Daydreaming

Day DreamingOne of the worst things that could happen to anyone in my position is this: the realization that your daydream will not be a reality. At least not immediately. You’re right up there among the stars, imagining how different your life will be and how you are going to spend the suitcase full of cash you just found on the sidewalk – a car each for yourself and your wife; maybe a new Harley for those exciting road trips on which, taking a car would be lame; a new house, perhaps two; a very strong and comprehensive health insurance plan for the entire family – yours and hers – to ensure that everyone who’s important is taken care of; and some extra leftover money invested in low yield bonds, savings, deposits and other such inane piggy-banks to ensure your financial independence. Of course, you’d first pay off your credit cards and loans and become debt-free.

You and your wife would then quit your respective jobs. You’d move in to one of your new houses, make it a home and give out the other one on rent for a decent family to ensure that you get paid monthly. You consider this income as your primary income which is earmarked for groceries, food and fuel. You then buy yourselves a pair of fancy smartphones that have the very latest features and you use these phones to tweet about how excited you are about what you’re planning to do next.

Once the tweet has been published, you pack your bags and you hit the road to being the longest journey of your life – a long road trip all over the country, on a quest to visit each and every state, drive on every road, experience all that the beautiful country has to offer. You’d spend almost a year on the road and you return to your new house (which is still new because you haven’t lived in it yet) and you spend a few months domesticating yourselves. You do the occasional trip on the Harley to a few places here and there that may have escaped your radar during the year-long road trip.

After about a year of the domestic life, your wife starts getting restless and insists that you do something out of the ordinary. She wants that excitement of living out of her backpack again. She wants to drive into the sunset and sit on the hood of your big SUV, looking out at the setting sun and smoke a cigarette and drink a Diet Coke, while you stand next to her with your beer can in hand, lean over to you just as the last rays turn the sky red and kiss you softly on the lips. She urges you to do something about this urge.

You walk over to the window overlooking the beautifully landscaped garden in front and you think about what to do. You wake up the next day and decide to sell off your other house. You contact your lawyer and find out that the rate of the house has nearly doubled in the two years since you bought it. You make the deal with the first buyer you find and a week later, you’re richer by an insane amount of cold, hard cash, sitting pretty in your bank account. You spend a weekend researching the best way to spend a whole year backpacking in Europe. You make the arrangements, book your tickets and your hotels, and you go out on Sunday evening to the mall and buy brand new backpacks and new travel accessories for yourself and your wife, and come back home in time for dinner. When your wife asks you where you were, you deflect the question innocently and move the conversation over to mundane things like the weather.

The next morning, you ride your Harley over to the bank and realize that you have far more money left over than you initially imagined. You then convert a lot of the money into Euros, a lot of the money into Dollars and a lot of the money into travelers’ checks. You also instruct the bank to issue you a Visa travel card, into which you pre-load a lot of money.

You then go back home and tell your wife that you have something important to show her. She is confused, obviously. But curious. When you reveal your master plan and the preparations you’ve made so far, she is fantastically overjoyed and you get the best sex of your life for being the best husband ever.

You realize that you’re in a public place and you have a hard-on. You quickly clear your mind, pull down the visor of your helmet, start your bike just as the light turns green, and continue the ride to your office.

And Then, I Dreamt About Shoelaces… :)

)
Dreams And Shoelaces 🙂

I dream a lot, sometimes while driving, sometimes while sitting through a meeting, sometimes while talking to someone and mostly, when I’m sleeping (thankfully). I have this ability to phase out of a conversation in an instant and start dreaming about something totally unrelated and it usually takes a slap or a hard punch to the shoulder to break my reverie.

I dream about a lot of things – women, alcohol, fame, money, glory, women, phones, happiness, women, books, people, friends, enemies, work, office and women. I sometimes dream about women too, but not always. Er, was that a bit too much information? Shit, I think it was!

Anyway, I digress. The coming of the new year has been tremendous to my spirits. By spirits, I mean the type that is usually consumed orally. But otherwise too, my state of mind has been generally quite a happy one, with lots of hopes and dreams about what the new year is about to dish out. One thing I know for sure is that I’m gonna remain the Divine Yo-yo that I’ve always been. What strengthened my belief in this was an incident that happened last evening, when I was having a conversation with my friend about the lamest of lame topics – shoelaces.

Yeah, I was actually having an intelligent conversation about shoelaces with a friend of mine over a smoke, and he suggested that it was unfair for a person to spend more than 3 seconds in fastening a pair of shoes. He wanted to invent a self-tying shoelace or something that would save us our time. He had obviously never heard of Velcro.

I gently reminded him that many shoes don’t even have laces nowadays and that people don’t actually mind spending a bit more than 3 seconds tying the laces. But the guy was adamant. Maybe because he had been drinking all day long and he wasn’t in his senses; maybe because he was just being stupid, as always, I don’t know, but he was really adamant about the fact that we need automatic self-tying shoelaces!

So, I ventured a bit and actually started dreaming about the possibility of automating everything in life. It wasn’t a very good dream, as I had quite a few pervert thoughts (as you can guess). I started giggling to myself at those thoughts, when this guy decided to slap me on the head quite hard. It was quite a blow – it made me fall off the parapet and land face down on the ground. It wasn’t that high a parapet thankfully but three feet can feel like three hundred when you fall face down, and unexpectedly.

I got a text message from the guy this morning apologizing for his actions as he had thought that I was laughing at his idea and that though he still believed the idea was worth a shot, he shouldn’t have hit me on the head.

I replied to his message, “Thanks, I needed that.”

He obviously failed to see the sarcasm behind that and sent a smiley back. What a world! What a start to the year! 😀

Image Courtesy: http://www.comictreadmill.com