Me: Hey God, what’s up?
God: Nothing much. You tell me.
Me: You know that this isn’t really happening and that I’m either stoned or drunk.
God: Yes, I do realize it. What can we do about it?
Me: Nothing, I guess. Let’s make a deal, shall we?
Me: You promise me that you’ll leave me alone and I’ll promise you that I’ll not spread rumors about you.
God: You’ve been spreading rumors about me?
Me: Uh… No, forget that.
God: No, no! Tell me, what rumors have you been spreading about me?
Me: Nothing, God. Nothing. Let’s move on, shall we?
God: I don’t think so, Nikhil. Tell me now!
Me: (Shit!) Er, are you sure you want me to do that?
God: Um, yeah.
Me: I’ve been telling people that… that you… you are… Hey, did you watch that new movie? Isn’t that cool?
God: Don’t change the frikkin topic, dude.
Me: (Oh Crap!) Look, God. You’re a decent guy. And I’m sure you’re rational, to an extent. Let bygones be bygones. What say?
God: More than rational, I’m a bit more realistic. Now, stop beating around the bush and tell me what nonsense you’ve been telling people about me! Tell me now or I will banish you to an eternity of bloglessness!
Me: (Gulp!) Okay, I’m sorry. I think I should confess. I’ve been telling people that you don’t exist.
God: Hmmm… Really? Is that it? Or are you hiding something?
Me: No, no! That’s it! I swear. I am not lying!
God: May I ask why you did this deed?
Me: Well, I don’t know.. I mean, look at you. You’re this big and powerful entity and you apparently created the whole universe and you’re omnipresent and omnipotential and all that jazz. But you’re never there when people need you, are you?
God: Oh, you’re referring to the recent increase in terrorism, aren’t you?
Me: Terrorism? No, I think a lot of people are already doing that. I’m referring to something much more fundamental.
God: Really? What?
Me: My sense of time – I woke up today and thought it was a Thursday. And on Wednesday, I woke up and thought it was Saturday. What’s happening to me?
God: I think it’s some deep atavistic instinct of yours kicking in.
Me: Oh yeah? Do you see me dangling from a tree branch and scratching myself?
God: In a way, yes. I do.
Me: (Scratching myself) Hmmm… You do have a point there. Maybe it’s time we put an end to this ridiculous conversation and get on with our daily chores.
God: That’s the most intelligent thing you’ve said all your life.
Me: Why, thank you, God! I was running low on sarcasm.
God: Get lost. Bye!
Me: Goodbye! 🙂