My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. The job was only so-so anyhow. Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it. I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t note worthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience. When I finally got a patient, he woke up in the hospital and screamed, “Doctor, I can’t feel my leg! Help!” to which, I replied, “I know! I’ve cut off your arms!”
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried, but I just didn’t fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income. I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.
And after reading this post, you’re probably going to experience Deja Moo – the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. 😀
A good pun is its own reword.
“Congratulations you have one, it’s a year’s subscription of bad puns” that I want…
In quotes: Words of ‘Kurt Cobain’…
but seriously u did some on on ur feet thinkin for this I guess… but m just guessing… 😛
nonsense!
Good one.. well put together 😀
@Hope
Curt Kobain was no gentleman! 😀
And no, most of these puns are outsourced… 😀
@Vishesh
Yeah, it is! 😛
@Vijay
Hehe! Yeah, thanks! 😀
That was really awesome !! ..
Loved it to the core, Macha !!
and then u became a Public relation officer with which you just cant relate urself .. 😉 ..
@Soham
Oh wow! That one was an awesome line. Why didn’t I think of that?? 😀
Hahaha.. It was very punny 🙂
Hahaaaa..nice nice very punny indeed
too punny!!!
@Varun
LOL..Thanks! 😀
@Bhuvana
Hehe! Thanks madam! 😀
@FanofMC
Thanks! 😀
oh my godliness…..!!!
it was amazing…i am a copywriter and i have to play with words all the time…
and this one is the best…handsdown…
keep posting such punny things…
i dont think so it can get better than this… 😀 😛 🙂
hee hee .. sounds like story of my life .. have u tried banking or selling laptops yet ? soul-enriching experiences , i say .. Deja mooo , it is 😉
my god, did you come up this bullshit all by yourself?? you should be a jokebook writer or a copywriter! though the lameness of it may make your employee think you’re not of the write stuff.
Nikhil:
I am a pun-kha of puns. A friend from IIMA and I meet and pun our way through the evening. If it weren’t for puns, my PhD on obesity would have drowned under its own weight.
Childhood obesity is a growing problem.
Pharma firms see jumbo profits in anti-obesity drugs.
Miracle weight loss pill? Fat chance.
Rolling stats suggest growth in obesity numbers.
Effective weight loss therapies are thin on the ground.
I have a whole document full of these but had to avoid using them in the thesis 😦
“Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.” — Fred Allen
I love puns 🙂 Good outsourcing 🙂
@Blueandgrey
LOL.. Thanks! 😀
Most of this is outsourced, though! 🙂
@Bhargavi
Hehehe! There’s a career option I haven’t tried yet! 😀
@Sulz
I wish…! 😀
Most of this is outsourced, with some valuable inputs from me, of course! 😀
@Shefaly
Haha! Yeah, I remember you’d told this to me sometime ago… Hehe! Good ones! 😀
@Apar
LOL… Good one! 😀
lol too good 😀
Hai re employee sabki yehi kahani 😉
i go to dental school only coz its the only thing i could sink my teeth into 🙂
Deja mu indeed 😀
I am still not sure what made me get into IT grrrrr…:D
…VERY P(H)UNNY!!…awesome!!:D
Just to end with a kicker:
“You finally took up a job at Mirror Cracked and, hell yeah, you did and are still doing a good job of making people crack with laughter.”
Truly an awesome post …
@Nikhil: Yes, it was deja moo, but loved it all the same.
@Shefaly: Good ones!
It’s my first comment here Nikhil. I couldn’t resist commenting! Very phunny indeed 😀
Haha, brilliant! 😀
hee…he… 🙂 good one! though i feel it is been lifted from somewhere, is it?? 😛
@Smita
Hehe! Yeah, i swear! 😀
@La Vida Loca
Hehe! That’s a good one! 🙂
@WIAN
Welcome back! 🙂
Hehehe! I’m out of IT, thankfully! 😉
@Manushi
Haha! thanks! 🙂
@Samkit
LOL.. good one, thanks dude! 🙂
@Nomad
Yup! thanks! 🙂
@Kiran
Welcome to MirrorCracked! 😀
Thanks for commenting! Keep visiting! 🙂
@Shivya
Thanks! 🙂
@Sakhi
Yup, partly outsourced! 😀
funnily punny MirrorCracked
It was absolutely brilliant.
One from my life –
I hated computer languages until I realized that I could C-sharp. 🙂
Hi Nikhil,
Just to inform you that i’ve moved my blog to http://escribble.wordpress.com. I am a regular on your blog now, it’s just too funny to past-up on 😀 Your blog is on my blog roll, appreciate likewise. Thank you.
Wow. I still don’t understand why you wrote this post. 😛 😀