Psycho Kid Saves The World!

Kids these days!

I have a friend who’s studying media communications or some such droll in a prominent college in the city. She’s known to be a bit loony. Maybe she was dropped on her head as a child, I don’t know, but she is absolutely nuts. Her parents think she’s a mistake and don’t know how she was born; her friends think she is faking it; her teachers realize that her head is not all that properly wired and accord her the deference reserved for a 102-year-old senile inmate of a mental institution; and I think, and I’m sure I’m right, that she is the only person alive who can prove that the evolution of the human brain stopped a long time ago. πŸ˜€

Anyway, I’m sharing an email that she sent me and a million other people a few months back. It’s quite a read. It’s long-winding, but I urge you to take some time to read through it. I promise you that you’ll be laughing uncontrollably by the time you get to the third paragraph. πŸ˜€


I didn’t think I’d have to tell you so soon. But, lots of things lately have been happening pre-maturely, so I guess I should’ve expected this.

I don’t know how to say this, so let me just come to the point. By the end of this year, the Third World War is going to begin in earnest. This is not some wild fantasy prophesying the end of the world. You may not believe it, but I do. And I KNOW it’s coming. I do not say this to scare you, but it is imperative that you know the truth. The truth is not only is the war imminent, but also that I am going to play a big part in it – trying to establish peace. It may sound like a line out of a movie, but I assure you I’m not playing at being a hero. This is my calling. It is what I have come here to do.

To be able to fulfil my destiny better, it is my decision to stop college altogether. I have learnt all I possibly can from educational institutions; it is now time for me to do what I was born to do.
I have been preparing for this war and its consequences for quite a while now. This war is going to be worse than anything you can ever imagine. Scary as it is, we must face up to it.

I fervently wish that you trust me and believe what I am telling you. I have no reason to lie to you. I gain nothing by stressing the proximity of war, except that I can somehow help you.
You may not think me able to face up to something so big – I know I’m little and thin and look like I can be blown away by a gust of wind. But, never judge a book by its cover.
I know you’re still thinking, “So why do you have to leave college before anything happens.” Well, first of all, there’s no use in continuing with college, because it will not teach me anything that will help me. Secondly, I’m to use the time off to physically train for the upcoming changes. Thirdly, I have prepared a list of items of survival and I will have to find the means of collecting such equipment in bulk. Fourthly, I must prepare various items necessary to survive the war and climatic changes.

I know you feel that I can do all these things while going to college, but here’s my question, “What’s the use of going to college?” You may argue that what I say may not happen, and I confess that I have no means to prove it to you. However, the universe has always been good and communicative with me, and all I can say is that I KNOW.

Do not try to stop me or reason with me. This is the path I choose. This is as far as it concerns me. But, I am concerned about you, too.

It may come as no surprise to you that this war is going to employ nuclear and bio-chemical warfare. It is therefore that I suggest that as you see the signs of impending warfare, Please prepare for it as best you can. Maybe your life plan does not involve you doing anything about it right now. But, that day will come. And I hope you will be at least mentally prepared for what is to come.

You could find some means of buying the requisite commodities you will need to safeguard yourself and your family from the hazards of war. Ample information and materials are available on the internet. And, besides, I’ve been preparing a list of such items and will only be glad to help you.
In my opinion, it would be best if you remained with your family through the war. However, if by some chance, you are stranded and cannot reach your family at any time, remember that you can always depend upon me. I also suggest that you think of a safe and remote area, where you and your family can move to in case of an evacuation.

You will also need to make your peace with death – your own, of family, friends and the people around you. Everyone and everything that is born, eventually dies. I know it is poor consolation, but it is the truth. This war is going to bring out the ugly side of human nature. There is going to be rampant looting, stealing and (unfortunately) raping. My advice is to get yourself a weapon, NOT pepper spray. And so, you will have to make your peace with killing and maiming, too.
I know I’m painting a very gruesome picture, but I want you to be ready for every eventuality. This war is, in all probability, going to make your worst nightmares, real. Be prepared for the worst. After all, it is said that when you are prepared for something, it does not come. Because when it comes, you are ready.
There is going to be a shortage of food, water, shelter. Electricity and water supply will stop. All national resources will be geared towards helping the soldiers at war. Prices are going to rise terribly. The weather will change dramatically. All this while there is the constant dread of being attacked. This is why I’m stressing the need to be prepared.

Above all, be strong. Believe in yourself. When you find yourself asking, “Why is this happening to me?” Know that life is asking you a question. Life is asking you “Are you up to the challenge?” Believe that life will never give you something you something that you cannot handle. Believe in the justice and the love of the universe. The universe will never let you down. All the challenges that will come your way will make you stronger. You will grow to your full potential.

