My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. The job was only so-so anyhow. Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it. I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t note worthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience. When I finally got a patient, he woke up in the hospital and screamed, “Doctor, I can’t feel my leg! Help!” to which, I replied, “I know! I’ve cut off your arms!”
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried, but I just didn’t fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income. I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.
And after reading this post, you’re probably going to experience Deja Moo – the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. 😀
A good pun is its own reword.