Thirty And Me

Keep Calm Turning 30

At precisely 42 seconds past 5.30 PM this evening (on Aug 20, 2014) the Earth will complete it’s thirtieth revolution around the Sun with me on it. I have spent the past four hours reading about what it means to people when they exit their twenties.

Turning 30 is supposed to be a big deal, an achievement of sorts, having survived tsunamis, earthquakes, riots, murderers, diseases, ninja assassins and of course, traffic. It is also supposed to signify the fact that I’ve officially a grown up and cannot rely on my youthful ignorance as an excuse when I screw up. I am supposed to be responsible, financially and emotionally stable, be able to hold down a job for more than three months and not throw boogers at passersby. I am not supposed to scratch my balls in public and have random fits of paranoia causing me to run down the road naked, dodging invisible aliens. I am supposed to be mature enough to realize the difference between right and wrong, morals and immorality, black, white and grey, and most importantly, coffee and tea.

I am supposed to start leading a healthier lifestyle – no more smoking, no more drinking binges and definitely no more weed. I am supposed to drink lots of water and work out regularly to ensure that my first heart attack happens only three decades from now.

I am supposed to be a strong pillar of support for my parents, be able to provide a good quality of life for my wife and be a responsible role model for my younger brother. I am supposed to be mentally strong to deal with the real world and I am not supposed to get depressed with the fact that I am growing old and am one year closer to death.

When I look back on the things I’ve done during the past three decades, I am surprised at the level of ignorance, insensitivity and intolerable crueltyย that I have exhibited at times. I am also surprised at some of the intelligent decisions I’ve taken, something I was not sure I was capable of.

I’ve alienated people, I’ve infuriated those who love me and I’ve driven others to murderous rage. I can think of people who would put a bullet through me right now given the chance. I can think of people who would walk past me on the street and pretend to not recognize me. I can think of people who would smile at me and stab me in the back with the metaphorical knife when I turn around. But I can also think of people who would love me unconditionally and take me in as a part of their family. I can think of hundreds of people who would still acknowledge my existence without any animosity.

In a world filled with hate and anger, where people are being slaughtered each minute, the fact that one insignificant boy in Bangalore has grown up and turned thirty should not make a difference. But when I look at the journey I’ve been through to get here, I am overwhelmed. I am moved to tears at the kind of experiences I’ve had – the good, the bad and the ugly ones.

We all have fantastic experiences in our lives every day. Each moment of joy we experience means so much to us that it’s hard to imagine hordes of such people being killed. Millions of dreams and hopes being crushed every single minute by people pursuing theirs. I ask myself if it’s all worth it. Is it worth having a really ‘happy’ birthday when there is so much grief all around us. Or maybe, these tiny sparks of happiness keep the world turning.

We are all allowed meaningless rants straight from the heart, once a year. Today is my turn. As I see the clock inch closer and closer to the hallowed hour, I am filled with a little hope about hope.

Image Courtesy:ย keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk

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And So, The Crappy Year Finally Ends!

It took 365 days for this year to end. Usually, I wouldn’t have noticed how quickly the time flies and would have said some inane comment like, “I didn’t know how quickly the time flew this year!” but this time it’s different. It took an eternity for the year to end.

It was a crappy year, with good memories few and far between. Resisting the temptation to lash out at certain people,ย  slander a lot more and regret a lot of choices I’ve taken and decisions that I’ve made, I’ll try to re-live those moments that were worth remembering.

PS: All pictures have either been clicked by me or I hold the exclusive copyrights to them.

Brooklyn Bridge, NYC
January: Brooklyn Bridge, NYC
View From The Brooklyn Bridge
January: View From The Brooklyn Bridge
Central Park, NYC
January: Central Park, NYC

nyc-collage

Buffalo, NY
February - March: Buffalo, NY
Niagara Falls
February - March: Niagara Falls
Niagara Falls
February - March: Niagara Falls
Gokarna
April - June: Gokarna
Gokarna
April - June: Gokarna
Self-obsessed Photography
July - August: Self-obsessed Photography
Honing My Super Skills
August - September: Honing My Super Skills

I really hope all of you have had a much better year than I have. I wish you all a fantastic new year ahead! Don’t bother making resolutions – they’re too optimistic to live up to! ๐Ÿ™‚

Vagaries of Love :)

Is it possible for someone to fall in love without actually having seen the other person, or even spoken to the person? A few days ago, I would have said no, until I found myself in a situation where every instance of my daily life involved wondering about that elusive girl, that faceless angel who haunts my dreams and realities, the girl who is unlike any other I have known, maybe because I don’t know her and yet I can’t help but feel that I’ve known her all my life. ๐Ÿ™‚

Let me be the first to confess that I’m a workaholic for five days in a week with little or no social life on these days. Weekends for me are meant to unwind, to let myself go berserk and loosen the hold I have put on myself during the week. Lately, all I’ve been doing on weekends is sitting in front of an open Gtalk window, waiting for that special girl to come online. I know, I’m a little mad at times.