“We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change our situation… we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor E. Frankl.
If you feel the need for any kind of support, I will always be there for you. Perhaps, in a way it is good that I was forced to tell you earlier than I had planned, this way I will be there beside you to give you fair warning and whatever support I can offer.

All this may not make sense to you, but you must understand that it means the world to me. I do not know many details, so there’s no point in asking. I do not know when or where or how you will be affected. But, one thing is for certain, I will not fail to provide you whatever support you require. After all, what are friends for?

Oh, by the way, she hasn’t quit college yet and she is yet to fulfil her destiny. πŸ˜€


I got my old phone back!! Yippeeeeeee!!

Ok, I got carried away. I apologize. When I went to New York a year ago, I left my lovely sleek camera-less Moto flip phone with my younger brother for safekeeping. Of course, I should have known better. He disposed of my SIM card and got a new Airtel number and started using it. I expected this, obviously, having lived with the jerk for nineteen years. But what I didn’t expect was his resistance in giving the phone back to me! I hounded him for four weeks and finally, after a lot of blood and sweat, I got my baby back! Here’s what transpired:

Week 1: I asked him nicely. “Please give me my phone back.” He refused and ran out the room.

Week 2: I tried bribing him. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if I can have my phone back!” He scoffed and said, “I’ll give you two hundred to drop the subject!”

Week 3: I tried stealing it. He had left it home and gone to college. I exchanged SIM cards and tried to start the phone, only to realize the jerk has activated a security code! Bah!

Week 4: I tried wrestling it from him. My neck is still weak from the choke hold he applied for ten minutes as I passed out.

Week 5: I emotionally blackmailed him. I promised to buy him a brand new drum kit if he gives the phone back to me.Β  He relented after bargaining for an hour – one drum kit, one carton of chocolate ice cream and a brand new Moto flip phone next month. I looked at my phone, resting in his hand, being held hostage. I never negotiate with terrorists, but my lovely phone had been through enough. I couldn’t bear to see it tortured anymore. I agreed to the jerk’s demands and said yes.

Now, I’m broke, he has a new drum kit and I have my phone back! All in all, a very satisfying deal.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, today’s his nineteenth birthday. Happy birthday, terrorist! πŸ˜€

Tiny Steps

I’ve been meaning to write this post for quite some time now, but never really got the chance. Now, I have the time, the motivation and the inclination to actually sit and write it down.

It’s a Friday afternoon and a lazy one at office. Not much of activity in the PR world on a weekend, and most of the work is to be pushed to the next week. So, I sit back in my plush chair, look up at the air-conditioned ceiling and think back at how to start this post.

This is actually an ode, a tribute to a friend of mine who’s been more than just a friend and never more. I call her Chucks, affectionately naming her after the haunted doll in a series of horror movies called Child’s Play. Chuckie’s in Sydney now, and has been for the past year and a half, studying to become a researcher in cancer genetics. Yeah, I know, she’s got big goals.

Actually, this is not an ode to Chucks, but rather a message of hope and strength that she desperately needs right now. She’s never been one to lose hope and direction in life, but quite recently, she shocked me when she said that she had lost them both. A self-deprecating journey can be disastrous and I know this first hand, when a lot of things didn’t fall in place for me at one point of time, and I fell into so deep a hole that it took me almost a year to recover. Chucks played a vital role in my recovery, and ever since, I’ve looked upon her as more of a mentor than a very good friend. it’s now been five years to the day since I’ve known her. April 18, 2002. πŸ™‚

When a mentor loses confidence, then it’s up to the disciple to take over the mantle and guide the mentor out of the looming abyss. Things happen in life that can’t be avoided. We all go through a phase when we start questioning our judgments and our decisions, and whenever possible, we must be strong enough to back ourselves up. Realizing that we are of sound mind and sound body can help a lot.

Have faith, Chucks. Never lose faith. Believe in yourself and you’ll do amazing things. I am sure of that. I know you and I know your abilities and I’m sure somewhere deep down, you do too. Hope and faith are all the ammunition you’ve got to fight depression and bad tides. I urge you to use it.

Nostalgia can go a long way in your recovery. Remember how you cured me, Chucks. Remember the medicines you gave me – nostalgia, hope and faith. I hope you remember, because if you don’t, then I’d have to come all the way to Sydney now. πŸ˜€

I wish you all the very best in your life, Chucks. You’ve got a long and fruitful life ahead of you, and please don’t lose track of your original goals and plans. I’m here for you; we’re all here for you, Chucks. We want you to succeed and I want you to fulfill your promises you made me before you left.

Proceed in tiny steps, Chucks.


Dear Readers: I apologize if this blog wasn’t really the ideal forum for posting this message to Chucks, but I had to do it. After what she’s done for me, I feel this is the least I could do. I would be grateful if you could leave behind your wishes and good will for my dear Chucks, and hope that she can get over her troubles and depressions and return home victorious! Thanks! I owe you all! πŸ™‚