It’s A Punny World! :)

Punny WorldMy first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. The job was only so-so anyhow. Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it. I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t note worthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience. When I finally got a patient, he woke up in the hospital and screamed, “Doctor, I can’t feel my leg! Help!” to which, I replied, “I know! I’ve cut off your arms!”

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried, but I just didn’t fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income. I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.

And after reading this post, you’re probably going to experience Deja Moo – the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. 😀

A good pun is its own reword.

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

31 thoughts on “It’s A Punny World! :)

  1. “Congratulations you have one, it’s a year’s subscription of bad puns” that I want…

    In quotes: Words of ‘Kurt Cobain’…

    but seriously u did some on on ur feet thinkin for this I guess… but m just guessing… 😛

  2. @Hope
    Curt Kobain was no gentleman! 😀
    And no, most of these puns are outsourced… 😀

    Yeah, it is! 😛

    Hehe! Yeah, thanks! 😀

  3. oh my godliness…..!!!

    it was amazing…i am a copywriter and i have to play with words all the time…

    and this one is the best…handsdown…

    keep posting such punny things…

    i dont think so it can get better than this… 😀 😛 🙂

  4. hee hee .. sounds like story of my life .. have u tried banking or selling laptops yet ? soul-enriching experiences , i say .. Deja mooo , it is 😉

  5. my god, did you come up this bullshit all by yourself?? you should be a jokebook writer or a copywriter! though the lameness of it may make your employee think you’re not of the write stuff. :mrgreen:

  6. Nikhil:

    I am a pun-kha of puns. A friend from IIMA and I meet and pun our way through the evening. If it weren’t for puns, my PhD on obesity would have drowned under its own weight.

    Childhood obesity is a growing problem.

    Pharma firms see jumbo profits in anti-obesity drugs.

    Miracle weight loss pill? Fat chance.

    Rolling stats suggest growth in obesity numbers.

    Effective weight loss therapies are thin on the ground.

    I have a whole document full of these but had to avoid using them in the thesis 😦

  7. “Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.” — Fred Allen
    I love puns 🙂 Good outsourcing 🙂

  8. @Blueandgrey
    LOL.. Thanks! 😀
    Most of this is outsourced, though! 🙂

    Hehehe! There’s a career option I haven’t tried yet! 😀

    I wish…! 😀
    Most of this is outsourced, with some valuable inputs from me, of course! 😀

    Haha! Yeah, I remember you’d told this to me sometime ago… Hehe! Good ones! 😀

    LOL… Good one! 😀

  9. Just to end with a kicker:
    “You finally took up a job at Mirror Cracked and, hell yeah, you did and are still doing a good job of making people crack with laughter.”
    Truly an awesome post …

  10. @Smita
    Hehe! Yeah, i swear! 😀

    @La Vida Loca
    Hehe! That’s a good one! 🙂

    Welcome back! 🙂
    Hehehe! I’m out of IT, thankfully! 😉

    Haha! thanks! 🙂

    LOL.. good one, thanks dude! 🙂

    Yup! thanks! 🙂

    Welcome to MirrorCracked! 😀
    Thanks for commenting! Keep visiting! 🙂

    Thanks! 🙂

    Yup, partly outsourced! 😀

  11. It was absolutely brilliant.
    One from my life –
    I hated computer languages until I realized that I could C-sharp. 🙂

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