Of Cucumbers & Facial Creams

Look closely at your life, and at your circle of friends. There will always be a cucumber in there somewhere and there is bound to be a jar of facial cream too. I mean this figuratively, of course.

Some people are bright, witty and fun to hang out with. Others are cucumbers. They lack spice, they look boring and more often than not, women (and certain men) use them as sex toys. Again, the sex toy reference is a figurative one, with all puns intended. They are the most bland people you could meet on the face of this earth. They lack character, they kill any joy and are an absolute nightmare to hang out with. I know a lot of such people – both men and women – and however hard I try, I cannot get rid of them.

These cukes are usually devoid of any facial features – they have a strangely blank face with a stupid expression at all times. You can never tell what they are thinking, because they aren’t. It will usually take them a lot of time to process the simplest of information and their general knowledge and intelligence quotient is woefully inadequate for survival. Fortunately for the rest of us, cucumbers are a comic relief in this Greek tragedy that is life.

Then come the jars of facial creams. I’m sure you know a lot of people who fall into this category. These are people who are full of useless shit.

Image Courtesy: IntricateArt.com


Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

One thought on “Of Cucumbers & Facial Creams

  1. I am that person or was. It was a very miserable existence. Then I changed my name and became AWESOME-cakes.

    If you can’t identify the cucumber in your band of friends then it is YOU! 😉

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