Jingles, Jangles And Balls :)

I've been good this year, I promise! πŸ™‚

Dear Santa,

How’ve you been? I hope you’re keeping yourself warm? Guess what, Santa: It’s that time of the year again, where we all become spies and secret agents. The Secret Santa game started in office today, and each one of us picked chits and we became the Secret Santa of the person whose name we picked. It’s all hush-hush in office today, with everyone guessing and double-guessing who their Secret Santa is.

I’ve been trying to reach you for the past two days, and you’re not answering your phone!

I’ve been a good boy this year, Santa. I really have. You gotta believe me. I did my chores, I’ve remained single, I’ve forgiven them all, I’ve forgotten them all, I’ve been honest (to an extent), I’ve been regular on the blogs, I’ve given up trying to quit smoking, I’ve not used more than 150 swear words a day, I’ve not broken many hearts, I’ve not given the finger to many losers, I’ve prayed hard for beer, I’ve worked hard, I’ve partied harder, I’ve hardly touched anything that I’m not supposed to touch, I’ve written no more than 2 hate mails, I’ve haven’t killed anyone or anything, I’ve done all that I could to ensure my level of atrociousness, I’ve washed myself before and after, I’ve been clean (in a non-drug-related way; you know what I mean, Santa; wink wink), I’ve not been wasting my food, I’ve fed a few hungry people, I’ve been nicer to dogs this year, I’ve done my bit for the environment, I’ve stayed out of jail, I’ve donated blood and other body fluids to people in need, I’ve thought really hard about running a marathon, I’ve not made prank calls, I’ve not asked for much from you before, and we both know that you’ve not given anything I’ve asked for, you jackass.

But this time, please, there’s something I really want and I really really hope that there’s an internet connection wherever you are, so that you’re reading this, please grant me the following:

1. My Paycheck

That’s it. That’s all I ask. Please?


Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

35 thoughts on “Jingles, Jangles And Balls :)

  1. ho ho ho!!!!

    u r funnier than i thought u’d be… nice one here… wondering… is that the ONLY thing u want??? *Wink* *Wink* Oh comeeeeon… πŸ˜€

  2. hahhahahh…… Thoughtful…. witty….. Humourous….. buddy, you’ve got another regular reader!!!

  3. You call St. Nick a jackass and you expect him to comply with your request! πŸ™‚
    Too short a list, don’t you think anyways for having been so nice all year?

  4. @Hope
    Hope is the hope I am hoping for! πŸ˜‰

    Thanks! πŸ˜€
    And yes, I’m glad too! πŸ™‚

    Haha! πŸ˜€

    Welcome to MirrorCracked! πŸ˜€
    And i’m glad you like it! πŸ˜€

    Haha! Santa is in the process of complying! πŸ˜€
    And thanks! πŸ™‚

    Hehehehe!! No sir, google images! πŸ˜€

    Hahaha!! No, I think the list is enough… It’s like having to use a bit of restraint when given 3 wishes! πŸ˜€

    LOL… Oh yeah, thanks for pointing it out! πŸ˜€
    And yes, ahem… they do! πŸ˜‰

  5. @Sandy
    Welcome to MirrorCracked! πŸ˜€
    And thanks, I’m glad you liked it! πŸ™‚

    Hehehehe!! I don’t know and I don’t care! I want my money! πŸ˜€

  6. more than 150 words, not bad buddy! and fine ur list doesnt seem longer, dude ask for more… I neva knew that you are so clean! and did i read something about single… I suppose Nikhil is no more single.. No false promises to santa I mean santa clus, buddy!!!

    Anyways!! Be merry!!!

  7. Here dumps Santa Claus
    Here dumps Santa Claus
    right down Santa Claus lane
    Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer
    are staring at his stains
    Bowels are ringing, children screamin’
    all is brown in his sight
    wash your stockings and say your prayers
    cause Santa Claus dumps tonight

  8. that’s it ? U did not even mention the most important adjective , FAT. . A fat paycheck ,and that is my wish for Christmas too :d !

  9. wah!!bas itna hi chahiye???..Santa will be very happy!! you should see MY list!!…he ran away when he saw my list last year…haha πŸ˜€

  10. This has got to be the cutest letter to Santa ever!

    What do you need your Paycheck for? To go get drunk?

  11. Hey Niks………dats really awesome…..u’ve actually behave weel n been a gud boy….btw plz santa 2 grant my wish 2……..My paycheck toooooooooooo…………

  12. Jack Ass Santa… LOL πŸ˜€
    That cartoon is quite awesome. I always wanted to ask you. Where do you get all the pictures you post on your blog from?

  13. I have become so familiar with your style of writing that if anyone just showed me a post and asked who had written it, I would be able to guess if its yours.

  14. Ohh you are so funny… LOL…

    Eheh I guess if there’s one thing I could wish, I could ask to Santa, it could be a big gun to kill my enemies! πŸ‘Ώ πŸ˜€ *ME BAD GIRL* eheh

  15. “I’ve hardly touched anything that I’m not supposed to touch”

    “I’ve donated blood and other body fluids to people in need”.

    You do realise these are very scary comments, right? Especially the “other body fluids to people in need” bit! I am tempted to ask you what that means, but I think I’ll pass. πŸ˜‰

    Hope Santa listened and you got the cheque….


    Quirky Indian

  16. DUDE, Whats with the snow effect I see on many of the blogs? Its very irritating. Anyway, I don’t believe in god or in any form of his. So I don’t believe in “Santa” too. Or maybe I do. Its a fat man dressed in red and white whatever you call it. :p πŸ˜€

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: