“Your Missing Comment” :)

Dear Mystery Girl,

I don’t know if you remember the first time we interacted. It was, like so many other hapless souls these days, over the internet. You commented on a post of mine and then accused me of deleting it. What started out as a friendly exchange of emails soon turned into a deeply meaningful conversation in which hopes and fears were shared.

We had not seen each other and we were already beginning to feel like we have known each other for a very long time.

Then we met. We fell in love but were unable to express it. You were unsure and I was still a kid. We made promises to keep in touch and drifted apart.

But the universe had other plans for us. We found each other again in professional avatars and we both tried to ignore the white elephant in the room that always loomed over us. Those unkept promises and those unsaid words of love and passion. We worked well together and achieved little, but it was always a pleasure to be around you. I haven’t met anyone else with whom I have shared so much. You know my deepest fears and my darkest moments. You are aware of things and people that depress me and you have helped me through my darkness.

We drifted apart when you mysteriously disappeared from my life. When I found you again, you said, “The people who want you in their lives will find you.” That made me smile.

We’ve laughed, fought, almost cried, smoked, smoked up and gotten drunk together. We’ve read, written and composed for each other. We’ve cursed each other and we’ve praised each  other. And even though we’re on different continents and separated by mountains, volcanoes and oceans we’ve sailed through it all.

Mystery Girl, you are a great friend, a fantastic woman and will always be the one that got away. I wonder what would have happened if we’d hooked up and given it a whirl. Oh well, if wishes were horses, I’d have a stable by now.

Yours always.

Me 🙂

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Okay People! Time Out! What In God’s Name Is Happening Here!?

So, I’m sitting here on my bed, trying my best to get photoshop to work so that I can finish three websites in the next one hour, when Vishesh pings me. (Gee, it’s been a while since I’ve linked people from this blog! Yay!)

He asks me, “Any idea who The Successor is? Is it you?”

Now, this might seem like a normal question for someone who’s about to become a king or something after murdering his tyrant father who used to rule with an iron fist and a heart of crap. But for me, it sounded as strange as finding my mirror talking back to me.

I said, “What? Who?”

So, he sent me a link: http://iarrive.wordpress.com

The link looked familiar and I clicked it, and went to a blog called ‘The Successor’. I had been here before – a week ago, I think – when this Successor guy commented on my blog. He had commented one word: ‘pathetic’.

I was just out of hibernation, and I was getting accustomed to the new dashboard layout of WordPress, when this comment appeared, piqued my curiosity and made me visit that page and leave a reciprocating comment. And I promptly forgot about that incident.

Until Vishesh reminded me tonight.

Now that I think about it, Anu had pinged me something similar last week, asking me if I knew who the guy was. It was a strange deja vu for me while chatting with Vishesh. Moreover, I felt I was being cross-examined for a crime I had no clue about!

Who is this successor guy? He hasn’t visited my blog after that one time. I don’t know what’s going on and why people think it’s me! These days, I don’t have the time for breakfast, let alone blog on MirrorCracked. So, I guess writing another blog is kind of insanely impossible for me. And if you’ve been following my blog for a while now, you should know that I”m a purist and I don’t believe in letting blogs die.

Honestly, I’m NOT the successor.

Anyway, Vishesh told me that Apar and Aaarti also believe this allegation. Sigh, what do I do to convince you otherwise?

By the way, I’ve read through the guy’s blog and it sounds like he’s got too much attitude. I wonder who it is and I wonder what’s he up to. Any guesses are welcome, but it’s NOT me!

PS: Just happened to check an insane conversation thread in the comments form between Vimmuuu and Smita! Hilarious! And dude, I’m NOT him! Grrr…  😀

What’s Gotten Me So Excited?

calvin-naked1For the past three days, I’ve been running around town butt-naked  screaming “Eureka” on top of my voice. I’ve been jumping up and down screaming nonsense and thumping everyone I meet on their backs. I’ve been gazing up at the stars and smiling broadly to myself, oblivious to the stares and sniggers and calls of “Loony” and content with myself and my nudity life. I’ve been on top of the world. I’m on cloud number nine and I want to go higher. And I wasn’t even drunk.

