… I’m sure most of us don’t want to be here. We’d much rather be lounging in our warm and cozy beds, curled up with a good novel with a cup of hot steaming tea/coffee on the small table next to the bed. Better than that would be to be asleep, dreaming of Coyote Ugly. Ah well, the little pleasures of life aren’t meant for a Monday.
I woke up this morning feeling impotent. No, don’t get me wrong. I meant it in the non-obvious way – my whole weekend was a blur. I had high hopes of experiencing heaven on Saturday, and no matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t get there.
Damn, reading that last sentence, I feel so pervert. Ok, I’ll clear the air – I think I’ve lost my ability to get drunk!
There, I’ve said it. It feels better now that it’s in the open. I feel so impotent, so insecure, so incomplete. Despite my promise to Shefaly Auntie that I wouldn’t drink this weekend and instead would do some soul-searching, the best way to handle temptations is to give in to them. So, I drank.
I started at 11:00 am on Saturday and drank all the way up to 6:00 pm, and even though everyone around me was smashed, I was sober. I was as sober as I’ve always been – not even tipsy! I was scared. I felt less of a man. I felt, and still feel impotent. Have I lost it? Am I on a constant high that I don’t climb any more? I need professional help, I think. Not AA, as I’m not an alcoholic – I drink only on weekends; I think I need to do something about this. Maybe take a week off and drink until I can’t stand and can’t remember my name. Maybe it’ll work.
On a more pleasant note, I opened my mail today and saw that I had won the Blog Of The Day award. Three cheers to whoever nominated me, and a round of beer for all the rockstars at the BOTDA! π
Happy Monday to all.
Advice to drunkards: Preserve your manhood. Get high. π
lol , But you would not be able to blog either if you were really really really drunk !!
Losing the ability to get drunk is probably one of the better things that can happen to a man. Lucky you!!
Hey BG(Blog guru)…I think u have a reason to be happy that ur capacity has increase……..So u can drink or rather drown yourself in booze……hehehehhee
BTW forgot to wish you Congratulations…Must say u very well deserved it…
Congrats on your award! You really are scaring me! STOP DRINKING! (was that loud enough? π )…don’t you think you want your liver till end of life?
Congratulations for teh awards! This is anotehr award, apart from Avant Garde that I have not received/won yet π
and dnt drink much if you want to preserve your manhood π
Congrats again, on the Award. Well deserved.
Also professional help is on the way, do these if not already doing them.
a) Mix some cigarette ash, increases the high
b) Mix Wishkey and Run and Beer awesome combo(Add To Taste)
c) Have some chocolate
All these tend to increase the high, but if you are high always as me, “God” help us.
Things that I did over the weekend:
I slept
I ate
I slept again
I ate again
I fell sick
I slept again
I grumbled and made life miserable for a lot of other people
π
π GOD!! how can you drink soooooooo much!!
Anyways, am happy for you about the award
[P.S. am not telling you anything about drinking since i know that it will be fruitless (oops, pun not intended!! π π ) ]
Congrats on the award. Rest no comments.
Preserve ur “MANHOOD”!!! What about competent females??? π
@Piyu
Hehe! Good point! π
@Amreekandesi
Sigh, I guess so! π
@Val
Hehe! Thanks! π
@Apar
Hehehe! My liver’s better now, that’s why it processed that much alcohol! π
@Poonam
Thanks! π
And I’m sure you’ll win that soon enough! π
And yeah, now that you mention it, I better! π
@Chirag
Hehehehe!! Thanks macha! π
@Alice
Oh, poor you! Are you all right now? π¦
@Sakhi
Haha! Good pun! π
@Reema
LOL..!! Expected from you! π
@Hope
Hmmm… I dunno, you tell me! π
maybe ur liver finally caughtup on metabolising faaasst.
stay off alcohol for a week π then take a drink dude π maybe that will work ! and congrats ,one more feather to ur cap !
dude… chk ur blood if its still deep red or turned into a brownish alcoholic red!?! π prolly thts wt is flowin in ur brain and so, further alcohol isn’t making u feel drunk π
ha i am going to take a nap now π
I had no idea you were visiting my blog, but thank you very much for your comment there on my Not-So-Merry Christmas post. π I came over here and really enjoyed reading your last couple of entries. I’m gonna link you because I definitely wanna come back for more!
@La Vida Loca
Hahaha!! Maybe! π
@Meghana
Hmmm, i think I should do that! And thanks! π
@Su
Hahahaha!! I don’t know, man! π
@Vishesh
Sweet dreams! π
@Sindhu
You’re very welcome! π
And thanks, I’m glad you like it here! You’ve been on my roll for well over 5 months now! π
Join the fucking group. I experienced this last weekend and this weekend as well. I mean, what the fuck is wrong? Is it the weather or what? I have been looking for solution and if u get closer to any solution do let this poor soul know..
Three Cheers to Your Blog… Hick! Hick! Hick!
Congrats for the award π
Errr…. 11 to 6???
*faints*
congratulations mr zombie!!…the ‘whoever’ was me… chk this… http://blogofthedayawards.blogspot.com/2008/12/with-love-me.html π
Congratulations for Blog of the Day π
You can try drinking water for a change! π
@Oxy
Et Tu?? Dude, this is disgustingly rampant! π
@Smita
Wake up, wake up! π
@Manushi
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! π
@Varun
Thanks man! π
And water?? Hmmm… Never thought about it! π
Dude, I know your world will be smashed if you don’t feel like a man. π But then, you can’t help it. Right? π π π
Where Am I???
“Maybe take a week off and drink until I canβt stand and canβt remember my name.”
*Faints again*
Congrats on the Award!:D
BTW, do you seriously drink so much? and that to early in the day?
Hey congrats on the award. and on the drinks, are you sure you weren’t gulping duplicate stuff? or was it just Tap water. Always, get original stuff, to get high at the right time.
The advice at the bottom was the best!
Sure, preserve manhood and get hood.
*Sorry. It was supposed to be ‘high’ there, the last word in place of hood. I think I’ve got already enough high! π
hy Congrats, keep up the good writing !
@Anniyan
Hehe! Bingo! π
@Smita
Wake up!! Wake up!! π
@Kiran
Thanks! π
And no, I don’t usually drink this much! π
@Dinesh
Hehehe! Quite original – Johhny Walker, Bacardi and Kingfisher! π
@Ameya
Hahaha!! Cheers!! π
@Nitin
Welcome to MirrorCracked! π
Thanks! π
Congrats for the blog of the day award! You deserve it and more!
About the drinking episodes, I am reminded of an uncle of mine who is fond of eating. When he has a stomach upset he says what he does is eat more! And he insists that it cures him!
On a more serious note, I think you seem to know you are addicted. I think marriage could cure you. π
congrats!! Buddy! Drink to the merriest and be a man. what say???
Congratulations!!!!
Both for the award and for the *other thing*
And I am the exact opposite of you. Even a half filled bottle of beer gets me drunk. π¦
Congrats for the award π
Congrats …and its the law of diminishing utility showing it’s ugly head .. every additional bottle of beer ends up giving u lesser intoxication than the first one did ..You shud have stopped at the first bottle to have maximized gain out of a bottle !!.. sorry, i just needed to flaunt my nerdiness somewhere !!