On This Fine Monday Morning…

monday_blues… I’m sure most of us don’t want to be here. We’d much rather be lounging in our warm and cozy beds, curled up with a good novel with a cup of hot steaming tea/coffee on the small table next to the bed. Better than that would be to be asleep, dreaming of Coyote Ugly. Ah well, the little pleasures of life aren’t meant for a Monday.

I woke up this morning feeling impotent. No, don’t get me wrong. I meant it in the non-obvious way – my whole weekend was a blur. I had high hopes of experiencing heaven on Saturday, and no matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t get there.

Damn, reading that last sentence, I feel so pervert. Ok, I’ll clear the air – I think I’ve lost my ability to get drunk!

There, I’ve said it. It feels better now that it’s in the open. I feel so impotent, so insecure, so incomplete. Despite my promise to Shefaly Auntie that I wouldn’t drink this weekend and instead would do some soul-searching, the best way to handle temptations is to give in to them. So, I drank.

I started at 11:00 am on Saturday and drank all the way up to 6:00 pm, and even though everyone around me was smashed, I was sober. I was as sober as I’ve always been – not even tipsy! I was scared. I felt less of a man. I felt, and still feel impotent. Have I lost it? Am I on a constant high that I don’t climb any more? I need professional help, I think. Not AA, as I’m not an alcoholic – I drink only on weekends; I think I need to do something about this. Maybe take a week off and drink until I can’t stand and can’t remember my name. Maybe it’ll work.

On a more pleasant note, I opened my mail today and saw that I had won the Blog Of The Day award. Three cheers to whoever nominated me, and a round of beer for all the rockstars at the BOTDA! πŸ™‚

Happy Monday to all.

Advice to drunkards: Preserve your manhood. Get high. πŸ˜€

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

36 thoughts on “On This Fine Monday Morning…

  1. Hey BG(Blog guru)…I think u have a reason to be happy that ur capacity has increase……..So u can drink or rather drown yourself in booze……hehehehhee

  2. Congrats on your award! You really are scaring me! STOP DRINKING! (was that loud enough? πŸ™‚ )…don’t you think you want your liver till end of life?

  3. Congratulations for teh awards! This is anotehr award, apart from Avant Garde that I have not received/won yet πŸ™‚

    and dnt drink much if you want to preserve your manhood πŸ˜›

  4. Congrats again, on the Award. Well deserved.

    Also professional help is on the way, do these if not already doing them.
    a) Mix some cigarette ash, increases the high
    b) Mix Wishkey and Run and Beer awesome combo(Add To Taste)
    c) Have some chocolate

    All these tend to increase the high, but if you are high always as me, “God” help us.

  5. Things that I did over the weekend:
    I slept
    I ate
    I slept again
    I ate again
    I fell sick
    I slept again
    I grumbled and made life miserable for a lot of other people


  6. πŸ™„ GOD!! how can you drink soooooooo much!!

    Anyways, am happy for you about the award

    [P.S. am not telling you anything about drinking since i know that it will be fruitless (oops, pun not intended!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜› ) ]

  7. @Piyu
    Hehe! Good point! πŸ˜€

    Sigh, I guess so! πŸ™‚

    Hehe! Thanks! πŸ˜€

    Hehehe! My liver’s better now, that’s why it processed that much alcohol! πŸ˜€

    Thanks! πŸ™‚
    And I’m sure you’ll win that soon enough! πŸ˜€
    And yeah, now that you mention it, I better! πŸ˜‰

    Hehehehe!! Thanks macha! πŸ˜€

    Oh, poor you! Are you all right now? 😦

    Haha! Good pun! πŸ˜€

    LOL..!! Expected from you! πŸ˜€

    Hmmm… I dunno, you tell me! πŸ˜‰

  8. dude… chk ur blood if its still deep red or turned into a brownish alcoholic red!?! πŸ˜› prolly thts wt is flowin in ur brain and so, further alcohol isn’t making u feel drunk πŸ˜€

  9. I had no idea you were visiting my blog, but thank you very much for your comment there on my Not-So-Merry Christmas post. πŸ™‚ I came over here and really enjoyed reading your last couple of entries. I’m gonna link you because I definitely wanna come back for more!

  10. @La Vida Loca
    Hahaha!! Maybe! πŸ˜€

    Hmmm, i think I should do that! And thanks! πŸ™‚

    Hahahaha!! I don’t know, man! πŸ˜€

    Sweet dreams! πŸ˜›

    You’re very welcome! πŸ™‚
    And thanks, I’m glad you like it here! You’ve been on my roll for well over 5 months now! πŸ˜€

  11. Join the fucking group. I experienced this last weekend and this weekend as well. I mean, what the fuck is wrong? Is it the weather or what? I have been looking for solution and if u get closer to any solution do let this poor soul know..

    Three Cheers to Your Blog… Hick! Hick! Hick!

  12. @Oxy
    Et Tu?? Dude, this is disgustingly rampant! πŸ˜€

    Wake up, wake up! πŸ˜€

    THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! πŸ˜€

    Thanks man! πŸ™‚
    And water?? Hmmm… Never thought about it! πŸ˜€

  13. Dude, I know your world will be smashed if you don’t feel like a man. πŸ˜€ But then, you can’t help it. Right? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜›

  14. Where Am I???

    “Maybe take a week off and drink until I can’t stand and can’t remember my name.”

    *Faints again*

  15. Hey congrats on the award. and on the drinks, are you sure you weren’t gulping duplicate stuff? or was it just Tap water. Always, get original stuff, to get high at the right time.

  16. *Sorry. It was supposed to be ‘high’ there, the last word in place of hood. I think I’ve got already enough high! πŸ˜€

  17. @Anniyan
    Hehe! Bingo! πŸ˜€

    Wake up!! Wake up!! πŸ˜€

    Thanks! πŸ˜€
    And no, I don’t usually drink this much! πŸ™‚

    Hehehe! Quite original – Johhny Walker, Bacardi and Kingfisher! πŸ˜€

    Hahaha!! Cheers!! πŸ˜€

    Welcome to MirrorCracked! πŸ˜€
    Thanks! πŸ˜€

  18. Congrats for the blog of the day award! You deserve it and more!
    About the drinking episodes, I am reminded of an uncle of mine who is fond of eating. When he has a stomach upset he says what he does is eat more! And he insists that it cures him!
    On a more serious note, I think you seem to know you are addicted. I think marriage could cure you. πŸ˜€

  19. Congratulations!!!!
    Both for the award and for the *other thing*
    And I am the exact opposite of you. Even a half filled bottle of beer gets me drunk. 😦

  20. Congrats …and its the law of diminishing utility showing it’s ugly head .. every additional bottle of beer ends up giving u lesser intoxication than the first one did ..You shud have stopped at the first bottle to have maximized gain out of a bottle !!.. sorry, i just needed to flaunt my nerdiness somewhere !!

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