So, what’s gotten me into this phase? Could it be a promotion? Could it be a pay-hike? Could it be that I met the girl of my dreams? Could it be that I’ve finally realized how stifling clothes are? Could it be that I’m finally run out of sanity? No. I think it’s something else.

A decision that’s been weighing on me for the longest time; a decision that was bound to break barriers and make some noise; a decision that promises to put my whole life into upheaval and turmoil for a long time; a move that could make or break me; a move that would define who I am and what I’m made of; a decision that should be made once in a lifetime. I took that decision.

I’ll reveal what that is a bit later. Right now, I’m busy running around naked.

Blog Birthday: MirrorCracked Turns One Today!

In all my 6 years of blogging, never have I been so excited to celebrate a one-year birthday of a blog. But MirrorCracked has become more than just a blog – it’s become a way of life. I hope I’ve upheld the quality of writing all through these twelve months. There are a lot of people who are responsible for making this journey so overwhelmingly memorable.

I’ve met some fascinating people through this space. Everyone who knows me personally, professionally and online, know me a little better because of MirrorCracked. I got drunk celebrating this on Saturday, and caused quite a flutter on the streets of Bangalore. Thanks everyone! Never thought I’d last this long!

Ok, now the stats. Quite astonishing, I must say.

stats

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A total of 78,655 hits since March 16,  2008! That’s an average 6,600 hits a month. Wow! Each and every person who’s visited this blog since it’s birth deserves more than just a free beer – they deserve two free beers.

Calling For Testimonials: Call me a fisherman, but I want to know what you feel. I want to know what sort of an experience you’ve had with MirrorCracked, for however long you’ve been reading this blog. You could mail them to me, or you could just use the comment page on this post. Either way, I plan to publish all the testimonials on a separate post/page soon.

Once again, I thank you all! I’m off to get drunk! I suggest you do the same! 😀

Money Pal :)

How does it feel to be at the very edge of the country, staring into miles and miles of nothingness, feeling the great landmass of the continent behind you falling away beneath your feet, the ignominy hidden under the chaotic blue-brown waters lapping gently at your feet… You reach out to touch the crystal clear cloudless sky, you feel the gentle zephyr ruffle every strand of your hair and every thread of clothing, you dig in with your feet and feel the cold, wet sand envelope your feet, carrying you away to another world… Your hands fall back slowly to your sides, and your right arm brushes against your right hip pocket, and the whole beautiful world comes crashing down with the realization that there’s not a single penny in the bulky wallet… How does it feel to be stuck in the middle of a picturesque nowhere with no money?

I guess I found out the hard way over the past three days in Manipal. It is a strange feeling – I haven’t felt that for a long time now, and being the end of the month, I was flat broke, with just enough money to return home. Budgeting my beer intake, making sure I walk rather than take the auto, sticking to a strict regiment of cigarette rationing, and other petty little things we do once a month when we fall below the poverty line.

But the event was a great success – I was given the Best Speaker award, which was a shock to me, because there were a lot of other speakers better than me. But I guess, I made quite an impression on the judges. Now that I’m back to being a boring old fart, I think I’ll restart my blog, reclaim my distorted life, and reorient myself to being a workaholic and drown my sorrows in coffee, tea, beer, blog posts and comments. Cheers! 🙂

Really? You Sure?

“Man, your posts are boring nowadays…”

“They have lost the quality…”

“Who are you and what have you done with Nikhil?”

“Makes me wonder why I’m reading it after 2 lines…”

“Your blog has become so boring, dude!”

“You have lost that touch…”

“Why aren’t you writing like how you did before?”

“You are not being yourself but working to the formula…”

“I almost hate MirrorCracked now…”

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feedbackThese, and a plethora of other feedback have made me sit up and take notice. I look at myself in the mirror, searching for the cracks that were once so obvious, and fantasize in my head about them still being there. I wonder to myself what went wrong along the way. Maybe things went way off the mark and somewhere in the process, I focused more on being more than myself. Come to think of it, this may be the case.

