The Death Of A Legendary Warrior


Ladies and gentlemen, friends, fellow bloggers, distinguishedΒ  colleagues, kids, addicts and all the random people who stumbled upon this blog because of the tag ‘sex’, please join me in a moment’s silence to mourn for the death of the greatest man ever known to exist.

Some may claim he never existed but I beg to differ. He existed in all of us, we all have a part of him and he was an integral part of all of us. He came out of nowhere and stole our hearts, made us laugh until we cried and then, without a warning, left us all and joined the other martyrs.

He was an icon. He was a legend. He was the warrior that I can never be. He gave me a reason to write about him, and now, I never shall. It gives me great sorrow to announce the death of Hairy Potter.

Last time we heard about him, he was somewhere in the Andamans, trying to find meaning to his life and to all the unanswered questions that kept cropping up everywhere he went. Last night, he had an unfortunate accident while combing his hair – in a very delicate place – and inadvertently, he combed something else that wasn’t supposed to be combed.

Now, we will never know the answers to all those questions that haunt us day and night. We can never reveal the truth. Hairy was the only person strong enough to face the realities and now, he’s gone. There was some talk that this was the handiwork of the elusive Wall De Fart, but nothing can be proved. I cried the whole night. I attended his funeral this morning – it seemed the entire world had come to see him off.

Even in death, he exuded that hairy confidence that filled us all with inspiration.

Rest in peace, Hairy. We will all miss you, my friend. I envied your bladder control and now, I envy your peace. Fight on, Hairy.

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

30 thoughts on “The Death Of A Legendary Warrior

  1. the first thing i do when i came to office is see this post….i mean wtf…!!!! wat inspired you to write this? πŸ˜€
    i mean hello…. early in the morning you were dreaming about ‘Hairy’….

    ur insane man… πŸ˜€ and totally whacked out in your head… ha ha ha…. this is hilarious… and the possibly related posts…. its all the more insane… πŸ˜€

  2. ok next nomination for most insane post. A simple sentence that “I wont write the Hairy potter series anymore and I m deleting the drafts” would have sufficed.

  3. I really dunno! what to tell you, I was just reading and a part where hairy is combing! God Nikhil!!! you’re so so interestingly inspiring insane guy! I blurted out in laughter and as usual in library, The librarian came to me and told, Can’t you be just quiet while browsing! don’t disturb others( the others who’re busily orkutting) One day! am sure they gonna push me out by my neck and i will just point my fingers @ you..

  4. I might sound quite mean , but I am very glad that hairy is gone . . .This does mean an end to your hairy posts right ? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  5. hehehehehehehe… πŸ˜€
    People think that I have gone crazy nowadays, when they see me suddenly bursting with laughter… They don’t realize that “MirrorCracked” is open right in front of my very eyes… Kudos to you and Hairy!

  6. I have to read the earlier posts.. some of the commentators here seemed to be happy and some are not πŸ˜€ what did you do Nikhil???

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