Insane Trends For 2012

A while ago, I had educated the world about the famed Stupidity Index. Now, as we move into the new year with new hopes and renewed miseries, I will present to you my top five insane trends to watch out for in 2012:

Excessive 9gagging:

9gag logoOver the past year, 9gag has become a trend statement of sorts with all kinds of memes being made popular by a very large percentage of the world’s population. Being a 9gagger has become a matter of pride for some and a matter of principle for others. Excessive 9gagging has shown to result in involuntary drooling, day dreaming during work and sudden, inexplicable erections in men in January, courtesy of their no-bra campaign. This trend is insane enough to make this list and its worth keeping an eye out for.

Facebook Marriages:

Facebook_WeddingMore and more people are getting ‘married’ on Facebook these days. In 2011, there were 109 recorded marriages on the social networking site whose user base makes it the fourth most populated country in the world. If you like someone very much and want to get married to that person but can’t afford a wedding, then the the trendsmith recommends a Facebook marriage – change your relationship status to ‘Married’ and indicate the person you want to marry. Once that other person (hopefully your better half) has reciprocated this action, your statuses will be updated for the whole world to see.

This is a very useful recommendation for all those who are constantly broke. Go forth and get hitched. After all, being insane enough to get married in this day and age trumps the fact that you’re doing it on Facebook.

The Flash Mob Phenomenon:

Flash MobThe mob has many heads but no brains. Or so they say. The last four months of 2011 saw an exponential rise in the number of randomly arranged flash mobs in India, US, UK and Australia. Most of the flash mobs were centered around people dancing to or singing a popular trending song. This year, there are all the indicators that the Flash Mob culture will rise strongly and will involve people from all walks of life to behave like idiots for a few minutes.

Status Messages:

status messageThere was an astronomical increase in the number of people searching for the phrase ‘best status messages’ on Google. It’s probably the influx of innumerable brain alternatives that people these days are not able to think smartly for themselves. Sadly, some of the best status messages on IMs and social networking sites are re-hashed nonsense. One of the trends to watch out for in 2012 will be the hunt for an original status message.

Taking An Arrow To The Knee:

Arrow to the knee - skyrimSkyrim, with all its hype and drama, gave the world much than they promised. More than half the world’s population are nursing sore knees after being shot by arrows. This phrase, which evolved into a meme and now has grown into a full-fledged fan site, will not die quickly. 2012 will see growing popularity and acceptance.

So, that’s my list. In case you have more insane trends to watch out for, enlighten us in the comments. Cheers, and a happy new year to you all. Stay Hungover!

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Need vs. Want

It seems everyone around me is doing it. People I least expect to do it are doing it and it makes me feel a bit left out. No, they aren’t doing it, in the literal sense of the phrase. They’re getting tattoos done on their bodies, and I thought I should get one myself.

The funny thing about making up one’s mind about body modification is the fact that no matter how much one jokes about it, it has to be taken seriously. A tattoo is a permanent thing, and to take it lightly might result in being stuck with the mistake forever. Yesterday, I was having a very mature conversation with a close friend of mine (who used to blog before she ditched the country and ran away to hide under the Queen’s skirt in the United Kingdom). She told me that she’ was getting a tattoo on her back, under the neck and asked for my suggestions about the words.

Selfish bastard that I am, I somehow managed to turn the conversation thread into whether or not I should get one and if I did, what it should be. It also got me thinking later if it’d be a mistake to get one. I consulted another friend of mine who’s crazier than most crazy people, and she said that I’d be crazier than her if I got a tattoo. Now that’s not the kind of branding I want for myself. Another argument against getting a tattoo is the fact that I only want to get one because I’m bored in life and want to do something insane, and that I don’t really NEED a tattoo. In the past, when life got to monotonous, I have quit my job, I have gone on long vacations, I have gone on a spending spree, I have moved houses and I have slept with random women. This time, none of these options seem viable.

The counter-argument to this is I’m feeling left out and desperately want to be part of the tattoo’d crowd.

Now, 48 hours later, I’m still vacillating about this. Should I get one? Or should I just let it be and latch on to some other passing fancy? Help!

Cartoon Courtesy: http://www.cartoonstock.com

What A Man Wants! :)

Be warned, this is an opinion poll! 😀

I was bored to death today, searching aimlessly for a new theme for the site, trying in vain to purchase the domain name and realizing that a debit card is not a credit card, yawning every three minutes, scratching my face and my head and my back loud enough to annoy others around me and, every now and then, texting song request to the radio station. There was absolutely nothing of importance to do at work today, and I felt like going back home to the warm comfort of my bed, the blue blanket, the soft pillows, the England-South Africa test match and a warm cup of tea. If wishes were horses, I’d have a stable by now.

One thing of interest that cropped up today was a very heated argument discussion debate about what sort of women do men prefer. Er.. Let me rephrase that. The discussion was about what sort of women men find attractive – tall or short. There were four players in this very animated discussion and I shall christen them Hot Chick, Stud 1, Stud 2 and Pimp Me. 😀

Hot Chick started the debate and said that the reason she was wearing 6-inch heels was that she wanted to look taller and that tall women exact a second look wherever they go. She explained about how tall women, irrespective of whether they were attractive or not, are always the focus of attention of men, while walking down the street, making a presentation, or just about anything. She threw a few famous personalities in the ring and argued how these tall women were winners in life, and claimed that all tall women are famous mostly because of their height and ignored all the other formulae for success. 😀

Stud 1 then stepped into the fray and argued against this, and claimed how he admired shorter women. He claimed that some of the most famous women in history were short and that the average height of an Indian woman is around 5’1″ to around 5’3″, and any woman taller than this exact a second look because of this deviation from the ‘norm’. 😀

Stud 2 just agreed with Stud 1.

All three of them looked at me and I voiced one of my favorite quotes of wisdom, “An opinion is like an asshole; everyone has one!” 😀

Lots of other people also joined in the debate and eventually, everyone was shouting his/her asshole opinion. Hot Chick decided to take this debate public and asked me to write a post on it and throw the debate open to the intellectually superior readers of MirrorCracked their views on the topic. In a nutshell, the question being discussed is this:

Are taller women more attractive than shorter women and do taller women succeed as eye candy mainly because of their height?

Don’t hold anything back, dear Reader. Whatever your opinion (er…) is, just say it! Let’s see where this goes. I am just a moderator, and I will take offense if anyone calls me a sexist. Call me any other name, I can live with it! 😀

The 6 signs of insanity!

Over the years, insane people have ruled the world and through their insanity, proven to the rest of us that we were extremely lucky to be born and raised the way we were. But before we start rejoicing and gulping down tequila shots and raising toasts to our sanity, we should stop and consider the six signs of insanity that are not always apparent. 😀

You know you are insane if you display –

1. An excessive desire to smile broadly to yourself in public. But beware, this could also mean that you are in love, as I discovered after a rather surreal weekend.

2. A tendency to stare at people for a long time, with no visible change in your expression other than winking at the person from time to time and wrinkling your nose at an imaginary stench until the person who’s being stared at either slaps you or walks away disgusted.

3. A burning desire to hum the tunes from the movie Speed whenever you are in the elevator, irrespective of whether there are other people around you.

4. A habit of picking both nostrils at once when in a dinner and holding your fingers in there while sucking the strands of noodles.

5. A lack of common sense when talking to someone from whom you need a favor and repeatedly threaten him/her that you will steal their underwear the next time he/she is sleeping.

6. Your private parts in public.

Judge yourself. Are you sane? 😀