Over time, we have evolved into something resembling a cross between an upright chimp and a hairy stink ball. I’m not kidding. Have you counted the number of hairs on your body lately? You’ll be astonished.
Anyway, when Charles Darwin wrote the ‘Origin Of species,’ he overlooked one major fact – The Stupidity Index. Scientists at the MirrorCracked Labs, who were tragically killed in a laboratory experiment a few months ago, were working on the concept in inborn intelligence. (This is the reason the MirrorCracked Labs’ blog has been neglected. I lost seven of the most reputed scientists in a freak accident, when they were testing the inflammatory properties of compressed natural gas.)
During the fire, all the research data was lost and the entire lab complex was gutted. While sifting through the debris, I found a half-burnt paper titled ‘The Stupidity Index,’ which explained why every single human being alive today is as stupid as a doorknob. People who don’t agree to this fact are living in denial.
Excerpts from the paper:
[…] We are all born with a Stupidity Index of 3. The scale is from 0 to 5, where 0 is the least stupid and 5 is the most stupid. The scale is explained thus:
I am at 4. What about you? Assess yourself. You’ll be surprised to know where you stand. I apologize for the quality of the image. The fire nearly destroyed this too.
PS: Please observe a moment’s silence for the tragic deaths of the scientists of the MirrorCracked Labs. And go get drunk. They’d like that.