Everyone goes through these phases where they think they’re someone else. Sometimes, it gets a bit funny like the time when a friend told me that she felt like a pair of men’s trousers. In that particular situation, I think she was just being horny, and trying to send me a subtle message. I think I missed her seductive wink.
At other times, an identity crisis can get really bad, and can force people to do something drastic like dress up like Superman or worse, jump off a cliff hoping to fly. My current identity crisis isn’t anything funny or bad, but I think it’s very very cool.
I think I am God.
Considering that I spent the whole of last year being God’s yo-yo, I think this is a huge step in recovery. I feel I can do anything. And I’ve been getting more work done in an hour than what I used to get done in a whole week. I can predict the weather, I can solve complex mathematical functions, I can run faster than the street dog, I can dance better than Michael Jackson on crack, I can scale tall buildings with a few elevators, I can explain the concepts of Existentialism and Darwinism and at the same time, squash ten bugs, I can write more freely without inhibitions and a total disregard for etiquette, I can respond to emails with panache that leave the recipients stunned and speechless and scampering for the nearest dictionary, I can sing with renewed vigor, I can start new websites in under ten minutes and of course, I can do everything that I dream of. Everything (Wink, wink).
What’s ironic is that when the new year started, one of my resolutions was to buy an Avenger and feel like God, but I feel like God without the new bike! I am God! Ah, divinity feels good! And gives rise to a lot of corny lines, such as:
- “Help? You mean divine intervention.”
- “Don’t piss God off, I might just decide to send you to Hell.”
- “Every morning, you should pray to God.”
- “God Save Me!”
- “God Bless You!”
…and so on. It feels so good to be able to bless other people! Bow down, mortal! 😀
PS: Pride goes before a fall, but comes after a lot of beer-happy moments of absolute pleasure! 😀
Image Courtesy: Skotos.net