Twenty-Four Hours

If  you knew that you had only twenty-fours hours more to live, what are the things you would do?

I know it’s a morbid question, but I’ve been thinking about it ever since I heard about the guy who died three days back. Well, he was a guy in the prime of his life, much like I am, and he was on his way to work thinking, I’m sure, of all the little nuances we think about when we drive to work – the meetings we have planned, the way things are headed, last night’s dinner, the last person we had sex with, whether or not to buy the new phone, whether or not you can trust these online dating sites, whether or not its time to get the car serviced, etc. Out of the blue, he hit a particularly nasty pothole, lost control of his motorcycle, got thrown in front of a speeding bus on the opposite lane. I shudder when I imagine that it could happen to anyone.

So, to occupy my free time these past two days (and I seem to have a lot of free time), I’ve been making a list of all things I would do if someone told me that I had only 24 hours to live. It’s sort of a bucket list, but not exactly. It’s more of a death-row wishlist.

I would probably start off my last day alive with a hearty breakfast without any stops, without any of the usual healthy crap. I would stuff myself to my heart’s content and head out to get some action. I would probably sleep around all day with different women, and in the evening, drive up to a beach and drink some cold beer, watching the sun set. I would end it all by walking out to the sea and start swimming towards the horizon.

But that’s just me.

I’m sure you can think of a lot of better things to do than having a lot of unprotected sex on your last day alive. Anything interesting that you care to share? Free beer for the best one, if you’re a guy. Free date with me, if you’re a chick.

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The Love Guru, Part Deux: Club Singles! :)

Club Singles!
Club Singles!

Single people are single for a reason. They are either hideously ugly, dangerously misinformed about human anatomy or just plain unlucky, among other weirder reasons. For people who’re currently single, which includes me, ironically, I’ve decided to roll out a brand new strategy for attracting members of the opposite sex. Obviously, my advice in The Love Guru hasn’t worked if you’re still single.

I was having this very enlightening conversation with Aravind last night, when we realized that being single isn’t all that bad. By being single:

  • We save a lot of money
  • We save a lot of time
  • We save a lot of energy
  • We can ogle at cute/handsome creatures of the opposite sex without that pang of guilt
  • We don’t need to be near our cell phones all the time
  • We don’t need to worry about getting drunk and puking
  • We don’t have any tensions at all, while doing anything!

Looks like an excellent strategy, doesn’t it? Actually, it is! So good is the strategy that The Love Guru actually recommends it for people. Seriously, be single and you’ll live longer. Your gray hair will take a longer time to make their appearance, and you’ll be broke two weeks after you receive your paycheck, instead of one week, if you were seeing/dating/committed to someone. Makes sense, right? 😀

So, mark this day, people. November 11, 2008 – the day on which The Love Guru officially declares that being single is the ‘in’ thing, no puns intended.

Club Singles is available on Orkut for now. The Facebook counterpart will be up and running soon. So, if you’re not single, then read The Dummy’s Guide To Breaking Up, ditch them, become single and join Club Singles!

PS: Free beer and peanuts for the first 30 people who sign up! 😀

Cheers!

Image Courtesy: Cartoonstock.com