Chai Around The World

Chai Around The World

Howdy Folks!

I’m alive. Surprise!

So, here’s the deal. I rarely come here on MirrorCracked these days. I had forgotten my password – I got in on the 4th attempt. I don’t know what’s happening on the scene anymore. Are you guys all still here and blogging? I don’t know how many will even read this – I’m sure a lot of people would have given this blog up as dead. I hope not.

I blog at a new location now. I’ve been traveling. A lot. And not on my own. Wink πŸ˜‰

Check out Chai Around The World. Let me know what you think of it. I plan to return here soon enough. I’m mustering up the courage to revisit the old haunts, read up on all your blogs and update my abandoned blogroll very soon. Within this week, I promise. Just because I don’t blog here often doesn’t mean I don’t love you all.

Go. Read my other blog. Tell me your thoughts.

Free beer for all.

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Letter To Cupid, 2012

Statutory Warning: The following post contains words and imagery that some people may deem as inappropriate. I have used the word ‘fuck’ twice and I talk about raising my middle fingers to someone, giving that someone the message to go fornicate with themselves. I have used a photograph of a winged child-thing found dead, face down, with an arrow in its back, lying in a pool of its own filth. If you or anyone around you find(s) my language and mannerisms offensive, please click here. Else, continue reading.Β 

Cupid is Dead

DearΒ CupidΒ Asshole

Here we are again, in 2012. I’m still here, single as fuck, and you’re still there, dancing around with your gay wings and your gay arrows. I wrote to you earlier, around 4 years ago and you promised me that the next time would be different. You are a filthy liar and nothing more. If I look back on this year, all you’ve given me is hope, despair and embarrassment. What the hell is the matter with you, jackass? Can’t you just do your job right?

So, in the light of all that you’ve done for me this year and for the past so many years before, I raise both my fingers to you. Go suck an orange, kid.

Do you remember how I signed off my last letter to you? You don’t? Drop Dead.

In all sincerity,

Go Fuck Yourself.

Checkmate!

The white Queen stood facing the black Bishop. They were three squares away, in front of each other, in a single file. The Queen was tempted to kill the Bishop, but realized that there are other forces acting. The black Queen and the black King were very near, one square apart, on either side of the black Bishop, providing excellent protection and at the same time, harboring a threat to the white Queen. The white Queen was of a pure heart, unlike the three enemies facing her – they were dark and sadistic. She knew that if she doesn’t think rationally at this juncture, she would be killed.

She called out to her White Knight – her trustworthy adviser, her secret love, her Man among men – and asked him to help her. Ever the gentleman and always ready to lay down and die for his lovely Queen, the white Knight rode forward and in one brilliant move, stood in front of his Queen, defending her, and called out, “Check!” to the black King.

The black King was taken by surprise and the black Queen could not believe her eyes. Where had the white Knight come from? Her respect for the Knight grew, but was overtaken by her hatred and anger. She had to protect her dark King at any cost, and in her anger, she misjudged the existing threat to herself. She asked the dark King to move back a square, and as he did, she realized her folly. In an instant, the white Knight was on to her; drawing his sword, he plunged it deep into her black heart. She let out a horrifying scream as she lay dead on the battlefield. Her last words were, “White Knight, I salute you.”

Turning to his lady love, the white Knight bowed. The white Queen had tears in her eyes. “You risked your life to save mine,” she said.

“That, my lady, is my destiny,” said the white Knight.

The white Knight now stood right next to the black Bishop, who was quivering in his boots and had wet his pants just looking at the white Knight standing next to him in all his glory. The black King knew that his hours were numbered. He looked back into his camp and saw that his trustworthy assassin – the black Knight – was still available. He called out to him, “Save your King, O blackest of black Knights!”

Heeding to his King’s call, the black Knight leapt into action, and in one spring, he landed next to his King and threatened the white Queen. The Queen looked helplessly at her white Knight. He just smiled at her and said, “The dark ones are going to lose, my Queen. We shall triumph.”

He leapt high in the air and landed in front of his Queen and called out, “Check!” to the black King again. The King could not believe it. He had overlooked such a simple maneuver. “Shit!” he cried, and moved to a square to his right.

The white Knight then looked at his Queen, at her lovely face, at her beautiful eyes and extended his hand. “Do you trust me, my Queen?” he asked.

“Of course, I do!” said the Queen. “Why?”

“Then take my hand and come to me. Move a step towards me, my Queen. Trust me.”

She took his hand. She loved him more than anything else in the world and so far, he had saved her life thrice in three moves. She took a step forward and came to him.

The white Knight looked at the black King and said, “Checkmate, asshole!”

Tagged!!

I’ve been tagged by Bina! Here goes: (gulp)

Last movie seen in a theatre:
National Treasure Book of Secrets, Stamford, Massachusetts. The movie sucked big time. More than my money, I wish I could have my time back!! πŸ˜€

What book are you reading?
For the tenth time, The Bourne Supremacy!! πŸ˜€

Favourite board game:
Chess!!! Anytime, Anywhere… Ten bucks says I can beat you blindfolded! πŸ˜€

Favorite magazine:
Cosmopo… oops, I mean, PC World! πŸ™‚

Favorite smells:
Freshly-brewed coffee and the rain-soaked ground… πŸ™‚

Favorite sound:
Shru’s sweet sweet voice… Nothing comes close to it! πŸ™‚

Worst feeling in the world:
Waking up at 6 am on Monday morning! 😦

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
Yippee…!! It’s going to be a lovely day! (Except Monday mornings, when I’m homicidal!! Lol… )

Favorite fast food place:
Road-side gobi noodles guy!! πŸ˜€

Future child’s name:
Poor thing!! πŸ˜€

Finish this statement, β€œIf I had a lot of money I’d…”
Be in the Bahamas with Shru! πŸ˜€

Do you drive fast?

First gear: fast.
Second gear: wow, look at him!
Third gear: Road-hog!!
Fourth gear: Grease lightning!
Overdrive: E = mc
2

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
I’m not a pervert!! πŸ˜€

Storms – Cool or Scary?
Scary… Very scary!

Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Love ’em! πŸ˜€

If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
Chocolate πŸ˜‰

Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in:
Bangalore, Hubli, Dharwad, Dandeli, New York.

Favorite sports to watch:
Cricket!!!

One nice thing about the person who sent this to you:
Potentially good sutta partner!! πŸ˜€

What’s under your bed?
My deepest, darkest secret – a newspaper dated August 20, 1984!! πŸ˜€

Would you like to be born as yourself again?
I wouldn’t mind! πŸ˜€

Morning person or night owl?
Twilight zombie…

Over easy or sunny side up?
Scrambled, with a dash of cheese! πŸ˜€

Favourite place to relax:
Gokarna!! I want to be buried there! πŸ˜€

Favourite pie:
3.141567346464323….. πŸ˜€

Favourite ice cream flavor:
Chocolate!!! πŸ˜€

You pass this tag to:
Shuz, Fruity, Shiwuz, Mariacristina, Suda

Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first?
Shuz… πŸ™‚