Generally, negative feedback makes a person more focused on where they are headed in their venture. It forces them to re-look their act and make adequate changes to please everyone. More often than not, negative feedback makes people take a break, rethink their strategy and come back strongly with a fresh outlook on everything.

When it comes to blogs and bloggers, most negative feedback is meant to be a cause for improvement. I’ve known bloggers who’ve changed their complete profile of writing styles because of feedback. It helps some, it irks some. That’s life, I guess. After all, we all look in the mirror, hoping to see the tiny cracks that make us who we are, and panic when we don’t find them. For all those who’ve given me feedback, whether good or bad, I am indebted. Thanks for taking time off your life to show me where I’m slacking and where I need to improve.

Unfortunately, I’m a stubborn mule. I think MirrorCracked is a space where people can have a laugh, with me and at me, and I don’t see a reason to change. I will not change the way I write and I cannot promise whether my next post will be as uninteresting as this one, or as brilliant as something I wrote a long time ago. I write mainly because I feel obligated to share the details of my weirdly exciting life, and if, on some days, my life’s bland, then it’s not my fault, is it? Maybe it is… I don’t know, and honestly, I don’t care, as long as I’m happy in whatever direction I’m headed.

I repeat – I do not mean any offense to any one who gave me feedback. I am deeply indebted to you. It’s just that giving feedback to me is like throwing water balloons at a wall, hoping to make it topple. Sad, I know, but true.

I started this blog with two things in mind:

  1. Make sure that every person – man, woman, child, animal and jerk – who visits this space gets a good laugh or even a smile.
  2. Write scathing posts about the assholes of the world and show them just how much of a burden they are to this over-populated planet.

So far, in my posts, I’ve succeeded in both. Wouldn’t you agree? 😀

Quod Erat Demonstrandum!

The Feminist In Me

the-female-brainA long, long time ago Nita had tagged me and asked me to share my views on Feminism. The explanation she gave for tagging me was, “…since you like women so much…”

I thought about it for a long time, and finally assembled all that I had to say on the topic. So, here goes.

I need to make a few things perfectly clear to all my readers – I am not any of the following:

  1. An Asshole
  2. A Male Chauvinistic Pig
  3. A Womanizer
  4. A Bimbo
  5. A Gigolo
  6. A Stalker

Okay, now that the necessary evil’s out of the way, I can safely recall an incident that happened a few years ago. I was debating in a college fest and it was an impromptu event. I walked up on the stage and picked up a chit. To my horror, the topic was: “Men are the blueprints and women are the masterpiece.”

I gulped and started my talk with the words, “Men are pigs…” and went on to win the debate. I think men are a very confused race. We think we are more capable than women, we think we can achieve far greater things than women, we think we are God’s gift to women and we think we are mentally, emotionally and physically stronger than women.

We are not.

We think we can understand women. We think we can out-think women. We think we can handle emergencies better than women. We think we can survive without women. We think we can survive.

We cannot.

One of the most glaring aspects of the male-female divide is the delusions of grandeur that men seem to have picked up somewhere along the line of evolution. This reminds me of an article I’d written called The Inner Workings Of The Female Brain:

“… the present day situation demands more caution on the part of the male. The female brain has quickly analyzed the greatest weakness that the Y-chromosome accords to us. It is that, while the man has to spend his time, money and efforts to woo the girl, she on the other hand just has to smile, and the guy’s hers! […] If Sigmund Freud were alive today, he would have called the male populace of the planet as a “sad bunch of toilet-tissue-emulators!”  Though we must be ashamed of ourselves, not to mention cautious, we’re neither, and end up being the receiving end of nitrogenous treatments meted out to us by the female.

More than everything, the female brain has evolved so quickly, that when we were still trying to make faces at ourselves by looking at our reflection in the river, the female was busy creating masks…”

So, men need to learn the basics right and learn to respect women. It’ll take us a long time to unlearn habits like raising an eyebrow when we see a woman driving a car and smiling when we see a woman traffic cop. It’s also about time we learn that women make better politicians and better bosses.

PS: Okay, maybe I am an asshole in certain situations where I don’t return phone calls, but that’s in self-defense – I usually find myself associated with a lot of psychotic girlfriends! 😀