Women have this special power over men – I’ve experienced this a lot many times before – and that is the power to make men their slaves. I don’t know if I’m the only guy who’s ever experienced this strange, but beautiful phenomenon, but I found myself being drawn into a web of words, emotions and feelings while saying a simple “Hi” or a “Hello” with this girl. Ah, well… Wherever you are, I hope you remember chatting online with this hopeless romantic. ๐Ÿ™‚

I am forced to eat my words against Cupid. That senseless idiot has struck me again! I wonder where he was hiding. I had been very careful to avoid getting caught in his line of fire and I almost thought that I was immune to his arrows. But alas, he has proved to be a bit more powerful than me. ๐Ÿ™‚

Ms. Charming Girl, if you’re reading this, please don’t be alarmed. I am not a maniac and I am not a stalker, and I will not dwell on your unattainability. I can accept the fact that the best things in life are the hardest to come by and most of them are already taken. I was perhaps a bit slow to arrive at the scene. This post is just a small dedication to you and your charming wit – I love the way your alphabets and words make perfect sense to me… ๐Ÿ˜‰

This is perhaps the next best thing to writing a love note in a piece of parchment and rolling it up in an airtight bottle, corking the top and throwing it in the sea, because at least this way, you can have a chance to know what I feel like. Thanks for giving me your phone number when I asked you for it in my dream. Your voice sounded very sweet indeed! ๐Ÿ™‚

Tiny Steps

I’ve been meaning to write this post for quite some time now, but never really got the chance. Now, I have the time, the motivation and the inclination to actually sit and write it down.

It’s a Friday afternoon and a lazy one at office. Not much of activity in the PR world on a weekend, and most of the work is to be pushed to the next week. So, I sit back in my plush chair, look up at the air-conditioned ceiling and think back at how to start this post.

This is actually an ode, a tribute to a friend of mine who’s been more than just a friend and never more. I call her Chucks, affectionately naming her after the haunted doll in a series of horror movies called Child’s Play. Chuckie’s in Sydney now, and has been for the past year and a half, studying to become a researcher in cancer genetics. Yeah, I know, she’s got big goals.

Actually, this is not an ode to Chucks, but rather a message of hope and strength that she desperately needs right now. She’s never been one to lose hope and direction in life, but quite recently, she shocked me when she said that she had lost them both. A self-deprecating journey can be disastrous and I know this first hand, when a lot of things didn’t fall in place for me at one point of time, and I fell into so deep a hole that it took me almost a year to recover. Chucks played a vital role in my recovery, and ever since, I’ve looked upon her as more of a mentor than a very good friend. it’s now been five years to the day since I’ve known her. April 18, 2002. ๐Ÿ™‚

When a mentor loses confidence, then it’s up to the disciple to take over the mantle and guide the mentor out of the looming abyss. Things happen in life that can’t be avoided. We all go through a phase when we start questioning our judgments and our decisions, and whenever possible, we must be strong enough to back ourselves up. Realizing that we are of sound mind and sound body can help a lot.

Have faith, Chucks. Never lose faith. Believe in yourself and you’ll do amazing things. I am sure of that. I know you and I know your abilities and I’m sure somewhere deep down, you do too. Hope and faith are all the ammunition you’ve got to fight depression and bad tides. I urge you to use it.

Nostalgia can go a long way in your recovery. Remember how you cured me, Chucks. Remember the medicines you gave me – nostalgia, hope and faith. I hope you remember, because if you don’t, then I’d have to come all the way to Sydney now. ๐Ÿ˜€

I wish you all the very best in your life, Chucks. You’ve got a long and fruitful life ahead of you, and please don’t lose track of your original goals and plans. I’m here for you; we’re all here for you, Chucks. We want you to succeed and I want you to fulfill your promises you made me before you left.

Proceed in tiny steps, Chucks.

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Dear Readers: I apologize if this blog wasn’t really the ideal forum for posting this message to Chucks, but I had to do it. After what she’s done for me, I feel this is the least I could do. I would be grateful if you could leave behind your wishes and good will for my dear Chucks, and hope that she can get over her troubles and depressions and return home victorious! Thanks! I owe you all! ๐Ÿ™‚

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