How To Kill The Nerve Endings In Your Bum

It’s very simple, actually. Does not involve any major surgery, does not involve a great deal of torture. All it takes is a 6-year-old motorbike that has seen better days, a 220-mile stretch of a badly maintained road, total disregard for the well-being of your ass and the ability to risk peeing blood for a week. That’s all it takes to kill the nerve endings in your bum.

It was one of those Sundays that you wished was a Saturday. Wait, why does this statement sound familiar? Anyway, my friends and I decided to take our bikes out on a (very) long road trip this past Sunday, and it turned out to be a pretty amazing day. Except for the fact that I walked funny for two days after and couldn’t sit on anything for too long without my bum muscles cramping up. We were six of us, on three totally mismatched bikes – a Bullet cruiser bike, a Yamaha sports bike and a Bajaj Boxer. Yeah, the Bajaj Boxer was mine. (Non-Indian readers, FYI – a Boxer isn’t a type of underwear here. It’s the unfortunate brand name of a motorbike.)

We set out from Bangalore early, around 6:30 in the morning, and drove up on State Highway 7 towards Mysore. After frequent stops each half hour to regain blood-flow to our asses, we stopped for breakfast at Kamat Lokaruchi, next to a place calledΒ  Janapada Loka. They had a south Indian breakfast buffet and I did not miss the chance to stuff myself with all the vada I could eat. After deciding on the route to Talkad, we headed out and cruised along for the next hour-and-a-half. The roads were so good that even my rickety old Boxer touched 80 mph. That’s around 65 kmph, and that’s her limit. She tends to get a bit ‘cranky’ if I push her harder.

Talkad - Shores of the Cauvery River

Talkad was a pretty neat experience – sat on the lake shore, ate an enormous amount of cucumbers and washed them down with some ice cream. A local guide offered his services and we took him up on his offer, and for the next hour, we were treated to the entire history of the place, and a running commentary of all the six temples as we walked past each one. This is heritage site, according to a recent government declaration and it was quite interesting to see 2000-year old temples being resurrected.

Talkad - A temple in the process of being excavated

We had our lunch at a local ‘mess’ in Talkad – it was the best lunch EVER because we had an unlimited amount of rice, sambar, rasam and papad. The taste was not too bad either.

Once we were done with Talkad, we got on to our bikes and headed south towards a place called Shivana Samudram. The roads were atrocious and my bike finally decided to call it quits. Twenty minutes of engine cooling time and an oil change later, we were back on the road.

There are two waterfalls in this place – one was a mile-and-a half walk from where we parked and the other was accessible by road. We were so tired that we decided to ride up to the second one, and were thoroughly disappointed by the thin stream of water that we could spot with difficulty at a great distance. We decided it was the best time to head back to Bangalore.

Free Beer to anyone who can spot the water fall

Four hours and a very sore ass later, we finally entered home stretch on the Bangalore highway. I dropped off my friend at her hostel around midnight and headed back home to a warm and comforting bed. I could not sleep on my back for two nights after.

All in all, it was a fantastic journey. Everyone had a great time and one of the highlights of the day was when my battered Boxer overtook the Bullet cruiser bike on the highway at full speed. I was at full speed. The Bullet was standing still on the side of the road.

The Joys Of Riding In Threes

It was one of those Sundays at the end of which, you wished it were a Saturday.

Six of us decided, I don’t know why, to take our bikes and go on a long road trip. And we decided to do it on a Sunday, with all of us having to work early on Monday morning. Yet, the enthusiasm of youth (or stupidity) made us go ahead with the plan. Out came the three mismatched bikes (a Bullet, a Yamaha and a Bajaj) and with a pillion rider each, we set forth on the path to serendipity.

I will write a longish post about the trip with photographs by tomorrow.

We did, however, witness something weird on our sojourn. No sooner had we left Bangalore, we started seeing a lot of bikes on the road with three people or more squeezed on them. I think the record was five – two adults and three kids on a scooter.

The trend continued all the way to Talkad, some 160 kilometers from Bangalore. On our way back, we saw a family of three clutching on to dear life on an aging bike that had seen better days. The funniest one was where we saw two fully-grown men on a bike, and behind them, a woman in a silk saree sitting sideways. The guy who was driving was almost sitting on the gas tank. Twice or thrice, they almost toppled over, and given the fact that it was slow-moving bumper-to-bumper traffic, the balancing act was that much harder.

I have never ridden in threes on any bike. Maybe because I’m huge, but I like to consider myself a very rational human being. I wouldn’t want to torture any bike with three people, where one of them is me.

Me, Brand Factory!

Whew! Finally!

Shefaly tagged me on May 27, 2008 with a meme that proved to be as elusive as my sanity! I finally found the time to finish the tag, that had been sitting patiently in my drafts folder all this while! πŸ˜€

The meme is about branding – to capture the role played by different brands in our lives, on a day-to-day basis. For me, a typical day would involve somewhere close to a hundred different brands in various situations, starting with my user-friendly underwear to the ever-present pair of glasses. I’ve made a very amateurish collage of all the brands I use in my day-to-day affair and very optimistically, I’ve added my own grinning picture in it, hoping that one day in the far future, I’d be a brand! πŸ˜€

Click For The Bigger Picture! πŸ™‚

WordPress plays a major role in my day, followed closely by VIP underwears, Dettol Soaps and Hanes vests. I use Colgate toothpaste in the morning and listen to 91.9 Radio Indigo. I smoke ITC cigarettes and I own a Dell computer. I have a Titan watch and I wear Arrow shirts. I have a Moto phone with a BSNL connection. I sometimes steal my dad’s Maruti car and at other times, I drive my own Bajaj bike. I use Bausch & Lomb glasses and wear Woodlands shoes. I handle Intuit and SQL Star as my clients and I drink Kingfisher beer. Oh, I almost forgot – my commode is a Parryware product and I write with a Reynolds pen! πŸ˜€

Since I’m very interested to see the responses of a few people, I tag Bina, Fruity, Ruhi, Reema, Scorpria, Deepsm25 and RJ

Cheers! πŸ™‚