Checkmate!

The white Queen stood facing the black Bishop. They were three squares away, in front of each other, in a single file. The Queen was tempted to kill the Bishop, but realized that there are other forces acting. The black Queen and the black King were very near, one square apart, on either side of the black Bishop, providing excellent protection and at the same time, harboring a threat to the white Queen. The white Queen was of a pure heart, unlike the three enemies facing her – they were dark and sadistic. She knew that if she doesn’t think rationally at this juncture, she would be killed.

She called out to her White Knight – her trustworthy adviser, her secret love, her Man among men – and asked him to help her. Ever the gentleman and always ready to lay down and die for his lovely Queen, the white Knight rode forward and in one brilliant move, stood in front of his Queen, defending her, and called out, “Check!” to the black King.

The black King was taken by surprise and the black Queen could not believe her eyes. Where had the white Knight come from? Her respect for the Knight grew, but was overtaken by her hatred and anger. She had to protect her dark King at any cost, and in her anger, she misjudged the existing threat to herself. She asked the dark King to move back a square, and as he did, she realized her folly. In an instant, the white Knight was on to her; drawing his sword, he plunged it deep into her black heart. She let out a horrifying scream as she lay dead on the battlefield. Her last words were, “White Knight, I salute you.”

Turning to his lady love, the white Knight bowed. The white Queen had tears in her eyes. “You risked your life to save mine,” she said.

“That, my lady, is my destiny,” said the white Knight.

The white Knight now stood right next to the black Bishop, who was quivering in his boots and had wet his pants just looking at the white Knight standing next to him in all his glory. The black King knew that his hours were numbered. He looked back into his camp and saw that his trustworthy assassin – the black Knight – was still available. He called out to him, “Save your King, O blackest of black Knights!”

Heeding to his King’s call, the black Knight leapt into action, and in one spring, he landed next to his King and threatened the white Queen. The Queen looked helplessly at her white Knight. He just smiled at her and said, “The dark ones are going to lose, my Queen. We shall triumph.”

He leapt high in the air and landed in front of his Queen and called out, “Check!” to the black King again. The King could not believe it. He had overlooked such a simple maneuver. “Shit!” he cried, and moved to a square to his right.

The white Knight then looked at his Queen, at her lovely face, at her beautiful eyes and extended his hand. “Do you trust me, my Queen?” he asked.

“Of course, I do!” said the Queen. “Why?”

“Then take my hand and come to me. Move a step towards me, my Queen. Trust me.”

She took his hand. She loved him more than anything else in the world and so far, he had saved her life thrice in three moves. She took a step forward and came to him.

The white Knight looked at the black King and said, “Checkmate, asshole!”

At Last!

The Dark Knight
Why so frikkin' serious!

At long last, I did it! I finally watched The Dark Knight! πŸ˜€

It happened yesterday, when Aparna sent me a message saying, “Hey, I’m going to watch Dark Knight tonight!” and I officially became the only living being alive not having watched the movie. I put a plan in motion at around six o’ clock in the evening and made up my mind that I was going to watch the damn movie no matter what! πŸ˜€

I sent my terrorist brother to his friend’s place – a friend who had managed to download the movie through ΞΌtorrent – and asked him to burn the movie on a DVD. He was not supposed to return home without the movie. And the kid did not disappoint! He returned around ten in the night and held up the DVD and said, “This is gonna cost you a hundred bucks!”

Are you frikkin nuts? I would’ve gone to the theater if I had to pay so much!” I screamed. I was now eying the DVD like it was ‘my precious’ much like Gollum did in The Lord Of The Rings! πŸ˜€

“Ok, I’ll head back to his house and return the DVD, then,” said the terrorist and turned around.

Wait!” I shouted. “Just wait. Can we.. can we negotiate?”

“How’s this for a deal: I’ll give you the DVD and you give me the hundred,” he said and leaned against the wall, as though he had all the time in the world. I fidgeted. I half-considered snatching the DVD from his hand and running to my room, but quickly dismissed the idea because he’s a bit bigger and a lot more stronger than I am, though I hate to admit it, and he’d break down my door and kick my ass if I did that. Oh, he’s broken through a few doors in his time. πŸ˜€

So, I said, “Ok, so give me the DVD.”

He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “Do I look as stupid as you do?”

We needs our precious!
We needs our precious!

“My precious,” I murmured and eyed the DVD through greedy eyes.

“My money,” he said and yawned.

“Ok, ok,” I said and opened my wallet and saw that there was exactly one hundred bucks, including the coins, which themselves added up to thirty bucks! So, I literally cleaned out my wallet and dumped all the money in his huge hands and said, “My precious! We needs our precious!” πŸ˜€

He stood there and counted the money carefully and only when he was satisfied the I hadn’t short-changed him, he reluctantly handed over the DVD to me. I snatched at it and held it close to my chest and slunk back to my room, murmuring, “Precious! My precious!”

I plugged in the DVD and sat back, put my feet up on the table and smiled to myself. I was finally going to watch The Dark Knight! After so long, after reading countless reviews in the papers and on blogs, after being ridiculed at work and outside for not having seen the movie, having sat through four weeks of lunch breaks at office, listening to people commenting on the movie and how brilliant it was and how awesome it was and how breath-taking it was and of course, those long accolades hurled at Heath Ledger, Christian Bale and Aaron Eckhart – after all that, I was finally going to watch the movie.

The movie started at 10.33 pm (I made a note of the time) and ended at precisely 12.56 pm and for those 2 hours and 23 minutes, my hand was frozen halfway between the bowl of potato chips and my wide-open mouth.

Ah, heaven! πŸ˜€