorCracked would feature a complete ‘walkthro’ of the game, to allow followers of the game to literally, walk in my shoes.

  7. The X-box 360 version will have horny sexy cheerleaders popping up every three minutes and doing what they do best.

  8. I would overtake Counter Strike as the most popular game on the planet, and due to the sex and violence involved, China would ban the game.

  9. Hollywood would make a movie based on the game, featuring Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Angelina ‘The Dumb’ Jolie.

  10. I wouldn’t be blogging, since I’d be a frikkin video game.

Enough nonsense. Time to get back to my personalized version of Road Rash, where I’m the only guy on a bike chasing lungi-clad Indian politicians (Level 1) and horny sexy scantily-clad cheerleaders (Level 2).

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

26 thoughts on “If I Were A Video Game…

  1. Now I know why gamers and hackers are the only people who can take over the world !

    Damn I could game like b4 now also.. I dont even know wat those games in Pt2 are… Anyways.. i stil have my GBA and SNES emulator on my E6 😛

    So Im planning to get a PSP.. obviously cant live without cracking and modding it.. they talk about 3000 2000 etc.. can u help me dude ?

  2. Fine a lil catch up..Okay as usual,, stuck up in the god-damn coursework, now to add more miseries.. semester exams,,, as i mentioned u early, do fight for academically abused kids… Saw the blog fully changed… Mirror cracked changed intro, new template… dude whats happening, hope the mirror is still cracked,,,,
    I cam imagine u chasing lungi-clad Indian politicians…

  3. If I were to be in any Video game, I would like to be inside GTA Vice City 🙂

    Your second level of personalized road rash is not bad either 😀

  4. u must have included another rule that the cute girl playing the game should be single………….then i would be the first person to buy ur game…………

  5. Ah, you wouldn’t be blogging because “you’d be a frikkin’ video game.”
    Now, we can’t have that, can we?

  6. @ T
    Hehe! PC Version?? I’d keep hanging! 😀

    Haha! I’ll send you the link for the pirated version! 🙂

    Hehe! Welcome back! LOL… 😀
    Mirror’s still cracked, dude. Don’t worry. Just time fow a new look, that’s all! 🙂

    Ah, vice city! Nice!! 😀

    Hehehehe!! Sure, there’s that option as well! 😀

    @Mojo Jojo
    LOL… Yeah! 😀

    Welcome to MirrorCracked! 😀
    Thanks a lot! 🙂

  7. U secretly want to be a game so someone can ” play” you!!! hahaha

    Hey totally caught up with work…will surely catch up on weekend if i am still alive

  8. lol ,Its at times like these I thank God that the world is the way it is . .Earth is not flat and u aren’t a video game 🙂

    If i were a video game I would be on choco land (the game would be to find all the chocolates and eat them)- I can eat all the chocolates I want , and never grow fat

  9. And the game would be banned in India too.
    I liked the game where you chase lungi clad politicians. Can I be your partner in the (crime) game?

  10. ha ha ha….!!! i love your cheat codes…i do the same with all the men that i meet…

    kudos!!! ur blog rocks…!!! 😀

  11. Ha ha..this is one game i am sure..i would have excelled..just keep feeding u with Egg curry n Jeera Rice virtually..thats it..i would never lose a game:)

  12. @Chakoli
    Hehehe! 😀

    @Show Girl
    Hope you’re alive! And yeah, I can be ‘played’..! 😀

    HEhehe! ‘Absolut’ truth! 😀

    Ah, the chocolate game! We could play each other, then! 😀

    You should try your hand! It’s fun! 😀

    Hehe! Thanks macha! 😀

    LOL.. 😛

    Hehe! Sure thing! We could be gaming buddies! 😀

    Hehehe! Thanks! 😀

    Welcome to MirrorCracked! 😀
    Where’s your blog URL? I wanna read your blog too! 😀

    Heheheheehe!! You know me well! 😉

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