I must confess that I wrote this for a friend three years ago, after a particularly frustrating year of helping her apply for schools in the US of A. As you can imagine, she hasn’t spoken to me since.
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
“Ignorance is Bliss..”
The above statement is true in my case. I have absolutely no knowledge or skill. I don’t even know why I am writing this. All I know is that I was forced to study right from my first grade onwards, and after 22 long years, I finished my ten-year-schooling. I’ve heard that your university is the least respected, and the one with the least academic requirements, and so, here I am, applying to you.
The drive to study life sciences was instilled in me by one of my uncles, who, during his fourth rape session with me, warned me about the dangers of HIV and AIDS. This left a huge impact on my ten-year-old mind. And all our subsequent rape sessions have been with protection, and I was always eager to know more.
If people call you a jerk ten times, does it actually mean that you’re a jerk? I don’t think so. Because I’ve been called a jerk a million times, and I still don’t think I am a jerk. The best part of accepting me in your university would be that I will not interfere with the amazing research going on there. I will stay away from all the professors and let them carry on with their great work. I particularly liked the research going on about why the cock crows only in the morning. I have a few theories about this which I would be happy to share with you, for a stipend of course. Knowledge doesn’t come free, you see.
Anyway, I am looking forward to working with you people and I hope you grant me admission. I will be invaluable to the university as a perfect scapegoat. I am great as a partner, especially for the male population in the university and they can dip their cookie in my coffee (Wink! Wink! Know what I mean??) whenever they want.
Thank you,
A poor, misinformed girl from somewhere.
Image Courtesy: Kaaledge.com
eeeeeeewwwwwwww!!!
:O :O :O :O …. .. life sciences sounds interesting …. lol 😉
ROFL! Hilarious. She must have been a really docile person to have let you live to tell the tale. ;o)
Wish I had some passive friends like yours 😀
Hilarious! Not surprised at your friend’s reaction though:)
Damn, and my SOP was about as funny as BJP’s manifesto.
Oh wait that is actually very funny. Never mind.
You are so funny!! 😀 😀
yuk!
@Scorpria
Hehehe!! 😀
@Harsh
LOL… Yeah! 😀
@Chill Pill
LOL!! 😀 😀
@Nautankey
It’s not always fun, dude! 😀
@Smitha
Hehe! Yeah! 😀
@Che
Well, lemme read yorus and then we can compare 😀
@Winnie the poohi
Thank you thank you! 😀
@Yuk
“Fuk” to you too! 😛
Er, I mean, “Yuk”
lol. That should do the trick.
Although the rape humor is lost on me.
You are still alive?! That friend of yours is way too passive!
Hahahahahhaah… hehehehhee.. 😀 😀
Too good !!! 😀
It was sooo funnyyyy.. !!!
Rape sessions… cookie in my coffee.. 😀
You’re the best!
you sent it to schools.. that is more than one.. and still alive..
oh yes she was technically illitrate so didn’t read the SOP.. wonder why she didn’t call you.. 😉
That was wicked man . 😉
Don’t you have anything like the ‘adult notification’ like they have in blogspot, lol 😛
It should’ve gotten some points for being different at least 😀
Ha ha! 🙂
keep blogging!
How true….
“…If people call you a jerk ten times, does it actually mean that you’re a jerk? I don’t think so. Because I’ve been called a jerk a million times, and I still don’t think I am a jerk….”
LOL, nasty!! And I like it 😀
g
haha..gud one dude..!! and I’m glad you felt nostalgic ..i guess you won’t feel so..again[:D]
I’m told that the cock crowing in the morning is somehow directly related to ahem ahem…erect cocks in the morning…
i think research points out that the subsequent release of pheromones…leads the other to crow…
but i’m sure the univ. would have managed to confirm this hypothesis by now
No wonder she has not talked to you 🙂
I’ll pretend that I never read that! 😛
The best part of accepting me in your university would be that I will not interfere with the amazing research going on there. I will stay away from all the professors and let them carry on with their great work.
haha x 10^10! had me in splits!
Ho-hum.
No one leave this page without laughter 😆
So did she get an admission finally???
and I thought one of your points in the dummy for love (or whatever!) was to be nice and kind to girls !!! 😀
wtf!!! 😛
goooooooooood one 😀 😀
no wonder she isn’t talking to u… i m not surprised! 😀
in fact, u shud have sent it to some uni… just to see their reaction… atleast it definitely deserves points for being “different”… possibly even out of the world! 😛
btw did she even get thru any of the universities? lol
i remember reading this in college. dammit. its so old, but funny. wasnt it for “no no no no no no no no” ‘s mimcry artist. i hope u know what i mean.
wink wink
Hilarious …lol
It started of nice and funny and then it turned out to be nasty and funny 🙂
🙂 ROFLMAO !!
No wonder she has vanished!!! You sure do know how to get rid of people dont yaa!!
LMAO 😀
You should have cautioned int eh SOP, “Only for adults” and send it to univ 😉
Had to comment, followed your blog after a long time… its hillarious!!…. I dont even wanna knw who it was!
Ha..,ha..,
Although i couldnt well digst the rape humour part, Funny man!
Here’s my reneditoin of Newtons Laws!
http://murthykurapati.blogspot.com/2006/12/plagiarism-at-my-best.html
what i dont understand is how come everybodys failed to mention the fact that you sound like a perv 😛
Man! i am gonna send this SOP when i apply to THAT University!!!!!!
grate ..so impressive…
😀 😀 😀 😛
After all those never ending applications and essays, I’m soo happy I read this.Thanks!! 🙂
you know how i just reached this page? searching for tips to write an SOP 😛
F off man.. l gotta get back to work.. good one though 😉