The MirrorCracked Movie Review: John Wick


He’s traveled through time to write the most accurate history report in the history of mankind. He has traveled to Hell and back – literally –  to find out if his girlfriend’s sister has been taken by Lucifer. In the process, he has also battled the demon army that wanted to take over the World. He has stopped terrorists while riding a bus. He saved the entire World again, when machines threatened to take over and turn us into slaves. He’s led an army of Ronin to the brink of death and has come out victorious. He is Keanu Reeves.

And the Russians are stupid enough to break into his house and kill his puppy. 

That line pretty much sums up the John Wick experience. A bunch of Russians, led by Iosef (played by Theon Greyjoy, er, I mean Alfie Allen), break into Keanu Reeves’ house in the middle of the night, rough him up and, just for kicks, kill his puppy that had been gifted to him by his dead wife. It is then revealed that Keanu is none other than John Wick, a terrifying spectre who haunts people’s nightmares because he was the perfect killing machine, capable of “killing three people in a pub with a fuckin’ pencil!” as Viggo (played by Michael Nyqvist) puts it so eloquently. A retired hitman who used to work for Viggo in the past gets roughed up by Iosef – Viggo’s son.

The next 80 minutes of the movie follows John Wick as systematically prepares for and eliminates about a hundred Russian mobsters and causing, in typical Hollywood fashion, city-wide destruction of vehicles, buildings and everything else.

John Wick is superhuman, almost. The way he shoots people without having to take aim is almost too much fun to watch, and if any kids under the age of 12 watch the movie, they’d think shooting people is child’s play. In the end, he manages to kill everyone – I mean EVERYONE – and steals another puppy from a vet’s clinic and walks away in to the sunrise with it. We are led to believe that it’s disturbingly easy to kill people.

John Wick GIF

If anyone else apart from Keanu had played the part of John Wick, this movie would have been a joke. Keanu saves the day in his usual nonchalant, devil-may-care attitude. And that’s why we love him so much, don’t we? Don’t mess with Keanu!

The movie is worth a watch if you like mindless action movies with few dialogs and fewer plot lines. It’s worth a watch only for Keanu. Watch him, drool over him and forget the movie. The movie’s rated 7.3 on IMDB with over 74,000 votes. I’m guessing all of these people are hardcore Keanu fans.


Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: