Dental Plaque And The Sugar Doughnut

I’m sure this has happened to everyone. There no point pretending that I’m the only person in the whole wide world this sort of incident has happened to.

There I was, innocently biting into my (tenth) gulab jamun while watching Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen on my laptop, when a shooting pain in my teeth forced me to drop the bowl of thick sugar syrup all over my bare legs. Nothing fell on my the laptop (which is in perfect working condition Apar, don’t worry) thankfully, and I spent the rest of the morning cleaning the room and myself. Only later did I realize that my teeth need checked my a dentist.

So, that evening, I walked over to a nearby clinic and got an appointment for later the same evening. Ignoring the bad sentence construction, I walked in at the appointed hour and sat on a plush couch, reading a copy of the latest Outlook and getting rapidly bored.

I must have dozed off because the receptionist shook me vigorously and told me that the doctor was ready for me. In my groggy state, I yawned and mumbled, “Finally. Thank you,” when she slapped me hard. I was stunned. I held my cheek where she’s slapped me and said, “What did you say??”

Now, a normal human being would’ve asked this before slapping someone, but she was, I guessed correctly, a rare find.

“I said ‘Finally, thank you’ ” I told her angrily, still clutching my face.

“Oh!” she said, eyes widened in shock and apology. “I thought you said ‘Fuck you’. You mumbled so I couldn’t hear properly! I’m sorry! I’m really sorry!”

Leaving her in the subservient state, I walked into the dentist’s room. He was sitting in the center of the room on a stool, placed in front of a horrifying dentist’s chair, which had all the evil accouterments one usually associates with the murderous, villainous doctors in horror movies – gleaming silver instruments that were sharp enough to rip someone’s brains out through their noses. I gulped and stood there.

He saw me clutching my face and said, “Hurts, does it?”

“What?” I said, confused, and realized that I was still holding my face. I quickly put my hand down and said, “No no, your receptionist slapped me just now.”

He didn’t seem surprised. “Third one today,” he said resignedly. “I ought to fire her. Anyway, take a seat, please,” he said pointing to the torture chair. I looked strangely at him and sat down. He said, “Okay, let me see…” and shined a flashlight into my mouth and peered around. I could see the bright overhead light and the dentist’s masked silhouette as he assessed my dental strength.

“There’s some plaque,” he said. “I’ll get my associate to do something about it,” and he walked out, leaving me in the chair, mouth open, with a torture device sticking out of it. I twirled my thumb and waited until a short, stocky woman came in and started poking around in my mouth with a metal device that hurt like hell.

Five minutes later, it was all over and she announced, “We’ve removed the plaque. That’ll be 1200 bucks.”

So, I paid up and walked out and I couldn’t help but feel that I’d been cheated out of something. As soon as I stepped out, I saw the brilliance of the dentist’s business plan – his clinic was right next to a bakery! I could see breads and cakes and doughnuts calling out to me from within and cursing my weak will, I went in and bought a fresh sugar doughnut and bit into it. Just as I was about to wipe the sugar crumbs off my face, the short, stocky woman dentist walked into the same bakery, bought some sweets and gave me a knowing smile and walked out.

“Bastards,” I said to myself as I walked back home, enjoying my doughnut.

PS: For updates on Simran’s sales and how I’m handling my mini rise to fame, please click here.

Advertisements

Simran Ebook Available For Download!!

IT’S TIME!

Simran is now available for download! Please download it and read it and let me know how good or bad it is! Damn, I am so frikkin excited!!

Click the nice little “Add To Cart” button below and you can use Paypal to buy the book. Oh, by the way, a lot of people told me that $10 was too steep, so in the spirit of goodness, the price has been reduced to $5.00 only for the readers of MirrorCracked (with a substantial cut to my royalties, of course!) πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

So, what are you waiting for? Click, buy, read, review!

Add to Cart

This is awesome! Yay!! πŸ™‚

Okay, so two books down. I wonder how many more… I’m off to have beer..!! Yay! πŸ™‚

6 Hours To Go! :)

Simran Cover Final

This is it! The big day! At 4:00 pm this afternoon, Simran will be released, available for download, right here on MirrorCracked!

The countdown begins! God, I’m so excited! πŸ™‚

Watch this space!

Exclusive Excerpts From Simran :)

And now, as I had promised, I’m proud to give you a few select excerpts from the book, exclusively for the readers of MirrorCracked. I hope you like it, and if you do, please be sure to spread the word. It’s in the PDF format and you would need Adobe Reader to view it.

First of all, I’d like to thank all of you for your wishes and congratulations for the launch of my second book and first novel, Simran. It’s an amazing feeling and I have to tell you, I’ve been writing for a long time now and this story was perhaps the most satisfying to narrate. There are aspects to the story that have been influenced by real-life events, which makes it that much closer to my heart.

And now, as I had promised, I’m proud to give you a few select excerpts from the book, exclusively for the readers of MirrorCracked. I hope you like it, and if you do, please be sure to spread the word. It’s in the PDF format and you would need Adobe Reader to view it.

Simran Excerpt Download
(Right Click, Save As...)

Just to remind you folks, the e-book is releasing on the 20th of July, 10 days from now and will be available on Amazon.com for $18.90. But if the book is downloaded on MirrorCracked, it’s available at $10.00, for the first two months.

Please read through the opening chapters of the book in the excerpt above and let me know your views. Bouquets and brickbats are welcome.

PS: Spread the word.

PPS: Please buy it once its released! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Simran: Second Book, First Novel :)

Simran

Genre: Fiction
Author: Nikhil Kumar
Publisher: Waters Publishing House, New Delhi
Price: $18.90 (special rate for MirrorCracked downloads: $10.00)

Okay, it’s about time I come out of my hibernation and reveal what I’ve been up to. No, I’m not dead. I’ve been holed up finishing my second book (my first novel), after being repeatedly hit over the head with a hockey stick by everyone I know and forcing me to complete the book. There it is – my novel is done! Phew!

No one knew what I was working on. A very few people guessed it, but most others thought I had gone into hiding after publicly humiliating myself in Delhi. Unfortunately, all those rumors are untrue (except perhaps the humiliation bit).

So, what’s the book all about, you ask? Well, I’m kind of proud of it myself. The book’s called ‘Simran’, and I’ve been told by my editors and reviewers that it appeals to almost every age group. It’s a book about love, strength, betrayal and the power of memories. It’s a book about miracles and how easy it is for us to overlook them. It’s a book that doesn’t tell you a moral, for the moral lies hidden within each of us. It’s a story that was worth telling. I’m glad I did. Here’s a sneak peek at the cover:

SimranCover

The book will be available for download on the 20th of July, that’s 11 days from now. Now, here’s the exciting part – you guys have stuck with me for this past one year through all my rants and misfortunes and laughed with/at me and my misadventures. To show my gratitude and appreciation, my publishers and I have agreed to make the book available for download right here, on MirrorCracked, at an unbelievable price, for a limited period.

The book is stated to be priced at $18.90, being available on Amazon. But if the book is downloaded on MirrorCracked, it’s available at $10.00, for the first two months. The book is also scheduled to be printed in DecemberΒ  by Waters Publishing House in New Delhi, and will be available in bookstores in India, US, UK and Canada early January.

I am quite excited to have come this far. When my first book was published, I was over the moon and never quite thought I’d experience it again.

I’d really appreciate it if you could spread the word about ‘Simran’. Over the next few days leading up to the launch, I’ll be sharing excerpts from the book, exclusive background research material and of course, my latest Delhi Disaster posts. Yay!!