NewsCracked! :)


Ladies and gentlemen,

Welcome to the BNN ICN 9 o’ clock news! Today’s breaking stories:

1. Big Sobb Season 2 ends in dramatic fanfare!

2. Akshay Kumar wears pants inside-out!

3. Madhuri Dixit misses a gray hair while combing!

4. IT company employee sneezes!

5. Aviation minister is high. Literally.

… and other important, earth-shattering, life-changing news stories! Only on BNN ICN. Stay tuned!

For God’s sake, give me a break! Some punk winning a reality TV show is prime time news? To be aired again and again? To be repeated in nauseating detail? To call up that punk’s uncle over the phone and talk to him on National TV?

I thought these news channels were a bit sane. Apparently not. Absurdly enough, this piece of ridiculous ‘news’ was aired right after a brilliant coverage of the Hindustan Times Leadership Summit. Talk about losing the plot. πŸ˜€

I should start my own news channel, and air only news that I think is important or worth airing. I wonder how long that channel will take to become famous. I’d call it ‘NewsCracked’… πŸ˜€

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

30 thoughts on “NewsCracked! :)

  1. even i was in idea that these news channels are a bit sane….but i guess, its the rat race finally….a few sane channels cannot possibly survive staying sane πŸ˜› … competition boss dats wat they say!!

  2. I started Bakwaas Khabar. It was great fun writing it. I couldn’t sustain it: needs time and brain-power! Before you start, think about the new girl in your life: if you want to retain her, don’t start this! Of course, if you ever feel like the reverse, start, get set, go!

  3. @La Vida Loca
    Yeah! Pretty pathetic…

    Hehe! Yeah! Competition, boss. We should start a reality TV show for news channels! πŸ˜€

    Haha! He probably was gonna suck the damn thing! πŸ˜€

    Heehehehe!! Thanks for the advice… I think my girl wouldn’t mind it! She’d probably help me with it! πŸ˜€

  4. All news channels suck nowadays except NDTV 24×7 and 9x. Hope NewsCracked will change the future of news channels forever! πŸ˜›

  5. thats precisely the reason why i have stopped watching news channels…its as if they want you learn the news by heart by flashing the same crappy stuff again and again…

  6. dude… let me know when u start this channel… πŸ˜› i’ll get to see the big bad world with a lighter vein… πŸ˜€

  7. Will tune into Newscracked! I was bugged seeing that particular news bit in not just that but in another news channel too!! Oh boy! how lame!!

  8. Please do start your channel…I promise I’ll be a regular and loya viewer. Am sick of the present lot news channels.

    I find NDTV to be the only sane one here…rest all are in a competition to outbid eachother in insanity….

  9. You won’t believe the kind of news they cover here in the US sometimes. If something is popular, they just go over it again and again until you choke and beg for life. They just react to TRP ratings instead of the old term called ethics. I would welcome Newscracked. You can make it like Saturday night live, it will be fun.

  10. You missed a news there.
    SRK uses Oprah Winfrey’s toilet paper in Dubai πŸ˜€

    Watching news channels is a waste of time

  11. Waste of time…
    Just reminded of Mark twain.. if you dont read newspapers, you will be uninformed, if you read newspapers you will be mis-informed..

    Please do start Nikhil… it will be break…

  12. latest Braking News – The runner up in Big Boss got drunk and was seen abusing the winner and saying that it was He who deserved to win. Sigh!! 😐

  13. @Reema
    Hehe! It sure will! Just wait for it! πŸ™‚


    Good idea! Hey, wait a minute! Isn’t that precisely what I’ve written about? πŸ˜›

    Welcome to MirrorCracked!
    Hehe! Yeah! I prefer reading my news online! πŸ™‚

    Haha! Sure thing, man!

    Yeah man! So very disgusting!

    Hehe! Drama is right!


    Hahahaahahaha!!! Good one!

    Hehe! That’s the idea! A 24/7 nonsense channel!

    Hehe! Yeah!

    Haha! Thanks!
    For all the loyal viewers, we give away free beer!

    Hehe! Yeah!

    Yeah man! TRP is like weed out there!


    More smileys! Why am I not surprised!


    Haha! Sure thing, macha!

    Phew, finally your comment has appearing!
    Thanks for the subscription! Free beer, coming your way!

    Hehe! Mark Twain was so right!


    Hehe! I hope so!

    Not really, dude. Its happening the world over!

  14. […]Aa-shoe-toast
    I yam deelighted to ween the corntest. I face taff competisan from many odours, but I come out strawng. Aafter weening Roadies, I waas alreddy the Roadside Romeo of all kyuut girls and I dezerve to ween Ms. Slutty’s Pigg’s Boss.

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