The Hazards Of A Public Relations Occupation

funny_choking_hazardAnd I thought working in a coal mine in Siberia was dangerous. Public Relations is a field which only the brave pursue and only those with a casual disregard for personal safety excel in.

When I signed on for a career in Public Relations, I knew it would involve daily death threats from irate clients and journalists (For example, there’s this homosexual client called Mr. B, who’s sleeping with the bisexual editor of a popular national newspaper and I’m not supposed to tell this out to anyone), but I didn’t expect bodily harm.

Yesterday was a gloomy Tuesday, with dark clouds threatening to douse the city and a cold wind that seemed never-ending. I arrived a bit late than usual, courtesy dirty traffic and a full bladder, and went about my work with the right mix of boredom and enthusiasm. It was somewhere around two in the afternoon when I realized just how dangerous my line of work is.

I was sitting at my desk, reading an online news release, when I dropped my pen on the floor. As I bent to pick it up, the chair I was sitting on creaked a bit. I didn’t give it much thought as it always creaked. Just as my fingertips touched the floor, I heard a deafening crack and the damn chair snapped in three! I fell down on the floor quite awkwardly, with a heavy thud. The entire office was silent and I lay there, dazed, wondering what in the hell happened.

Slowly, people realized something was wrong and crowded around my cubicle and helped me to my feet and made me stretch just to make sure that nothing was broken. More than embarrassment, I was angry at a friend of mine was suggesting a diet which clearly wasn’t working! 😀

I realized a bit later that I had cut my thumb quite deeply during the fall, I don’t know how that happened, and that my butt ached painfully all through the day. That I am accident prone is an understatement.

The Remnants Of The Disaster
The Remnants
The Cut
The Cut

I wanted to name this post “Return Of The Yo-Yo,” because my bike ran out of fuel on my way back and I had to push it for half an hour bearing the paining butt, and then stopped for another half an hour waiting for my friend to come and rescue me with some petrol, and during that wait, I almost ate a dirty omlette on the street and refrained after seeing the ‘cook’ scratch his butt and his armpits and wipe his hands on a dirty lungi, but I thought the current title would be ample proof for people who want a career in Public Relations to think twice and thrice before embarking on the most dangerous job in the world.

PS: That was the longest sentence I’ve ever written! 😀

PPS: The ‘B’ in Mr. B, obviously, stands for ‘Bastard’. 😀

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

23 thoughts on “The Hazards Of A Public Relations Occupation

  1. see you got brama angry.He was eating and you took photos of him as if it were a wedding! Now you become his yo-yo again! So now go and thank him by standing the rain for 5 hours 🙂 Or quit smoking for a week!

  2. Ha ha ah !! ..

    How the hell breaking of ur chair has to do with your public relations job?? .. I cant get any links ..

    By the way, u truly are GOD’s yo-yo .. Were you hitler in ur last birth that all the sins u hv accumulated in ur last birth and u paying the price in this birth ?? .. I’m quite skeptical about it ..

    I hope ur thumb is fine and it’s ready to finger ur enemies .. (No puns intended !!) ..

    Thums UP macha !!

  3. You had better take these incidents seriously – obviously Mr. B got to your chair and sawed it half-way through. (It had nothing to do with that diet!)

    And then some irate journalist drained your bike of fuel….

    They’re out to get you. You need a safer job – like a reptile-handler, for example!


    Quirky Indian

  4. This so damn hilarious Nikhil…………I was like wondering for a second where did that THUD noise come from, untill I turned around and saw u……..Hope your little finger gets healed qucikly 🙂

  5. Bisexual editor of a popular national newspaper sound like a title, don’t share the name just tell the Magazine name. About falling down, was the chair insured or its coming in your salary LOL 🙂

  6. @Vishesh
    LOL… yeah! I better ask for forgiveness! 😀

    Hehehe! It just goes to show how dangerous certain professions are! 😀

    @Quirky Indian
    Hehe! I think so! 😀
    Mr. B is such a bastard! 😀

    Welcome to MirrorCracked! 😀
    It was my thumb and not my little finger! 😛

    Hahahaha!! I think it was insured! I don’t know! I’m claiming emotional damages! 😀

  7. First hope ur thumb and butt are ok
    2nd Join gym or maybe VLCC?
    3rd There is a petrol indicator in bikes. Use it. U must be having some idea that once it has come in reserve how far it will go.
    4th Does the image signify your line of work?

  8. heh, breaking a chair into not 2 but 3 pieces is indeed an accomplishment. Your day sure sounds painful.
    Some days are just not worth venturing out of bed no? 😛

  9. Trust you to sensationalise what happened! No wonder you are in whatever field you are in.
    Quirky Indian: Reptile handler? That enough you think?!
    Reema: Good one…Nikhil must have probably been drunk/drugged (to dull the pain might be a reason) or dreamy eyed thinking about his love. Hence he must not have noticed the fuel indicator…right Nikhil?!

  10. Nice. 😀 Did you really push your bike that far? 😀 I am amazed. This could happen to just about anyone. Not necessarily a public relations guy. 😛

  11. Yeah!! hilarious read !!! Hmmm! I wonder often when i read your dairies of discomfort! Quite true at least in your case Nikhil… Misfortunes never come single.. But i don’t get connection to the editor story and the dangerous connection you made…

  12. lol……. So at last the chair vented its anger on you :P….. Join VLCC man… before ur office fires you for breaking all the chairs .. hehe… nice read though!

  13. Nikhil, I have tagged you for something, you may not know. Well, its entirely up to you whether the tag inspires you but as you seem to like women, I thought it would be interesting to hear what you have to say.

  14. LOL at the image …
    i thought the image was about the pic 😛
    anyways i agree that u are the god’s yo yo 😛
    hope ur butt is ok now 😛

  15. hehe…
    Here is what I can make of it.
    Since being a PR man is a boring job, you look out for scandals. And people should know that the PR guy has got inside scoops which he will not speak about. And yes, the working conditions are poor so breaking chairs is a routine. Above all, you do notice the fuel guage, it is just that you are broke in the last days of the month, which means a salary can hardly take PR people to the 20th of the month.
    get well soon.

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